Every night after Ashtyn is ready for bed, we sit on her rocking chair and read together. Then I sing her a song and put her in her crib. We started this when she was really young, in the hopes of teaching her to fall asleep on her own and to stay asleep.
It seems to have worked, but now our bedtime routine is honestly one of my favorite parts of the day.
It's the one time Ashtyn will actually sit still with me and give me some snuggles. She loves books, but even when we're reading in the daytime, she is getting up and down and squirming and turning the pages backwards and throwing books all over the place. At bedtime, though, she just sits on my lap and turns the page when it's time and I get to hold her.
Then I sing and she sits still for that too (usually). I think it's just because we've done it so consistently as she's gotten older, she knows what to expect. There are other things in her routine that we miss sometimes (like brushing her teeth or cleaning her room), but I think I've only missed doing this maybe twice since we started.
Our new thing is to finish reading and I'll say to her, "Do you want to snuggle with Mommy now?" She immediately turns around, throws her little arms around my neck, and snuggles her cute little head on my shoulder. She'll stay that way while I sing to her and I just soak it in.
Yesterday, before I was even finished reading, she turned around to snuggle with me and then while I was singing, she kept popping her head up, giving me a kiss (saying "mwah!"), and then putting her head back down. We were giggling together and it was a take-a-picture-in-your-mind-and-remember-this-forever moment.
Ashtyn is such a little sweetheart and I am such a lucky mommy.
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Financial Break Down
Ben and I were talking today about money. We've been looking over his income from last year as we prepare for taxes and his business is really starting to grow. It's exciting, but it also brings a lot of thoughts with it.
One thing that's frustrating is, with moving and preparing for the new baby, our budget is suddenly higher each month. Our health insurance also went up fifty dollars with the new year, which is really frustrating. We want to keep our budget as low as possible, while we save up for our house, but since we're going to be here for another year, we don't want to live so minimally that it's miserable (which is one reason we're doubling our rent).
Here is a basic break down of our finances:
Ben brings in quite a bit with his business. We're very fortunate and Ben has a talent for marketing, so his business has done really well. He has a few places he gets money:
YouTube Ads: He teaches how to program computer games using an engine called GameMaker and puts out his videos for free. He gets about $300 a month from ads on that.
Patreon: Ben's YouTube channel is linked up with a website called Patreon. It's a place where people who like what you do can donate money monthly to help support you. The idea is their donation helps you keep doing what you're doing. This fluctuates around $400 a month.
GameMaker Book: Around when Ashtyn was born, Ben wrote a book on GameMaker Language and keeps it updated as he feels the need. It still brings in quite a bit of money, adding between $1500 and $2500 a month.
Contract work: Ben is working with a guy named Luke on a video game. He gets paid hourly to do this, in chunks of $1000, and when the game is finished, he'll also get profit sharing. It's been a really good learning experience for him and he has really enjoyed working with Luke.
Udemy: This is our biggest source of income. It's nice, too, because we can usually live off of everything else, so everything he makes from here goes to our house savings (after 30% for taxes). Udemy is a site that hosts online courses. Ben made his first course in July (but didn't get paid for that until September, since they pay two months off) and it has been really successful. It still sells well. We usually get between $4000 and $8,000 from it.
This month Ben just released a new course and it's also done really well. It made this month our best month income-wise half way through the month. After launch month (which is always really high) we expect it to add $1000 to $3000 a month.
We have been able o save a lot for our house. What we do each month is tweek our zero based budget for the month, transfer (from Ben's business account) what we need, calculate what we'll probably need for taxes and save a little extra for that, and then transfer the rest to our house savings.
Here's a basic break down of what a typical monthly budget looks like for us (updated for our new apartment, because we had a really good deal staying with Melissa):
Tithing: We pay ten percent of what we pay ourselves as well as what we put into house savings (since that's paying ourselves as well). We pay ten dollars a month in fast offerings and ten dollars a month to the missionary fund.
Rent: we pay $775 in rent, but it's a three bedroom, so we'll be able to write off the square footage of Ben's office come taxes next year. We also pay gas and electric and I expect those to be between $30 and $60 month.
Car: We budget between $20 and $60 a month for gas, depending on how often we go out to West Jordan to visit my family. We do oil changes twice a year and, of course, registration in the summer, but our car doesn't require too much upkeep thankfully.
New baby: We pay our midwife about $400 a month until May. We also budget to stock up on new baby items, around $20 or $30 a month, and we're budgeting extra in food (between $40 and $60) so I can start making freezer meals. We also budget $50 a month for my supplements while I'm pregnant.
Groceries: This is a big expense, even though I try to keep it down. I usually budget around $20 for nonfoods, things like food bags or toothpaste. I'm trying to move towards using reusable everything and making my own supplies (cleaning, toothpaste, etc).
We budget about $100 a month for Costco, where we buy things like coconut oil, olive oil, and maple syrup. We also buy toilet paper and Tide here (as well as diapers and wipes, but that's under our baby fund).
Our actual grocery bill is between $350 and $450 a month, depending on how many weeks I include in that month's budget. I would really like to bring it down, but we eat a lot of proteins like chicken and Greek yogurt and also buy a lot of produce. Before the month begins, I meal prep for the entire month. I then make a grocery list of exactly what we need and we decide our grocery budget from that. I use a few coupons and always check deals/my price lists of stores before shopping.
Baby: We have a separate budget for Ashtyn (and soon, the new baby). This includes diapers, wipes, baby clothes, baby toys, basically anything I want to buy for Ashtyn. It fluctuates a ton, depending on what we need. Diapers adds $40, wipes adds $20. I usually budget an extra $10 to $20 so I can get what I need when I need it for her.
Insurance: We pay $40 a month for car insurance, for Ben and I combined. For health insurance, I'm still on my parent's (luckily) until I'm too old. For Ben and Ashtyn, we have catastrophe insurance. Anything medical up to $15,000 we pay for it, but everything after that, the insurance pays a hundred percent. We basically have it so that if something horrible were to happen (like cancer), we wouldn't end up with millions in medical bills. We don't go to the doctor pretty much ever and we have enough in savings that if something were to happen (like, if Ashtyn broke her arm), we could pay for it with cash, so this isn't a big deal for us. It's $350 a month for the two of them. It's hard to pay that every month, but we know it's important to have it.
Fun money: We do have Netflix, which is about $10 a month for us. We also pay $15 a month for my phone plan (Ben paid for his phone plan all upfront for a better deal). We budget $50 a month for date night and then we pay ourselves $50 a month each as well, to do whatever we want with. We had actually put a pause on paying ourselves when we moved to Vernal, but when we decided to stay another year, we decided to start it up again.
We expect our total budget to usually come out around $2500. Before, it was between $1500 and $2000. But now we have an apartment and a new baby to prepare for.
We feel really fortunate for our income, Ben's job, my ability to stay home, and Dave Ramsey for helping us learn to budget our money. We feel really confident in our finances and know that we're on the right track things.
One thing that's frustrating is, with moving and preparing for the new baby, our budget is suddenly higher each month. Our health insurance also went up fifty dollars with the new year, which is really frustrating. We want to keep our budget as low as possible, while we save up for our house, but since we're going to be here for another year, we don't want to live so minimally that it's miserable (which is one reason we're doubling our rent).
Here is a basic break down of our finances:
Ben brings in quite a bit with his business. We're very fortunate and Ben has a talent for marketing, so his business has done really well. He has a few places he gets money:
YouTube Ads: He teaches how to program computer games using an engine called GameMaker and puts out his videos for free. He gets about $300 a month from ads on that.
Patreon: Ben's YouTube channel is linked up with a website called Patreon. It's a place where people who like what you do can donate money monthly to help support you. The idea is their donation helps you keep doing what you're doing. This fluctuates around $400 a month.
GameMaker Book: Around when Ashtyn was born, Ben wrote a book on GameMaker Language and keeps it updated as he feels the need. It still brings in quite a bit of money, adding between $1500 and $2500 a month.
Contract work: Ben is working with a guy named Luke on a video game. He gets paid hourly to do this, in chunks of $1000, and when the game is finished, he'll also get profit sharing. It's been a really good learning experience for him and he has really enjoyed working with Luke.
