There has been a lot of talk about whether homeschool should be preemptively banned or not (thanks a lot
lady from Harvard). Today I wanted to share why we are choosing homeschool over public education.
*Note: I am not against public education and I know many good people who have had public education their whole life (me included). But I do see the flaws in the system (not the teachers, etc. but the actual system itself). I have had many teachers who helped shape my life and I will forever be grateful to them for that. My mother is also a teacher and I know she makes a huge difference in the school system. Good teachers make a huge difference. But that doesn't mean the system itself isn't flawed, and good teachers understand that. I don't want to put my children in a system like that when I know I can offer a better alternative.
Here are the things I want to give my children that the school system doesn't support. As an engaged and caring parent, you can work on all of these things regardless of education choice. However, homeschooling gives me the freedom to do it in the way that I think is best, without me having to fight against the school system to do so.
Time to explore their own interests
One of my biggest problems with school is the opportunity cost. Eight hours is way too long for kids to be expected to sit, especially with recess time and breaks becoming shorter and shorter. On top of that, most schools still require homework (even in elementary school!) despite the fact that all the research shows that homework doesn't benefit kids at all.
On top of the pure time, which leaves very little time for everything else, school also requires students to be learning the things that
they feel are important (and they is usually some higher up, not the teacher, who decides on what is tested). This means kids get very little of their learning time to pursue what they are interested in.
Interest led learning helps kids engage, teaches them not only about multiple subjects without it being a chore for them but also helps them learn how to learn, and teaches them to be self motivated. It also helps them retain the natural love for learning that they are born with. When we force kids to spend hours a day learning about things that are not only unrelated to their lives but something they aren't even interested in, we aren't teaching them to be disciplined, we are teaching them that learning is not fun and something they have to do, something to be avoided. As they pursue things they are truly passionate about, we can introduce the tools of discipline to them. They can then learn the skills in connection with something they are passionate about, giving them the motivation to be disciplined themselves. It also introduces natural consequences when they aren't disciplined because they are truly disappointed that they didn't succeed (rather than disappointing a parent or teacher with a bad grade).
The drive to learn on their own
I touched on this in the last point, but I truly believe that the best way to motivate children is by letting them learn about things that they are interested in. As parents, Ben and I are very involved in our children's lives. We spend a lot of time with them and introduce them to a variety of subjects. As they show interest in a subject, we find ways to help facilitate their learning in that area.
One example of this was Ashtyn's recent interest in Perler Beads. She loved building with blocks and she loved drawing. Ben got graph paper and showed her how pixel art works (blocks are basically 3D pixel art). She loved it, so for Christmas, we looked for a craft that was similar to pixel art for her. We found Perler Beads and she loved them. She would spend hours everyday this last winter doing Perler beads, both with us and on her own.
She learned so much from it. She learned about shapes, grids (which is really helpful for math later on), colors and creativity. She improved her fine motor skills. She learned how to follow a pattern, how to market (she would sell her toys to buy more beads), how to add (as we added up her money), how to save her money, and how to be patient when something took a long time to make. Now she's moved on to other interests that are teaching her a lot as well, but I know that she is better for everything she learned from her Perler bead experience.
Studies show that when we are externally motivated, it actually takes away our internal motivations. So, let's say someone is paying you to read. You no longer want to read for the joy of reading, you begin to read solely for the pay, making it harder to enjoy books and making reading a chore. You then only read when someone is paying you, and won't do it for the joy of reading.
The public school system employs many external motivations to motivate students. This can take away the students' drive to learn on their own, making learning and reading something they only do "for school" or "for a grade" rather than a natural part of their life. It is also a contributing factor in why many adults do not continue their own education after high school or college and many adults don't read even one book a year.
The understanding that all learning is good-even math or whatever subject they aren't as naturally talented in
One thing that I came away from public school thinking was that I was bad at math. This wasn't a teacher's fault or because I actually was bad at math. It certainly wasn't my mom's fault (who teaches math!). It was because of the system. My test results in all subjects were always higher than average--except in math. Math was always my lowest test score. I also got bad grades in math due to not being able to do my times tables quickly enough (even though I knew them all) and then later because I wanted to read at home rather than doing math homework.
I know now that math is important and that I am able to learn the skills needed for math. For our kids, we won't test them on math or give them math worksheets, but we will help them learn math skills as our kids want to learn them (for what they are interested in, like programming video games or cooking) and will show them by example that math is important for both men and women to learn.
