Growing Up Too Fast

There are parts of being a mom that aren't all that fun, I'll admit. Like when your child wakes up at 3:30 in the morning, settles themselves back down, but then you can't fall back asleep for an hour and a half. Or like this morning, when our day started with the sort of blow out diaper that makes you want to take the entire crib--child and all--into the backyard and just spray everything down. 

Honestly, I really didn't want to spend my morning cleaning poop out of stuffed animals, blankets, and the carpet. Messy diapers don't really bother me and I can even handle throw up, but cleaning up stuff like that is just gross, no matter how you look at it. It's not the best part of motherhood, that's for sure. 

But I still can't wish it away. Not right now. 

Right now, I'm feeling a little sentimental. I'm only two months away from a new baby entering my world and Ashtyn just seems to grow faster and faster the older she gets. 

On Sunday, Ashtyn went to nursery for the first time. It was a few weeks early, but with our new callings, Ben and I couldn't take her with us to the block meeting, so off to nursery she went. And she did so great. 

Ben and I walked her over together. She was a little timid coming in, even when I showed her the toys, but she seemed okay. I gave her a kiss goodbye and left to teach my class. Ben stayed to make sure she'd be okay with me gone. 

When Ashtyn noticed I was gone, she asked for me. Ben told her that I was in class and gave her a doll to play with. She sat down to play and Ben told her goodbye. He left and peeked in at her through the window. She was just playing. 

Ben looked in on her a few more times throughout the meeting. Once she was just sitting there, eating their little snack. The next time he checked on her, they were playing ring around the rosies and she was happy as can be. Another little girl came over and gave her a hug and Ashtyn hugged the girl back. 

Ashtyn did great, but I had a harder time. I feel so emotional about leaving my baby in nursery, though I know it's illogical. I kept tearing up during primary when I'd think of her not being with me. I am really glad she did so well, but it still just tears at my heart. 

Ashtyn is my baby. My first baby. And she's growing up way too fast. Every time I look at her, I realize how much like a little girl and not a baby she is. She can eat most everything (except soup and yogurt, because she doesn't quite grasp the spoon concept yet) on her own, count to ten like a champ, sing the alphabet song, identify all her letters, and talk well enough to tell you what she wants (most of the time). Every time I turn around, she's bigger and more grown up. 

I know that she still needs me and that she'll always need me to some extent. I'm just not quite ready for these early days to be disappearing so quickly. I love them, and my precious baby, too much for it. 

So, please, time, just slow down a little and let me enjoy these little moments.

I Think Ashtyn's Smarter Than Me

It amazes me every single day how quickly Ashtyn picks on things. Sometimes she says or does something and I just sit there in amazement, thinking "where did she learn that?" and "she is so smart!"

I, of course, do things to try and teach her. We've been working on letters and colors and things. But she honestly just picks things up from me or Ben or Signing Time or somewhere that I didn't even mean to teach her.

The other day, we were sitting on the couch. She understands the concept of two and loves to count things "one, toon!" Ben had been trying to teach her to count to three, but before, she'd always said, "One, toon! One, three!"

We were looking at a book together while sitting on the couch and I pointed to something, telling her to count it. She pointed her finger and said, "One, toon, three, four, five, six!"

I was literally blown away. I had no idea she knew how to count like that and actually don't know where she picked it up, unless Ben and I have just done it enough that she learned it. Now, she always skips four, but has added first seven and now eight to her counting. She also will say nine, ten independently of the other numbers randomly.

Another example of this is her letters. She loves letters and knew quite a few, but there were still a lot she didn't know. I wanted her to learn every letter, lower and upper case, with the sign, by her second birthday. We started at the beginning and had just finished the letter e. I found an app on my phone that just showed letters and we scrolled through it. I was amazed that she knew all her letters except maybe three. She now knows all her upper case letters and most of the signs.

She also is so smart when it comes to music. She sings quite a bit of the alphabet song with me when I sing it and knows a lot of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Ring Around the Rosies, and Happy and You Know It. There are other songs that she tries to sing along with (and does a good job) like I Just Can't Wait to Be King from Lion King and a song we play in the car sometimes. It's a Hilary Weeks CD and the song goes "Piece by piece by piece, but you're just passing through," in the chorus. Every time these lyrics come up, Ashtyn is ready for them and says, "piece! Piece! Piece! pause troooooo!" And it's adorable.