Udemy: This is our biggest source of income. It's nice, too, because we can usually live off of everything else, so everything he makes from here goes to our house savings (after 30% for taxes). Udemy is a site that hosts online courses. Ben made his first course in July (but didn't get paid for that until September, since they pay two months off) and it has been really successful. It still sells well. We usually get between $4000 and $8,000 from it.
This month Ben just released a new course and it's also done really well. It made this month our best month income-wise half way through the month. After launch month (which is always really high) we expect it to add $1000 to $3000 a month.
We have been able o save a lot for our house. What we do each month is tweek our zero based budget for the month, transfer (from Ben's business account) what we need, calculate what we'll probably need for taxes and save a little extra for that, and then transfer the rest to our house savings.
Here's a basic break down of what a typical monthly budget looks like for us (updated for our new apartment, because we had a really good deal staying with Melissa):
Tithing: We pay ten percent of what we pay ourselves as well as what we put into house savings (since that's paying ourselves as well). We pay ten dollars a month in fast offerings and ten dollars a month to the missionary fund.
Rent: we pay $775 in rent, but it's a three bedroom, so we'll be able to write off the square footage of Ben's office come taxes next year. We also pay gas and electric and I expect those to be between $30 and $60 month.
Car: We budget between $20 and $60 a month for gas, depending on how often we go out to West Jordan to visit my family. We do oil changes twice a year and, of course, registration in the summer, but our car doesn't require too much upkeep thankfully.
New baby: We pay our midwife about $400 a month until May. We also budget to stock up on new baby items, around $20 or $30 a month, and we're budgeting extra in food (between $40 and $60) so I can start making freezer meals. We also budget $50 a month for my supplements while I'm pregnant.
Groceries: This is a big expense, even though I try to keep it down. I usually budget around $20 for nonfoods, things like food bags or toothpaste. I'm trying to move towards using reusable everything and making my own supplies (cleaning, toothpaste, etc).
We budget about $100 a month for Costco, where we buy things like coconut oil, olive oil, and maple syrup. We also buy toilet paper and Tide here (as well as diapers and wipes, but that's under our baby fund).
Our actual grocery bill is between $350 and $450 a month, depending on how many weeks I include in that month's budget. I would really like to bring it down, but we eat a lot of proteins like chicken and Greek yogurt and also buy a lot of produce. Before the month begins, I meal prep for the entire month. I then make a grocery list of exactly what we need and we decide our grocery budget from that. I use a few coupons and always check deals/my price lists of stores before shopping.
Baby: We have a separate budget for Ashtyn (and soon, the new baby). This includes diapers, wipes, baby clothes, baby toys, basically anything I want to buy for Ashtyn. It fluctuates a ton, depending on what we need. Diapers adds $40, wipes adds $20. I usually budget an extra $10 to $20 so I can get what I need when I need it for her.
Insurance: We pay $40 a month for car insurance, for Ben and I combined. For health insurance, I'm still on my parent's (luckily) until I'm too old. For Ben and Ashtyn, we have catastrophe insurance. Anything medical up to $15,000 we pay for it, but everything after that, the insurance pays a hundred percent. We basically have it so that if something horrible were to happen (like cancer), we wouldn't end up with millions in medical bills. We don't go to the doctor pretty much ever and we have enough in savings that if something were to happen (like, if Ashtyn broke her arm), we could pay for it with cash, so this isn't a big deal for us. It's $350 a month for the two of them. It's hard to pay that every month, but we know it's important to have it.
Fun money: We do have Netflix, which is about $10 a month for us. We also pay $15 a month for my phone plan (Ben paid for his phone plan all upfront for a better deal). We budget $50 a month for date night and then we pay ourselves $50 a month each as well, to do whatever we want with. We had actually put a pause on paying ourselves when we moved to Vernal, but when we decided to stay another year, we decided to start it up again.
We expect our total budget to usually come out around $2500. Before, it was between $1500 and $2000. But now we have an apartment and a new baby to prepare for.
We feel really fortunate for our income, Ben's job, my ability to stay home, and Dave Ramsey for helping us learn to budget our money. We feel really confident in our finances and know that we're on the right track things.
Monday, January 25, 2016
Ashtyn's Signs
Ashtyn loves to sign. She loves watching signing time, she loves when we sign to her, and she loves trying new signs. She sure tries, but she can't quite get all of them and she almost always does every sign with both hands. It's really cute. Here are some of the signs she does.
Please. You rub your flat palm over your heart in a circle. She does with both hands and if it's something she really wants, she does it very enthusiastically.
More. You pinch your fingertips together on both hands and tap them together. She used to only use her pointer fingers (which is the sign for owie), which was really cute, but now she pushes her pointer finger and thumb together as hard as she can. It's super cute. She uses this one all the time.
Hat. You pat your head. She loves hats and she loves the sign for hat.
Bird. You put your hand in front of your mouth and make a beak with your fingers. Ashtyn does it with her hand facing her face (and sometimes even accidentally pokes her eye) but her attempt is really cute. Ashtyn really loves birds right now.
Flower. You pinch your fingertips together and bring them to your nose like you're smelling a flower. Ashtyn, again, does with her pointer finger and thumb pressed together, but it's cute. She also really loves flowers right now (I think mainly because she knows how to sign it).
All done. You turn both hands back and forth up in the air. She does this when she wants to be done with something (like if I'm clipping her nails or changing her diaper but am not actually finished yet) or mainly when she wants out of her chair.
Red. You use your pointer finger and draw it from your lips down your chin. I think red is her favorite color. She knows how to identify it and always does the sign when she sees it.
Green, yellow, blue, purple. You sign the first letter of the word and shake it. For all of these, she pinches her pointer finger and thumb together and shakes that. Sometimes she'll get closer on yellow or blue. Sometimes.
Orange. You squeeze your fist like you're squeezing an orange under your chin. This is for both the color and the fruit. She loves this one. Sometimes she'll do it when there isn't any orange around.
Apple. You bend your pointer finger and turn our knuckle on your chin. Ashtyn actually gets pretty close with this one. Whenever she sees an apple or a picture of an apple, she'll say it and sign it. She loves to eat whole apples and actually gets the majority of it eaten (over the course of a few hours).
Cheese. You rub your flat palms together. This is one of the first signs Ashtyn learned (and she's really good at it), because she loves, loves, loves cheese. We usually eat apples and cheese together as a snack.
Water. You sign W and tap it against your chin. She doesn't make the W, but she taps her hand against her chin and says a word that sort of sounds like water, so I almost always know what she means. She says it often and loves to drink water.
Bread. You make a fist and your other hand, flat, cuts the bread. Ashtyn doesn't quite get the mechanics of this one, but she loves to try. She does this the most often when we're in church waiting for the sacrament.
Baby. You cradle your arms and 'rock' the baby. This is one of Ashtyn's favorite signs (and words). She loves babies and baby dolls and pictures of babies. She does this sign all the time, even if there isn't actually a baby around.
Outside. You open and close your hand while moving it 'outside'. Ashtyn doesn't go outside tons right now, since it's freezing, but she loves looking out the window and when it was warm, she loved going outside (that was how Ben's dad got her to go to him at first). She's actually pretty good at signing this.
Hot. You cup your mouth, then turn your hand away. Ashtyn loves the sign for hot. She will stand in front of the stove at Ben's parents house and sign it over and over again. Anytime she sees steam or something similar to steam or sees me cooking, she'll sign it. She'll also do it when I give her food, whether it's hot or not. Sometimes when she first was learning it, we'd go outside and she'd sign it (she didn't know that cold was different than hot).
Cold. You make fists and shake your arms. Ashtyn also loves this one. Anytime we go outside, she signs it (I think because we taught her to, not because she's actually that cold). She does it sometimes with a closed fist and sometimes with her hands flat and open. Either way, it's cute.
Warm. You cup your hands over your mouth and then open your fingers. Ashtyn does this most often when standing in front of the heating vent.
Food/eat. You scrunch up your fingertips and mime like you're putting food in your mouth. Ashtyn usually does this only after I ask if she wants to eat or wants food. She gets really excited though. She loves eating.
One. Same as normal life, you hold up your pointer finger. Ashtyn can do one and five, but she can't get the numbers inbetween yet.
The letter O. You make an O with your hand. Ashtyn loves signing O, whenever she sees one. She scrunches up her hand into a fist, but it's close and really, really cute. She knows some other letters (A, B, D, H, K, M--sometimes, a lot of times, M is also W--, O, R, S, T, W, and Y), but other than signing B with me sometimes, she doesn't ever sign the others. She loves when I sign them though.