A growth mindset
A growth mindset (versus a fixed mindset) is one of the most important skills to have a successful life. It is the belief that you can improve through work, trying different methods, and asking for help when you need it. The biggest aspect of a growth mindset is understanding that mistakes are a good thing. Mistakes are how we learn!
Everything in the system from grades to tests counteracts this mindset. It teaches that you need to prove how smart you are, especially compared to other students. It teaches that if you get a bad grade, you aren't "smart" (not intentionally, but talk to most kids who get bad grades and they will tell you that's how they feel). It teaches that mistakes are bad and if you don't do it the "right" way, you will fail. In the public school system, children are almost constantly being evaluated, which is not an environment that fosters growth mindset.
At home, Ben and I can work on our own growth mindset, especially in relation to the way we see our kids, and foster an environment that promotes mistakes and trying things that are hard. We won't have to counteract the mindset they are getting from school or fight the system they are in to do so.
The ability to do their thing without comparing themselves to others
This is very much related to the last point. Comparison is all about proving whether you are above or below someone else. It is all about what you are right now, not the journey that you are on.
Kids are all on a different journey and are all on different places in different areas. So are adults! The school system encourages this comparison. It wants to place you somewhere. It wants to be able to say if you are "ahead" or "behind" or "right on track". But why do we allow these arbitrary measurements (and they are arbitrary, picked by people who don't know your child and that are often not research based) to make our kids feel like they don't measure up, or maybe even worse, that they are "better" than other kids.
It creates a fixed mindset. Those who feel they don't measure up give up and lose their love for learning because "they're not smart". Those who feel they are ahead of the curve kill themselves to stay ahead and continue to prove that they are smart, rather than focusing on learning. They too lose their love of learning.
You can never take away the desire to compare. It's a natural human instinct. But you can cultivate an environment that encourages creativity, making mistakes, and learning at your own pace. When you have an environment like that and are purposely teaching your kids in a way to discourage comparison they will be able to focus on learning and growing and just being themselves rather than constantly trying to prove themselves.
Time to have free play outside for hours
Like I said earlier, the time cost of school is one of it's biggest drawbacks in my opinion. Kids should have a minimum of 2 to 4 hours of free play outside per day. There are so many developmental benefits for kids being outside in a variety of environments. And kids learn SO much when they have time to do free play, without adults in their play. Most kids need 20 to 45 minutes before they really get into creative play, so having a minimum of 2 hours allows them to have plenty of that imaginative play. 30 minute recess doesn't cut it.
Also, this outside time is important for teenagers and adults too!
Time to read--both aloud with me and on their own
Again, with the time. Because it really is my biggest concern. Kids should be read aloud to for 30 minutes to 2 hours minimum per day. This obviously can be done with your kids in school (my mom did it!) but it's not as easy. When you homeschool, read aloud can be a natural part of your school day!
Another really important thing for kids to become avid readers is to have time to read and see adults they respect reading with them at the same time. This is something that I'm not in control of at school. They might get that. Their teacher might do silent reading time each day and might even sit down and read at the same time as them. But their teacher might not. When I'm their teacher, I'm in control of this.
I also want them to have the time to sit and read, if that's what they want to do with their day. I speak from personal experience that school can make it really hard to read as much as you want. Reading well bleeds into every other educational aspect and the more a child reads, the better they get at reading. Between school assignments (often below their level, because they are trying to teach so many kids at different levels) and homework, it really limits reading time. But kids need lots of time to read just for fun!
Time to spend with their family and their siblings
I know a lot of families who do public school (and I really look up to them and their mothers!) who really prioritize family time and are really close as a family. However, I also know that when you aren't away from each other for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, it's a lot easier to find time to spend together. And quantity time (in addition to quality time) is the best way to grow strong relationships.
Having school with siblings of different ages also has a lot of benefits that being around people of the same ages can't provide. They get to be taught by different people, teach younger siblings (which is the best way to learn), and learn to get along with people very different from them.
Time to do nothing
Okay, this is the last time one. But I think having time to do nothing is really important, as kids or as adults. But if your kid wakes up early, goes to school, comes home to do homework, has family dinner, then does even just one extra activity, when are they going to have time to do all the other important things (like explore their interests, read and be read aloud to, play outside, have free play, and spend time with family), much less have down time? On Saturdays? I don't know about you, but as an adult, I like to have time to myself each day where I'm not expected to do something. Once a week isn't enough for me and I don't think it is for my kids either.