I love watching Ashtyn learn and love to learn. I hope that I can encourage to keep her love for learning all her life.

Our New Routine

Now that we're settled into our new apartment, we've fallen into a pretty nice routine. Of course, there are times when we don't follow this (like this morning, when we slept in and had family snuggle time in bed, keeping Ashtyn there by letting her watch videos of herself on my phone), but I like our relaxed routine a lot.

Ben has started waking up at 5:30 and starting work right away. He really likes this, because he feels more productive early in the morning or late at night than during the day. I wake up at 5:45 and get my hypnobabies in. Then I drink my lemon water while I write in my journal and do scripture study, before Ashtyn wakes up.

I also try to get my exercise and shower in, and I like to make the bed and do the dishes before Ashtyn wakes up, but most days I don't get all (or any) of these in before she gets up because I don't push myself out of bed. I feel to lazy!

When Ashtyn wakes up, we sit on the rocking chair and snuggle or talk until she is ready to get down. Some days she wakes up adamantly asking for a smoothie, so we'll go down and do that, but most days we get her dressed and pick up the upstairs clutter. Then we head down and make breakfast.

Ashtyn starts off breakfast with eggs (scrambled with cheese, she loves them if I give them to her first), then usually has a carb (a granola bar, a cracker, a piece of bread) and peaches. Sometimes we have sausage or other fruit and if we have cookies around, she sometimes even gets a cookie for dessert. She watches Signing Time while she eats.

While she's eating, I make eggs for Ben and I and clear out the dishwasher if it still needs it. Then Ben takes a break from work and comes down to eat real quick. He heads back to work while Ashtyn watches the last of her Signing Time and I finish cleaning the kitchen. If there is food that needs to be made (like a natural yeast sponge), I'll do that too.

Then Ashtyn and I just hang out and play. We usually turn on music and just play with her toys downstairs. If it's warm enough outside, we also like to go for walks outside. Ashtyn will get her shoes and bring them over to me, saying "walking!" We also sometimes go and hang out at Ben's mom's house, if I don't have a bunch of other stuff to do (which, I admit, is rare).

Around ten thirty, we have a snack. What we have differs pretty much everyday, but Ashtyn loves snacks because we don't make her get in her high chair for them.

On Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and as needed, we give Ashtyn her bath, usually right before lunch. She loves baths and playing in the water with her letters. We do mornings because a lot of nights, we're out visiting and don't want to come home early enough to give her bath and still get her to bed on time.

Around noon, we have lunch. Every once in a while, I'll make something for lunch, but we usually just eat food prepped stuff and leftovers. Ben comes down again from work. One of the things I love most about Ben working from home is that we get to eat together pretty much every meal.

After lunch, we clean up the kitchen a little and then put Ashtyn down for her nap. During her nap, I make food and do food prep, do chores that are harder to do while she is awake, and relax. Sometimes Ben and I spend time together, sometimes I watch TV or read, and sometimes I do crafts. I haven't been focusing on my business as of late, because I'm not sure what I want to do with it or that I even want to do it. It's all up in the air.

After her nap, we make a smoothie and Ashtyn watches some Disney songs on YouTube. Her favorites are the ones with animals in them. A lot of times, Ben is done with work because of how early he starts, so he comes down and gets his smoothie. When Ashtyn's done watching, a lot of times we go over to his parent's house to hang out. If not, Ashtyn and I might go into the back to play if it's warm enough or we just hang out. We do dinner together and listen to more music. It's usually pretty relaxed in the evening.

At 7:45, we start getting Ashtyn ready for bed and put her down by 8:30. Then I might do a quick house sweep, if I feel up to it, and we usually jump the dishes in the dishwasher. If I need to put bread in or something, I'll do that while Ben does the dishes. Then we get to spend time together until we make ourselves go to bed. It's nice that we have that time. When the new baby comes, we probably won't for a little while, but I want to get to that point again.