She also loves to copy new signs, especially while watching Signing Time in the morning. Some of her favorites are old, sports, football, ball, walk, and march.
I'm sure I'm missing some here. She's learning so fast and loves to move, including her hands. I think she makes up signs, because sometimes she'll do something that looks like a sign but I have no idea what it means. I really want to teach her more signs, especially for food and animals (food, so when she says please maybe I'll know what she means and animals because animals are her favorite thing). That means I'll have to learn them first, though.
It's really fun to be learning these and to see how much Ashtyn loves learning them. I know how good it is for kids to learn sign language, but I think it's also really good for the parents.
This is definitely something I want to keep doing with all our subsequent kids.
Please. You rub your flat palm over your heart in a circle. She does with both hands and if it's something she really wants, she does it very enthusiastically.
More. You pinch your fingertips together on both hands and tap them together. She used to only use her pointer fingers (which is the sign for owie), which was really cute, but now she pushes her pointer finger and thumb together as hard as she can. It's super cute. She uses this one all the time.
Hat. You pat your head. She loves hats and she loves the sign for hat.
Bird. You put your hand in front of your mouth and make a beak with your fingers. Ashtyn does it with her hand facing her face (and sometimes even accidentally pokes her eye) but her attempt is really cute. Ashtyn really loves birds right now.
Flower. You pinch your fingertips together and bring them to your nose like you're smelling a flower. Ashtyn, again, does with her pointer finger and thumb pressed together, but it's cute. She also really loves flowers right now (I think mainly because she knows how to sign it).
All done. You turn both hands back and forth up in the air. She does this when she wants to be done with something (like if I'm clipping her nails or changing her diaper but am not actually finished yet) or mainly when she wants out of her chair.
Red. You use your pointer finger and draw it from your lips down your chin. I think red is her favorite color. She knows how to identify it and always does the sign when she sees it.
Green, yellow, blue, purple. You sign the first letter of the word and shake it. For all of these, she pinches her pointer finger and thumb together and shakes that. Sometimes she'll get closer on yellow or blue. Sometimes.
Orange. You squeeze your fist like you're squeezing an orange under your chin. This is for both the color and the fruit. She loves this one. Sometimes she'll do it when there isn't any orange around.
Apple. You bend your pointer finger and turn our knuckle on your chin. Ashtyn actually gets pretty close with this one. Whenever she sees an apple or a picture of an apple, she'll say it and sign it. She loves to eat whole apples and actually gets the majority of it eaten (over the course of a few hours).
Cheese. You rub your flat palms together. This is one of the first signs Ashtyn learned (and she's really good at it), because she loves, loves, loves cheese. We usually eat apples and cheese together as a snack.
Water. You sign W and tap it against your chin. She doesn't make the W, but she taps her hand against her chin and says a word that sort of sounds like water, so I almost always know what she means. She says it often and loves to drink water.
Bread. You make a fist and your other hand, flat, cuts the bread. Ashtyn doesn't quite get the mechanics of this one, but she loves to try. She does this the most often when we're in church waiting for the sacrament.
Baby. You cradle your arms and 'rock' the baby. This is one of Ashtyn's favorite signs (and words). She loves babies and baby dolls and pictures of babies. She does this sign all the time, even if there isn't actually a baby around.
Outside. You open and close your hand while moving it 'outside'. Ashtyn doesn't go outside tons right now, since it's freezing, but she loves looking out the window and when it was warm, she loved going outside (that was how Ben's dad got her to go to him at first). She's actually pretty good at signing this.
Hot. You cup your mouth, then turn your hand away. Ashtyn loves the sign for hot. She will stand in front of the stove at Ben's parents house and sign it over and over again. Anytime she sees steam or something similar to steam or sees me cooking, she'll sign it. She'll also do it when I give her food, whether it's hot or not. Sometimes when she first was learning it, we'd go outside and she'd sign it (she didn't know that cold was different than hot).
Cold. You make fists and shake your arms. Ashtyn also loves this one. Anytime we go outside, she signs it (I think because we taught her to, not because she's actually that cold). She does it sometimes with a closed fist and sometimes with her hands flat and open. Either way, it's cute.
Warm. You cup your hands over your mouth and then open your fingers. Ashtyn does this most often when standing in front of the heating vent.
Food/eat. You scrunch up your fingertips and mime like you're putting food in your mouth. Ashtyn usually does this only after I ask if she wants to eat or wants food. She gets really excited though. She loves eating.
One. Same as normal life, you hold up your pointer finger. Ashtyn can do one and five, but she can't get the numbers inbetween yet.
The letter O. You make an O with your hand. Ashtyn loves signing O, whenever she sees one. She scrunches up her hand into a fist, but it's close and really, really cute. She knows some other letters (A, B, D, H, K, M--sometimes, a lot of times, M is also W--, O, R, S, T, W, and Y), but other than signing B with me sometimes, she doesn't ever sign the others. She loves when I sign them though.
She also loves to copy new signs, especially while watching Signing Time in the morning. Some of her favorites are old, sports, football, ball, walk, and march.
I'm sure I'm missing some here. She's learning so fast and loves to move, including her hands. I think she makes up signs, because sometimes she'll do something that looks like a sign but I have no idea what it means. I really want to teach her more signs, especially for food and animals (food, so when she says please maybe I'll know what she means and animals because animals are her favorite thing). That means I'll have to learn them first, though.
It's really fun to be learning these and to see how much Ashtyn loves learning them. I know how good it is for kids to learn sign language, but I think it's also really good for the parents.
This is definitely something I want to keep doing with all our subsequent kids.
Sunday, January 24, 2016
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
This month has been hard on me. I was expecting to move into our new apartment on the second of January and I had all sorts of plans and goals.
I wanted to go through all our stuff as we were moving and get rid of a bunch of it. I want to live a minimalist lifestyle, but I am the kind of person to hang onto things. I want to consciously change that and only keep in our home what we need and use. Our stuff is either packed in the underworld (which you have to crouch to get into) or packed in boxes for moving. This makes it difficult to go through everything systematically, not to mention I don't know yet for sure everything we'll need in our apartment or am able to find a home for everything. It all just goes in boxes right now.
I had all sorts of plans for grocery shopping, cooking, and food. They all involved systems and lists and things that I can't really do all the way while sharing a kitchen.
I have ideas for systems to keep our apartment cleaner and to have certain times I want it to be clean. But, sharing a kitchen and not having our own place makes those either harder or impossible as well.
I could go on and on, with goals for time spent with both Ben and Ashtyn, with crafts and projects I want to be working on, for organizing and time management, for exercise. But I'll just leave it with this. I had a lot I wanted to do, with the New Year, and it was frustrating to not be able to do everything I wanted to.
Really frustrating.
We couldn't move into our new apartment right away because there was a family living there. They could move into their new apartment on the fifteenth and then our landlords wanted to paint it before we moved in. I figured, a couple days for the other family to move, a couple days for the painting to be done and we'd be in.
Well, the Monday after the fifteenth, I talked with our landlady, because I really just wanted to know. She basically said the family wasn't our yet and she didn't know when they would be. They did know they were painting Saturday (yesterday), but she knew it would be ready by the first of February.
That was really hard for me. I was trying to be patient, but I'm done sharing a house with someone else. I am ready to move to our own place and every little thing about sharing a house, all those things that were fine and okay before, seemed to be a bigger deal. I really struggled with hard feelings towards the family that was moving out. I just didn't understand how it could take them so long to move.
Yesterday, though, we got a piece of good news.
Our landlady texted me and told me the apartment would be ready probably Tuesday or Wednesday! Meaning we can move in almost a week sooner than planned.
I am so happy. I mean, SO happy.
It truly is a light at the end of the tunnel for me right now.
I wanted to go through all our stuff as we were moving and get rid of a bunch of it. I want to live a minimalist lifestyle, but I am the kind of person to hang onto things. I want to consciously change that and only keep in our home what we need and use. Our stuff is either packed in the underworld (which you have to crouch to get into) or packed in boxes for moving. This makes it difficult to go through everything systematically, not to mention I don't know yet for sure everything we'll need in our apartment or am able to find a home for everything. It all just goes in boxes right now.