The freedom to be creative
The way the school system is set up discourages creativity. Which makes sense, when you know that public schools were first created to train kids for factories. In school, kids are supposed to color in the lines. They are supposed to do things the way the teacher wants, or the administrator wants. With Common Core, it's not even enough to get the right answer anymore, they have to get the answer in the correct way as well. Heaven forbid the children get creative and problem solve themselves, rather than following the step by step guide handed to them.
I want my kids to learn to problem solve. I want them to understand the logic behind the math well enough that they could figure out a solution, even if their method isn't the "best" way. I want them to not be scared that they're going to come up with something dumb. They probably will! But they won't come up with something good until after they come up with some things that are dumb or don't work.
As an aspiring author, I remember when I was creative as a child. I remember not being worried about what other people thought or writing something dumb. As an adult, after years of public school, I'm having to relearn those things. I'm realizing that creativity is a skill and you have to risk yourself to do so. I know that I can relearn those skills and be an amazing author, but I don't want my kids to unlearn them in the first place.
The freedom to travel and do other activities outside of school work
One of the things Ben and I want to do is make travel a big part of our homeschool. We are already exposing our kids to different ideas, cultures, and people through books and we look forward to traveling with our kids to do that as well. School makes it harder to do so (not impossible, just harder).
I also want real world experiences to be a big part of my kids' education. Cooking, gardening, going to shows, visiting farms, going to museums. Schools have field trips like this, but because we have a more flexible schedule and less kids (meaning less expensive) we can do these sorts of things more often if we want to. It's all in our control.
The skills to have a healthy body
Most schools require kids to sit most of the day, for long stretches of time. Most schools have school lunches that are junk (they count jello as a fruit and tomato sauce on pizza as a vegetable). I want my kids to learn to sit still, but I will not require them to do so for hours. Not only is that bad for their bodies, it's actually against their nature! And for a reason. I want them to move and run and build their muscles. And I want them to spend a lot of time doing that.
I also want them to eat healthy. I want them to eat a balance of macro nutrients that have healthy ingredients in them. I don't mind them having treats sometimes, but when they eat at our house (not school), I get to decide what foods to offer them and it's easier for me (I don't have to worry about packing a lunch and everything that goes with that if I want to avoid school lunch).
And, having them home, I get to involve them in the preparing of the healthy food we're eating. This is true, of course, for kids who go to school. But when you homeschool, not only are there more opportunities for it (because they are there with you all day), but they also have more time (time is so huge!) to actually help with it.
The skill of being internally motivated
I talked about this a little already, but it's so important, I just wanted to touch on it one more time. Being internally motivated as an adult opens up a lot of doors. It gives you more options. It puts your life more in your control and helps you to always be bettering your life.
Public school teaches kids to be reliant on external motivations. Deadlines. Grades. Tests. Homework assignments. Everything they do and learn is graded in some way, taking away their chance to do things for the natural benefits.
But if kids grow a garden for fun, they get the benefits of working (which feels good) and the vegetables. If kids want to learn math so they can program a game, they get the benefit of the fun of making the game and the finished product at the end.
If kids are required to do math, they get the benefit of a good grade (which does feel good). But why would they ever do math again if a grade wasn't on the line? A person who is taught this way, unless they teach themselves to be internally motivated, will need to find a job that gives them those external motivations and probably won't do as well as if they knew how to motivate themselves without those external pressures.
Like I said at the beginning, I don't think public school is bad. We are all our own agents and kids can still choose to learn a lot in public school. As parents, too, we have a lot of influence over our kids whether we homeschool or choose to send our kids to public school. We can still cultivate a lot of these things and prioritize the most important things.
However, I know that if I sent my kids to public school, I would be fighting the system. I would be hoping for teachers that saw the good in my children and worked for the same educational goals I have. Sometimes I would get that! There are a lot of amazing teachers out there. But there would also be times I wouldn't get that. It's not in my control.
As I homeschool, I am in control of a lot more. I get to create the environment, the rules, and the expectations for my kids. I get to be right there to talk with them about ideas and problems as they come up. It is a lot of work to homeschool, but I see the benefits as far outweighing that work.
Plus, I get a front row seat as my children learn and grow, struggle and strive, and that is my favorite part of parenting to date.
