I read a post the other day that made me so sad. It was about mothers who regret having children after having them. It broke my heart, for both the mothers and the children in the article. Someone commented on it, though, about each of us having different gifts and the love of motherhood was a gift she'd been given.
That really spoke to me, because I have the same gift. I love being a mother. I have always wanted to be a mom and even when it's hard, I don't regret having kids or having kids so early in our marriage. I have hard days and there are days (particularly when I don't get enough sleep because of children) where I tell Ben half seriously that we aren't having any more kids. But those times pass and I love the rest of it.
I love coloring with Ashtyn and having her grab my hand to bring me from the couch to play with her.
I love the way Parker's face lights up when she sees me, with a grin so big you wouldn't think it actually fits on her face.
I love hearing Ashtyn negotiate how many toys she can bring in the car and listen to her sing "Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, won't you shine down on me!" at the top of her lungs.
I love watching Parker try so hard to crawl and how much she loves being on the ground able to try to crawl now.
I love hearing everything that Ashtyn says (sometimes it is SO funny) and how much she loves Parker.
I love this time of year with kids. Ashtyn is only two and she already loves everything about Christmas. That makes me so happy. Making them happy is so easy, but it brings so much joy.
I really love everything. I love the big things, like watching them open birthday presents and get excited about every single one, and I love the quiet moments of snuggles that come throughout the day. I honestly wouldn't want to be doing anything else with my life.
I don't know the solution for the moms who regret it. Maybe they need to find a better balance in their life, maybe they need to learn contentment, maybe they really should never have had kids to begin with. I don't know. I just know that I would never trade being a mother for anything in the world--a career, more travel, more freedom. None of it would be worth missing out on what I have right now.
There are sacrifices that come with having children. Some are short term, while they are so little and need you for everything and some never go away. I've felt that and there have been times when I have wished to be free of the responsibility so Ben and I could spontaneously go to a movie or take a cruise whenever we wanted. I also know, though, that it's worth. I understand, down to my very core, that what I'm doing is the most important work out there. And I really, really love doing it.
And for that, I will be eternally grateful.