I had all sorts of plans for grocery shopping, cooking, and food. They all involved systems and lists and things that I can't really do all the way while sharing a kitchen.
I have ideas for systems to keep our apartment cleaner and to have certain times I want it to be clean. But, sharing a kitchen and not having our own place makes those either harder or impossible as well.
I could go on and on, with goals for time spent with both Ben and Ashtyn, with crafts and projects I want to be working on, for organizing and time management, for exercise. But I'll just leave it with this. I had a lot I wanted to do, with the New Year, and it was frustrating to not be able to do everything I wanted to.
Really frustrating.
We couldn't move into our new apartment right away because there was a family living there. They could move into their new apartment on the fifteenth and then our landlords wanted to paint it before we moved in. I figured, a couple days for the other family to move, a couple days for the painting to be done and we'd be in.
Well, the Monday after the fifteenth, I talked with our landlady, because I really just wanted to know. She basically said the family wasn't our yet and she didn't know when they would be. They did know they were painting Saturday (yesterday), but she knew it would be ready by the first of February.
That was really hard for me. I was trying to be patient, but I'm done sharing a house with someone else. I am ready to move to our own place and every little thing about sharing a house, all those things that were fine and okay before, seemed to be a bigger deal. I really struggled with hard feelings towards the family that was moving out. I just didn't understand how it could take them so long to move.
Yesterday, though, we got a piece of good news.
Our landlady texted me and told me the apartment would be ready probably Tuesday or Wednesday! Meaning we can move in almost a week sooner than planned.
I am so happy. I mean, SO happy.
It truly is a light at the end of the tunnel for me right now.
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Feeling Mom Guilt
Sometimes our kids do things or things happen and we feel guilty for it even though we shouldn't or even if we should, the best thing we could do is to move on and do better next time.
It's much easier said than done, though.
This happens to me sometimes when Ashtyn gets a diaper rash. Especially if it's a bad one. She might have messed her diaper right before her nap and slept in it, something I have no control over. Or I might just not have noticed until later. And sometimes I'll change it right away and she still gets a rash (I'm not sure how that works). But however it happens, it feels like my fault. I should have changed it sooner. I should have been paying closer attention. This is my job as a mom. And now she's in pain because I didn't do it right.
But of course, that's not how it works.
I've been thinking about this because yesterday we had our first really scary incident with Ashtyn. She is in a climbing phase and would climb up and down anything all day long. She loves to close the lid to her training potty (which she has purely to "get comfortable" with it, we're not even close to potty training), stand up on top of it, and dance.
She falls a lot, but since it's on carpet and she falls a lot even when she's on solid ground, we let her. It's harmless, I thought.
Well, yesterday she fell off it and it was a little too close to the bed. She hit her head on the sharp corner of the metal bed frame and got quite the gash in her eyebrow. It really scared me.
We stopped the little bit of bleeding and put a band aid with neosporin on it. She was tough and cried for maybe a minute (probably less) after hitting her head and then was totally calm while we did the band aid stuff. Then it was right back up on the training potty (moved safely away from the bed, of course) to dance some more.
For me, the rest of the evening was spent in stress. I was continually trying to keep Ashtyn from yanking her band aid off. Every time she fell or tumbled or tripped (which is all the time, she loves to move, but she's very fire-aim), my heart would sink into my stomach and I was worried she'd bump her cut. When I put her to bed, I kept worried she'd yank her band aid off and reopen the wound or that it would hurt her and she wouldn't sleep very well (she did wake up once in the night, but quieted down before I had a chance to go in to her).
But mostly, I felt guilty. I was the one who had let her dance up there even though she kept falling. I didn't check to make sure it was far enough away from stuff. And I wasn't watching her super closely either. It seemed like this cut was my fault.
Now, I know that's not true. We are very careful and diligent when it comes to Ashtyn's safety. I've watched numerous videos on how to properly buckle her into the car, I'm always trying to give her healthier food, and I always check for dangers wherever we go.
The honest truth is, though, no matter how vigilant you are, they always find something.
They find something to climb.
They find something small on the ground that you missed.
They find the one place that isn't very safe and play there.
They always find something and you just have to watch them. And when they get hurt, you help them feel better.
No need for mommy guilt.
It's much easier said than done, though.
This happens to me sometimes when Ashtyn gets a diaper rash. Especially if it's a bad one. She might have messed her diaper right before her nap and slept in it, something I have no control over. Or I might just not have noticed until later. And sometimes I'll change it right away and she still gets a rash (I'm not sure how that works). But however it happens, it feels like my fault. I should have changed it sooner. I should have been paying closer attention. This is my job as a mom. And now she's in pain because I didn't do it right.
But of course, that's not how it works.
I've been thinking about this because yesterday we had our first really scary incident with Ashtyn. She is in a climbing phase and would climb up and down anything all day long. She loves to close the lid to her training potty (which she has purely to "get comfortable" with it, we're not even close to potty training), stand up on top of it, and dance.
She falls a lot, but since it's on carpet and she falls a lot even when she's on solid ground, we let her. It's harmless, I thought.
Well, yesterday she fell off it and it was a little too close to the bed. She hit her head on the sharp corner of the metal bed frame and got quite the gash in her eyebrow. It really scared me.
We stopped the little bit of bleeding and put a band aid with neosporin on it. She was tough and cried for maybe a minute (probably less) after hitting her head and then was totally calm while we did the band aid stuff. Then it was right back up on the training potty (moved safely away from the bed, of course) to dance some more.
For me, the rest of the evening was spent in stress. I was continually trying to keep Ashtyn from yanking her band aid off. Every time she fell or tumbled or tripped (which is all the time, she loves to move, but she's very fire-aim), my heart would sink into my stomach and I was worried she'd bump her cut. When I put her to bed, I kept worried she'd yank her band aid off and reopen the wound or that it would hurt her and she wouldn't sleep very well (she did wake up once in the night, but quieted down before I had a chance to go in to her).
But mostly, I felt guilty. I was the one who had let her dance up there even though she kept falling. I didn't check to make sure it was far enough away from stuff. And I wasn't watching her super closely either. It seemed like this cut was my fault.
Now, I know that's not true. We are very careful and diligent when it comes to Ashtyn's safety. I've watched numerous videos on how to properly buckle her into the car, I'm always trying to give her healthier food, and I always check for dangers wherever we go.
The honest truth is, though, no matter how vigilant you are, they always find something.
They find something to climb.
They find something small on the ground that you missed.
They find the one place that isn't very safe and play there.
They always find something and you just have to watch them. And when they get hurt, you help them feel better.
No need for mommy guilt.
Friday, January 22, 2016
We're All Sick
It started with me. I had a terrible, terrible sore throat last week. I did everything I could to make it go away and it did, though it still hurts every morning when I wake up for about half an hour.
Ashtyn got a really runny rose about the time I got sick.
We seemed to be getting better, but then a few days ago, it suddenly got worse. Now Ben is getting sick too.
Ashtyn has a stuffy nose and every once in a while, she coughs this horrible sounding cough. It's so sad. Luckily, she's eating fine, is still happy, and is sleeping longer, actually.
Ben has a head ache, a scratchy throat, and a stuffy nose.
I have a horrible stuffy nose, the kind that makes your face hurt, and I think it's making me queasy.
Ashtyn seems to have a stuffy nose and that's it.
Now it's time to go into get-rid-of-these-colds-mode and go crazy with garlic, honey, and essential oils.
Hopefully it works quickly.
Ashtyn got a really runny rose about the time I got sick.
We seemed to be getting better, but then a few days ago, it suddenly got worse. Now Ben is getting sick too.
Ashtyn has a stuffy nose and every once in a while, she coughs this horrible sounding cough. It's so sad. Luckily, she's eating fine, is still happy, and is sleeping longer, actually.
Ben has a head ache, a scratchy throat, and a stuffy nose.
I have a horrible stuffy nose, the kind that makes your face hurt, and I think it's making me queasy.
Ashtyn seems to have a stuffy nose and that's it.
Now it's time to go into get-rid-of-these-colds-mode and go crazy with garlic, honey, and essential oils.
Hopefully it works quickly.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Cute Things Ashtyn Does
Put her stuffed animals or dolls on the rocking chair and then rock them.
Kiss her dolls or people and say "muah!"
Randomly come up and give you a hug, sometimes from behind.