I really love the life we have. We have fun doing little things and we aren't as busy as when we had school and multiple jobs and everything. I love that we can relax more together and that we can find ways to connect as a family. I feel so grateful.

Ashtyn at Church

Ashtyn loves going to church. She gets really excited when I tell her it's church day, which I think is pretty cute.

For her, it all starts when we get out of the car in the parking lot. She loves it because she can go "walking" (her absolute favorite thing), holding Mom's finger with one hand and Dad's finger with her other hand. We walk into the sacrament room and over to our bench. Inevitably, she tries to walk away from the bench and she throws a mini fit about having to sit.

Once we're seated, she looks at the program. She loves pictures of temples and Jesus, so the program is fun for her. She also loves identifying the letters that she knows (like W and H). She'll sit and read it, sometimes for quite awhile.

She's really good during sacrament, usually (for a less-than-18-month). More and more, she'll sit between Ben and I on the bench. She still likes to stand up, turn around, and look at everyone behind us. When there's a baby behind us, she'll wave and say hi, sometimes saying "hi Thomas!" (her baby cousin's name is Thomas). She also will continue throughout the meeting to get down, saying "walking!"

During the sacrament, she loves to watch for the bread and water to come and then take the sacrament (of course). She signs bread and water and as soon as she's had her's, she asks for more. I usually give her her sippy cup of water right after.

During the hymns, she's started wanting her own hymnbook. She'll sit next to me with the book open on her lap and "sing" with us, flipping through the pages. She loves the hymn books, probably because we wouldn't let her have them when she was younger and going through her rip every page phase.

Ashtyn loves prayers. She thinks folding her arms is the greatest thing ever. She'll look up on the stand and see everyone's eyes closed, saying "shhhh" (that's what she does when anyone is "sleeping"). I think it's so cute that she loves prayers so much.

Keeping her entertained during sacrament is a job, but it's not the exhausting part. She's really good through the sacrament and then we have snacks, coloring, books, and toys that keep her quiet and occupied.

After sacrament, we go to Sunday school. Ashtyn is so close to being old enough for nursery, but isn't quite there yet. Ben and I are both really ready for that transition to come.

Ashtyn loves walking through the halls. I usually make a bathroom stop (because I'm pregnant) and Ashtyn loves going into the bathroom with me. Right now, Ben and I sit a chair apart in Sunday school and the chair in the middle is Ashtyn's. She spends most of her time on the floor, coloring and eating snacks and trying to get out to run around. We try our hardest to keep her quiet, occupied, and by us. By the time Relief Society comes around, I usually let her loose in the room because it's too exhausting to keep her cooped up for three hours.

Ashtyn loves seeing all the pictures of Jesus and all the flowers. She loves the music ("mekik") and prayers. She loves that we let her walk from class to class and she loves the attention she gets from everyone (and believe me, she gets LOTS). She simply loves church and I love that, even if it's a lot more work with such a young child.

The Charly Book

For Valentine's Day, Benjamin gave me the perfect little gift. He had bought a little notebook from Amazon and named it his "Charly Book". It's like a little journal that he writes in, about our marriage and me and his thoughts. Then, I can read it whenever I want.

I really love it. Ben writes in sporadically, because that's his personality, and I check it pretty much every day, because that's my personality, but it's a really fun thing. I love hearing his thoughts, so him writing them down for me means a lot to me. There have also been times that I've been having a hard day or been feeling grumpy with him, but then I've gone to read his little entry. Reading his thoughts really softened my heart towards him and helped me see things from his perspective.

For example, there was a day I was struggling with hormones already. Ben was working a lot and I was feeling particularly sensitive about spending time with him. We weren't sure what to do after we put Ashtyn down, so we just watched a TV show and went to bed. I woke up the next morning and read what Ben had to say. He shared with me how he wanted to spend quality time with me, as well, and that watching TV didn't really do that for him. He wrote down some ideas for coming up with activities for us to do and it really helped my tender feelings. I loved knowing that he wanted to spend time with me as well.

I think this book was a really good idea of Ben's. I love hearing about the different, individualized ways husbands come up with to show their wives how much they love them. I know Ben does this for me often and I am really grateful for that.