When I exercise after she's awake, she either tries to do it with me or tries to use me as a jungle gym.
Empty boxes or buckets. And refill them. And empty them. And refill them.
Turn the TV on and off and on and off again. Because, buttons.
Sit and "read".
Babble, babble, babble, talk, talk, talk.
Squint her eyes and give you a huge, cheesy grin.
When she wants out of her high chair, she throws all her food on the ground and signs "done"!
Signing and saying please whenever she wants something. And let's be honest, she gets it, because that is too cute to say no to.
When about to do something she's not supposed to (grab my phone, play with the computer downstairs, etc.), she looks at it, looks at you, gives a mischievous grin, looks at it again, and then does it.
Dance, to music or the blender or any noise that might remotely resemble music. And you should see some of the dance moves she and Elizabeth come up with together, it's hilarious.
Go up to baby Thomas and give him hugs. Or go up to him and put her face right next to his and say "Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi," while he grins at her.
Touch your nose or eye or mouth and say what it is.
Try to find my belly button. Then pat my stomach, say baby, and lay her head on it.
Feel Daddy's whiskers, then try to feel my (nonexistent) whiskers.
Get excited to put on her socks or her boots. I bribe her to sit in my lap so I can get her dressed by telling her that I'll put her socks on.
Sign anything. And she signs all the time.
Say anything. And she talks all the time.
Run. And walk. And jump.
There are way too many things, because everything Ashtyn does is cute. I know I'm biased, but I honestly don't think there was ever a cuter little girl anywhere. I feel so lucky to get to spend so much time with her. She's growing up way too fast and there's nothing I can do about it. But honestly? I wouldn't want to do anything about it.
Because being here with her, while she's growing up, is probably the best thing in the world.
Kiss her dolls or people and say "muah!"
Randomly come up and give you a hug, sometimes from behind.
When I exercise after she's awake, she either tries to do it with me or tries to use me as a jungle gym.
Empty boxes or buckets. And refill them. And empty them. And refill them.
Turn the TV on and off and on and off again. Because, buttons.
Sit and "read".
Babble, babble, babble, talk, talk, talk.
Squint her eyes and give you a huge, cheesy grin.
When she wants out of her high chair, she throws all her food on the ground and signs "done"!
Signing and saying please whenever she wants something. And let's be honest, she gets it, because that is too cute to say no to.
When about to do something she's not supposed to (grab my phone, play with the computer downstairs, etc.), she looks at it, looks at you, gives a mischievous grin, looks at it again, and then does it.
Dance, to music or the blender or any noise that might remotely resemble music. And you should see some of the dance moves she and Elizabeth come up with together, it's hilarious.
Go up to baby Thomas and give him hugs. Or go up to him and put her face right next to his and say "Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi," while he grins at her.
Touch your nose or eye or mouth and say what it is.
Try to find my belly button. Then pat my stomach, say baby, and lay her head on it.
Feel Daddy's whiskers, then try to feel my (nonexistent) whiskers.
Get excited to put on her socks or her boots. I bribe her to sit in my lap so I can get her dressed by telling her that I'll put her socks on.
Sign anything. And she signs all the time.
Say anything. And she talks all the time.
Run. And walk. And jump.
There are way too many things, because everything Ashtyn does is cute. I know I'm biased, but I honestly don't think there was ever a cuter little girl anywhere. I feel so lucky to get to spend so much time with her. She's growing up way too fast and there's nothing I can do about it. But honestly? I wouldn't want to do anything about it.
Because being here with her, while she's growing up, is probably the best thing in the world.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Grace
Yesterday I was listening to the song Grace by Laura Story. A line in the song really hit home for me and how I've been feeling lately.
I think no matter where you are in life or what you do, everyone feels this way sometimes. It's hard not to see our faults and magnify them, letting them overtake our strengths. As a mother, it's especially hard, at least for me.
I don't spend enough time playing with Ashtyn.
I get upset with Ben over things that I shouldn't.
I'm not patient enough. I'm not kind enough. I don't serve others enough.
The list could go on and on. And sometimes it truly feels as though it does. I understand that I am doing the best I can. I try to rely on the Lord, I set goals to be better each day, and I'm doing things the way I should.
I just need to remember, God doesn't count our mistakes or our faults. He shows them to us so that He can help us become stronger and better. He's there to help us, all we need to do is turn to him.
Yes, someone else could do what I do, and do it better. But with God's help, I can do it. With His help.
I just need to remember.
At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged,
Knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
I don't spend enough time playing with Ashtyn.
I get upset with Ben over things that I shouldn't.
I'm not patient enough. I'm not kind enough. I don't serve others enough.
The list could go on and on. And sometimes it truly feels as though it does. I understand that I am doing the best I can. I try to rely on the Lord, I set goals to be better each day, and I'm doing things the way I should.
I just need to remember, God doesn't count our mistakes or our faults. He shows them to us so that He can help us become stronger and better. He's there to help us, all we need to do is turn to him.
Yes, someone else could do what I do, and do it better. But with God's help, I can do it. With His help.
I just need to remember.
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
The Joys of Television and Snuggling
One of Ben and my favorite things to do together is watch TV. I know, it's better to talk or do something active or blah blah blah, but honestly, if we had to choose, that's what we'd always do. Of course, we do other things and we have lots of time to talk (and lots to talk about). We just like snuggling together while we unwind and let our minds go.
This is something that started before we were even officially dating. We realized six months into dating that we'd never even gone to a movie theater together, and yet we'd spent hours upon hours watching television shows together.
For our honeymoon, we went on a cruise. It was fun to hang out on the ship, see the sights at all the stops, and we went to a few of the planned activities. Mostly, though, we just stayed in our room, doing what newlyweds do and watching the first season of Kora. We actually watched the entire first season during those five days of our honeymoon. And we loved it.
After we were married, that's what we continued to love to do together. If we wanted to avoid homework or just relax, we turned to Netflix. We'd go to church and then spend all of Sunday lazing around, watching TV and eating nachos. It was the perfect newlywed weekend.
After Ashtyn was born, watching TV got harder. Ben was really busy, working full time while going to school and working on his business part time and I was trying to finish school while taking care of a newborn full time. We were both tired and Ashtyn wasn't on any sort of schedule. We'd squeeze it in during her naps sometimes and as she started to get older, we tried watching while she was awake. That never really worked; she would cry and it would take two hours just to get through one episode.
Now, we just watch stuff when we put Ashtyn down to bed. We've learned that watching while she's awake is never a very plausible option. It's still fun, though, when we find a show we really like, to snuggle up together and watch it.
It took us awhile to find a show we both really liked again. We have overlapping taste in shows, but we also have our individual preferences that the other one doesn't share. Whenever we finish a show, it's always annoying to have to find a new one. A lot of shows out there either aren't interesting or cross our line of we-won't-watch-this.
Right now, we're watching Lie to Me. It's about a guy who works with the police and others to solve cases through the science of lie detection; he's really good at telling when people are lying. It's really interesting to us and right up our alley. When we finish, who knows what we'll do.
But for now, we'll just enjoy it together.
Monday, January 18, 2016
Saving Money on Groceries
I've been working on saving money on groceries basically since we started trying to budget about two years ago. Before that, I guess I was trying not to spend too much, but I didn't have a plan. Then we wrote out a budget and I realized how expensive food is.
This is what I've done already to save money:
Coupons
I have a coupon app on my phone (I think it's like Coupons.com or something) that I look through and "clip". Then I email them to my computer and print them, using them at Wal Mart.
I also use Smith's online coupons.
I don't use tons or save tons with coupons. I don't get things for free and I'm really careful to only get coupons for things that were on my list anyways. Most of the time, these are nonfood items, like make up or deodorant. I also can get almond milk or Annie's cracker coupons pretty often, as well as things like sour cream or cream cheese. It's a few dollars, but it feels worth the couple of minutes it takes me to scroll through the coupons each week.
Sale Prices
While I'm going through coupons, I also always look through the ads of the stores I'm going to. I sometimes price match at Wal Mart and I always buy produce according to what is on a good deal.
Price List
I recently put together price lists from the stores I shop at the most. This is helping me make sure I buy something at the best price, not just because it happens to be at the store I happen to be at. It also will be helpful as I do things like try to figure out if something is a good price at Costco, during a caselot sale, or just sales in general.
This is what I want to begin doing, especially as we get our new apartment and I can implement my food systems:
Meal Plan
This is something I've been doing recently, but I want to do better with it. I want to do my best not to plan so much food that we can't eat it all (which is something I do now; I have a tendency to get carried away planning). I also want to be really conscious about only buying food that I need for my meal plan.
Cut Back
There are foods that I can cut back on and make myself or simply do without. For example, I currently keep a bunch of crackers stocked up for Ashtyn. I don't think I need to do this (I'll probably keep some for church handy though). We also tend to buy a lot of healthy treats, from The Chalet here in Vernal. I want to cut back on that as well.
Use Reusable
This is something else I've been working on. I'm not taking a huge leap, because it's not in our budget, but I'm slowly replacing our disposable with reusable as much as possible. I want reusable snack bags and food bags, wool balls instead of dryer sheets, silicone mats instead of parchment paper, etc.
DIY
This is something else I've been working on for a while now. I am pretty good with using natural ingredients (like lemon juice, baking soda, and vinegar) to clean with, but I can do better. I know it's so much better for your family and house to do this, but it's way cheaper too.
I also recently discovered Swagbucks, which is a search engine (with other things as well) you can use to earn points in exchange for gift cards. A lot of bloggers I've read about have used this to get Amazon gift cards and then use Amazon Prime Pantry to save on groceries. I'm trying it out, though I'm a little cautious about it. I tried the whole get cash and gift cards in exchange for doing surveys and I found it to be waste of time. So far, I actually like Swagbucks. I won't make a ton from it, but I think I could five or ten dollars on Amazon per month with just a couple minutes a day on there. We'll see how it goes.
I really want to save as much as possible on groceries. Food is so expensive and cutting down on our expenses is the main way I contribute to our income. I think it just takes work and time to learn how to save on groceries
This is what I've done already to save money:
Coupons
I have a coupon app on my phone (I think it's like Coupons.com or something) that I look through and "clip". Then I email them to my computer and print them, using them at Wal Mart.
I also use Smith's online coupons.
I don't use tons or save tons with coupons. I don't get things for free and I'm really careful to only get coupons for things that were on my list anyways. Most of the time, these are nonfood items, like make up or deodorant. I also can get almond milk or Annie's cracker coupons pretty often, as well as things like sour cream or cream cheese. It's a few dollars, but it feels worth the couple of minutes it takes me to scroll through the coupons each week.
Sale Prices
While I'm going through coupons, I also always look through the ads of the stores I'm going to. I sometimes price match at Wal Mart and I always buy produce according to what is on a good deal.
Price List
I recently put together price lists from the stores I shop at the most. This is helping me make sure I buy something at the best price, not just because it happens to be at the store I happen to be at. It also will be helpful as I do things like try to figure out if something is a good price at Costco, during a caselot sale, or just sales in general.
This is what I want to begin doing, especially as we get our new apartment and I can implement my food systems:
Meal Plan
This is something I've been doing recently, but I want to do better with it. I want to do my best not to plan so much food that we can't eat it all (which is something I do now; I have a tendency to get carried away planning). I also want to be really conscious about only buying food that I need for my meal plan.
Cut Back
There are foods that I can cut back on and make myself or simply do without. For example, I currently keep a bunch of crackers stocked up for Ashtyn. I don't think I need to do this (I'll probably keep some for church handy though). We also tend to buy a lot of healthy treats, from The Chalet here in Vernal. I want to cut back on that as well.
Use Reusable
This is something else I've been working on. I'm not taking a huge leap, because it's not in our budget, but I'm slowly replacing our disposable with reusable as much as possible. I want reusable snack bags and food bags, wool balls instead of dryer sheets, silicone mats instead of parchment paper, etc.
DIY
This is something else I've been working on for a while now. I am pretty good with using natural ingredients (like lemon juice, baking soda, and vinegar) to clean with, but I can do better. I know it's so much better for your family and house to do this, but it's way cheaper too.
I also recently discovered Swagbucks, which is a search engine (with other things as well) you can use to earn points in exchange for gift cards. A lot of bloggers I've read about have used this to get Amazon gift cards and then use Amazon Prime Pantry to save on groceries. I'm trying it out, though I'm a little cautious about it. I tried the whole get cash and gift cards in exchange for doing surveys and I found it to be waste of time. So far, I actually like Swagbucks. I won't make a ton from it, but I think I could five or ten dollars on Amazon per month with just a couple minutes a day on there. We'll see how it goes.
I really want to save as much as possible on groceries. Food is so expensive and cutting down on our expenses is the main way I contribute to our income. I think it just takes work and time to learn how to save on groceries
Sunday, January 17, 2016
I Married an Entrepreneur
I love being a stay at home mom and homemaker. I love pretty much everything about it. I love the cleaning, the organizing, the planning, the cooking, the hanging out with Ashtyn. I don't mind changing stinky diapers or cleaning up throw up and I'm always reading on how to be better at everything I do. It's literally my full time job and I thrive on it. This is what I was born to be.
I think one of the reasons I can enjoy it so much, though, is because I still make time for my stuff. I wake up before Ashtyn to exercise and read my scriptures, then while she watches Signing Time, I get to write and read and do things for me. Starting my day off like that is huge for me. Then during her naps, I get to work on my writing or just relax and that's also really important.
While I love being a mom, I want my writing to be more than just a hobby. I want to make it into a business. Ben will bring in our main source of income and I don't want my writing to make us rich or anything, but I would love to be successful with it.
It's been discouraging the past little while. Ben's business is doing really well. He just launched a course on pixel art and we weren't sure how well it would do. It was priced a lot lower than his last one and is different than what he normally does (programming). It has far exceeded our expectations for launch month already and it has only been our about a week.
His success has been really fun, because his success is our family success. I've been really happy for him that his course is doing so well and the money side of it is really exciting as we're saving for a house.
His big success, however, seemed to put my own business (and how it isn't going anywhere currently) into a stark contrast for me. And I got really discouraged.
Luckily, I married Ben. When I talked with him about it, he reminded me that I'm only twenty three. I'm working on good content, I just haven't figured out how to reach my audience yet. And, as he pointed out, I haven't spent a lot of time yet trying to do that. We talked about some ways I could and I shared my thoughts on that with him. It left me feeling excited to move forward rather than stuck, which is exactly what I needed.
Moments like these remind me how glad I am that I married an entrepreneur.
I think one of the reasons I can enjoy it so much, though, is because I still make time for my stuff. I wake up before Ashtyn to exercise and read my scriptures, then while she watches Signing Time, I get to write and read and do things for me. Starting my day off like that is huge for me. Then during her naps, I get to work on my writing or just relax and that's also really important.
While I love being a mom, I want my writing to be more than just a hobby. I want to make it into a business. Ben will bring in our main source of income and I don't want my writing to make us rich or anything, but I would love to be successful with it.
It's been discouraging the past little while. Ben's business is doing really well. He just launched a course on pixel art and we weren't sure how well it would do. It was priced a lot lower than his last one and is different than what he normally does (programming). It has far exceeded our expectations for launch month already and it has only been our about a week.
His success has been really fun, because his success is our family success. I've been really happy for him that his course is doing so well and the money side of it is really exciting as we're saving for a house.
His big success, however, seemed to put my own business (and how it isn't going anywhere currently) into a stark contrast for me. And I got really discouraged.
Luckily, I married Ben. When I talked with him about it, he reminded me that I'm only twenty three. I'm working on good content, I just haven't figured out how to reach my audience yet. And, as he pointed out, I haven't spent a lot of time yet trying to do that. We talked about some ways I could and I shared my thoughts on that with him. It left me feeling excited to move forward rather than stuck, which is exactly what I needed.
Moments like these remind me how glad I am that I married an entrepreneur.
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Mom Sick versus Normal Sick
A couple days ago, I got a really, really bad sore throat. It was all swollen, I couldn't swallow or breath without it hurting, and eating/drinking were pretty much impossible. I felt horrible and all I wanted to do was sit in bed eating ice cream while watching TV.
But I'm a mom, so I didn't.
Instead, I got Ashtyn, got her food, got food for me, changed a messy diaper and gave her a bath. She made a mess in the tub, so I cleaned that up and got us more food. Then I sat and watched her play until lunch, when I got more food, and then her nap.
During her nap, I did get ice cream and TV. Then it was time to figure out dinner and entertain Ashtyn some more until we went through her bedtime routine and got her in bed. Then I got to go to sleep early too.
It got me thinking about when we're kids and we get sick. We get pampered and do get to lie around, eating what we can and watching movies all day. Then we get older, in college, and we have to do other things like write papers that are due in an hour or go to class because you don't want to fall behind. But, you get to decide and prioritize and if you're really feeling horrible, you can just sit around and do nothing all day.
Then you have kids and that all changes. Because they need you. They need you late at night and in the early mornings, even if you're tired. They need you to get them food when they need it, even if you're pregnant and starving and will get sick if you don't eat in the next two minutes. They need you when you have a headache or a sore throat or a stomach bug. It doesn't matter if you're feeling better than you have in weeks or worse than you have in years, they still need you.
As they grow older, this tends to slow down. And they stop needing you as much for physical things, like waking up at night to rock them, and more for emotional things, like staying up till all hours of the night talking with them.
But I don't think they ever stop needing you, no matter how you're feeling.
The thing is, though, as a mom, you don't really mind, even when you're tired or sick, because you love that they need you.
And you need them too.
But I'm a mom, so I didn't.
Instead, I got Ashtyn, got her food, got food for me, changed a messy diaper and gave her a bath. She made a mess in the tub, so I cleaned that up and got us more food. Then I sat and watched her play until lunch, when I got more food, and then her nap.
During her nap, I did get ice cream and TV. Then it was time to figure out dinner and entertain Ashtyn some more until we went through her bedtime routine and got her in bed. Then I got to go to sleep early too.
It got me thinking about when we're kids and we get sick. We get pampered and do get to lie around, eating what we can and watching movies all day. Then we get older, in college, and we have to do other things like write papers that are due in an hour or go to class because you don't want to fall behind. But, you get to decide and prioritize and if you're really feeling horrible, you can just sit around and do nothing all day.
Then you have kids and that all changes. Because they need you. They need you late at night and in the early mornings, even if you're tired. They need you to get them food when they need it, even if you're pregnant and starving and will get sick if you don't eat in the next two minutes. They need you when you have a headache or a sore throat or a stomach bug. It doesn't matter if you're feeling better than you have in weeks or worse than you have in years, they still need you.
As they grow older, this tends to slow down. And they stop needing you as much for physical things, like waking up at night to rock them, and more for emotional things, like staying up till all hours of the night talking with them.
But I don't think they ever stop needing you, no matter how you're feeling.
The thing is, though, as a mom, you don't really mind, even when you're tired or sick, because you love that they need you.
And you need them too.
Friday, January 15, 2016
Ashtyn's Newest Favorite Thing
This morning, Ashtyn was walking around our room, eating her little wake up snack. Dad was asleep still (or as asleep as you can be while Ashtyn's in the room) and I was making our grocery list.
Ashtyn found Dad's headphones on the bedside table and quickly grabbed them. She ran over to me, holding it up to her ear and saying, "please, please, please."
There's no real way to resist that, so I pulled her up, plugged them into my computer, and let her listen.
She loved it, putting the earbuds up to her ears, then mine, then Dad's.
It's her new favorite thing.
Ashtyn found Dad's headphones on the bedside table and quickly grabbed them. She ran over to me, holding it up to her ear and saying, "please, please, please."
There's no real way to resist that, so I pulled her up, plugged them into my computer, and let her listen.
She loved it, putting the earbuds up to her ears, then mine, then Dad's.
It's her new favorite thing.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
"Smone, Smone" (or Smoothie, Smoothie)
Yesterday, I was beginning to plan my meal prep for after the baby gets here. I was reading through the breakfasts I had written out, talking to Ashtyn while I was doing it.
" ... A month of smoothies prepped, that should be enough, right?" I asked her. She quickly looked up at me, excited.
"Smonie, smonie!" She said (saying smoothie for the first time). She got up, walked over to the door and pointed out, saying again, "Smonie, smonie."
I sighed, laughing. "Okay, I guess we can make a smoothie." I got up and took her downstairs and we made a smoothie together.
It's fun to watch as Ashtyn is continually learning words. Everyday, she repeats more and more of what we say and she's getting better at making it actually sound like the right word. She is continually learning more signs as well.
It's so fun and I know as she gets older, it will happen even more. I feel so blessed to be here with her while she's learning so much.
" ... A month of smoothies prepped, that should be enough, right?" I asked her. She quickly looked up at me, excited.
"Smonie, smonie!" She said (saying smoothie for the first time). She got up, walked over to the door and pointed out, saying again, "Smonie, smonie."
I sighed, laughing. "Okay, I guess we can make a smoothie." I got up and took her downstairs and we made a smoothie together.
It's fun to watch as Ashtyn is continually learning words. Everyday, she repeats more and more of what we say and she's getting better at making it actually sound like the right word. She is continually learning more signs as well.
It's so fun and I know as she gets older, it will happen even more. I feel so blessed to be here with her while she's learning so much.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
The Difficulty of Consistent Exercise
Because of dance (and other normal kid running around), I was always fairly consistent with being active and getting exercise growing up. As I got older and busier, it got harder, but I still had dance. I probably did the very best practicing dance/doing core workouts everyday my first year of college.
After I got married, I tried to continue this, but between school, work, and newlywed lazing around, it got harder. I continued to exercise, just not as consistently. That consistent thing would always get me.
Then I got pregnant with Ashtyn. I continued to go to dance, but practicing was really hard. I felt sick and tired all the time, but I didn't want to let my class down. I continued to dance almost five months into my pregnancy, until our big summer performance. Then I stopped dancing, knowing that Irish dance isn't the safest thing to continue your entire pregnancy. I tried to do other exercises, but I wasn't very motivated to do so. Between a very heavy workload with school, work, and all of the things I was already doing to prepare for labor and having Ashtyn after, it was easy to let exercise slide, having the extra excuse of "I'm pregnant, I have to be safe. I don't want to overdo it."
I let that excuse keep my exercises sessions wimpy and infrequent.
After Ashtyn was born, I waited the appropriate amount of time to let my body heal before trying to do anything very exerting. Then I tried to get back into a consistent exercise routine. It didn't happen. I tried for maybe a couple weeks and then just sort of gave up and let it slide. I also went back to dance, but quickly realized that going to dance was too much for me at the time and stopped after only a couple months.
A little while after we moved to Vernal, Ben's mom started a program called The 21 Day Fix Extreme. It combines half hour exercises with a clean eating nutrition program that tracks portion sizes. As she was doing it and telling us about how much she liked the program, I decided I wanted to try it. Ben agreed to do it with me.
We bought the program and followed it. We ate tons more vegetables and protein and cut down significantly on our carbs. We also followed their exercise program, Monday through Saturday. I could feel myself building muscle, though I didn't actually lose any weight. I also felt very good about eating so many vegetables and not wasting the produce I bought.
One of the first signs that I was pregnant this time around was that I couldn't wake up and exercise without eating first. I simply couldn't make it through the workouts like I could before. Then at week six of my pregnancy, I got sick. I could hardly eat anything, I had to force myself to eat anything at all. I lost eight pounds and didn't have the energy or motivation to even eat, but less exercise.
Thanksgiving day, I began feeling better. I could eat again. I remember how good the turkey smelled as it was baking all morning, something that hadn't happened for months. It was a Thanksgiving miracle to me that I could eat and enjoy Thanksgiving dinner. When we got back from visiting family, I spent a week eating and building my strength back up. I began doing little things, like ten knee push ups or a set of lunges, on my own to help myself ease back into being active.
The next week, I began doing the work out videos again. I didn't do them full out--I would only do one or two rounds or I would step the exercise instead of jumping it. It still really pushed me and I felt it was important to ease into getting back to where I was before the morning sickness.
My New Year's resolution this year was to work out four times a week every week (except the month or two right after having the baby, of course). My schedule is set up to do a workout Monday through Friday, but I did four in case I sleep in, am sick, or am travelling. I really want to hit this goal and be consistent for once.
Monday is plyo day, which I think means jumping day. It's mostly jumping squats and lunges. It's a hard day, but usually Monday I feel rested after the weekend and motivated to get exercising again.
Tuesday is upper fix day. This is basically arm day with a few ab exercises. This day isn't as hard, because it's mostly lifting weights. The push ups are the hardest part. I also modify some of her exercises, because I don't like them.
Wednesday is yoga day (if you are following the program, this is actually supposed to Pilates with yoga on Sunday; I don't actually like the Pilates video, though, and since I don't workout on Sunday, it is the perfect day to substitute). Yoga isn't easy, but it's the easiest out of the five days. I love yoga day.
Thursday is leg day. I hate this day. It's just as hard or harder than Monday, but it's Thursday. I'm getting tired of getting up and this workout really pushes me. The last round of the exercise isn't as hard, so I just tell myself that if I can make it past round three, I'm good to go. It usually works.
Friday is supposed to be cardio day, but I've substituted this for Saturday's workout, which they call the dirty 30. It's thirty minutes of some intense, one minute workouts. It's hard, but easier than leg days, so I don't usually mind it (especially once you get past the first round).
And then Saturday and Sunday, instead of getting up to exercise, I get to snuggle in bed with my husband. That's my reward for being consistent with my exercises the rest of the week.
It's the best reward anyone ever had for exercising.
After I got married, I tried to continue this, but between school, work, and newlywed lazing around, it got harder. I continued to exercise, just not as consistently. That consistent thing would always get me.
Then I got pregnant with Ashtyn. I continued to go to dance, but practicing was really hard. I felt sick and tired all the time, but I didn't want to let my class down. I continued to dance almost five months into my pregnancy, until our big summer performance. Then I stopped dancing, knowing that Irish dance isn't the safest thing to continue your entire pregnancy. I tried to do other exercises, but I wasn't very motivated to do so. Between a very heavy workload with school, work, and all of the things I was already doing to prepare for labor and having Ashtyn after, it was easy to let exercise slide, having the extra excuse of "I'm pregnant, I have to be safe. I don't want to overdo it."
I let that excuse keep my exercises sessions wimpy and infrequent.
After Ashtyn was born, I waited the appropriate amount of time to let my body heal before trying to do anything very exerting. Then I tried to get back into a consistent exercise routine. It didn't happen. I tried for maybe a couple weeks and then just sort of gave up and let it slide. I also went back to dance, but quickly realized that going to dance was too much for me at the time and stopped after only a couple months.
A little while after we moved to Vernal, Ben's mom started a program called The 21 Day Fix Extreme. It combines half hour exercises with a clean eating nutrition program that tracks portion sizes. As she was doing it and telling us about how much she liked the program, I decided I wanted to try it. Ben agreed to do it with me.
We bought the program and followed it. We ate tons more vegetables and protein and cut down significantly on our carbs. We also followed their exercise program, Monday through Saturday. I could feel myself building muscle, though I didn't actually lose any weight. I also felt very good about eating so many vegetables and not wasting the produce I bought.
One of the first signs that I was pregnant this time around was that I couldn't wake up and exercise without eating first. I simply couldn't make it through the workouts like I could before. Then at week six of my pregnancy, I got sick. I could hardly eat anything, I had to force myself to eat anything at all. I lost eight pounds and didn't have the energy or motivation to even eat, but less exercise.
Thanksgiving day, I began feeling better. I could eat again. I remember how good the turkey smelled as it was baking all morning, something that hadn't happened for months. It was a Thanksgiving miracle to me that I could eat and enjoy Thanksgiving dinner. When we got back from visiting family, I spent a week eating and building my strength back up. I began doing little things, like ten knee push ups or a set of lunges, on my own to help myself ease back into being active.
The next week, I began doing the work out videos again. I didn't do them full out--I would only do one or two rounds or I would step the exercise instead of jumping it. It still really pushed me and I felt it was important to ease into getting back to where I was before the morning sickness.
My New Year's resolution this year was to work out four times a week every week (except the month or two right after having the baby, of course). My schedule is set up to do a workout Monday through Friday, but I did four in case I sleep in, am sick, or am travelling. I really want to hit this goal and be consistent for once.
Monday is plyo day, which I think means jumping day. It's mostly jumping squats and lunges. It's a hard day, but usually Monday I feel rested after the weekend and motivated to get exercising again.
Tuesday is upper fix day. This is basically arm day with a few ab exercises. This day isn't as hard, because it's mostly lifting weights. The push ups are the hardest part. I also modify some of her exercises, because I don't like them.
Wednesday is yoga day (if you are following the program, this is actually supposed to Pilates with yoga on Sunday; I don't actually like the Pilates video, though, and since I don't workout on Sunday, it is the perfect day to substitute). Yoga isn't easy, but it's the easiest out of the five days. I love yoga day.
Thursday is leg day. I hate this day. It's just as hard or harder than Monday, but it's Thursday. I'm getting tired of getting up and this workout really pushes me. The last round of the exercise isn't as hard, so I just tell myself that if I can make it past round three, I'm good to go. It usually works.
Friday is supposed to be cardio day, but I've substituted this for Saturday's workout, which they call the dirty 30. It's thirty minutes of some intense, one minute workouts. It's hard, but easier than leg days, so I don't usually mind it (especially once you get past the first round).
And then Saturday and Sunday, instead of getting up to exercise, I get to snuggle in bed with my husband. That's my reward for being consistent with my exercises the rest of the week.
It's the best reward anyone ever had for exercising.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Things That Go Through a Mother's Head While Feeding Her Child
(Or at least, what goes through my head as I feed Ashtyn)
Are chocolate crackers an acceptable snack?
She's spitting the carrots out, but at least they're making it into her mouth, right?
Will my child choke on this raw broccoli?
How many crackers are too many?
How many grapes are too many?
How much cheese is too much?
She won't eat dinner. Here, have some bread. At least I know you aren't going hungry.
You can throw your food off your tray as much as you want, but you're staying in that chair until I finish my food too. *usually as I get her down from her chair two minutes later*
You can have as much water as you want, even if you have it from a bottle.
No you can't take crackers or cheese into the bath with you.
No, you can't pour your smoothie all over the carpet. Nice try though.
I'm *shopping, driving, writing, resting*, I guess you can have a treat.
*Right after giving her a treat* I probably need to cut down on her treats and snacks.
I'm going to prep cooked vegetables so I have that to give her quickly instead crackers. *Ha!*
Licorice root is good for you, so I'm not actually feeding her candy, right?
No, she can't have that *white flour, sugar, store bought ice cream* and yes, I will have a heart attack if you feed it to her.
It's okay that she's making a mess while eating that because I'm getting so much done. I just won't think about what it will take to clean that up when I finish.
I'm doing alright, right?
I think every mother goes through the worry that she's not feeding her children well enough or that they're not eating too much or that they're getting too much of something or the list goes on. It might just be how a mother is wired. I do think, though, that every mother knows her child and knows what her child needs.
We probably just worry about it too much. After all, they're surviving, right?
I'm doing alright, right?
I think every mother goes through the worry that she's not feeding her children well enough or that they're not eating too much or that they're getting too much of something or the list goes on. It might just be how a mother is wired. I do think, though, that every mother knows her child and knows what her child needs.
We probably just worry about it too much. After all, they're surviving, right?
Monday, January 11, 2016
Church with a Baby
Church with a baby is, in one word, exhausting.
Sometimes it almost seems pointless. You sit there in the meeting, trying to keep your child semi-contained, entertained, and as quiet as a child can possibly be for three hours. It involves snacks, which you try to keep as clean as possible, toys, and books as well as let them wander around for some of the meeting, meaning you don't get to just sit and stay in your chair.
Because church is three hours long, it almost inevitably throws off some sort of schedule, especially when they're little. Young babies simply can't go that long without sleeping, so you either have a nap-on-the-go or a really tired, cranky baby. There's food to give them, which when they're little means leaving the meeting to go nurse. This can be hard when you are trying to work around a calling or other children.
I'm really nervous and a little sad that Ashtyn is almost old enough to go to nursery. This is probably a fear that most parents have, but I'm worried she won't let me leave her there without screaming the whole time. She really likes toys, though, so she might be okay.
The funny thing is, the month that she's old enough to go to nursery is the month that I'm due. Which means, we get a break from one baby during Sunday school and Relief Society just in time to have another.
But honestly, I don't mind. Yeah, it's a lot of work and I don't always get as much out of the meetings. It truly is exhausting. But, this is why we're here. For our kids.
And I know there's nothing God would rather have me doing than chasing a baby around Relief Society.
Sometimes it almost seems pointless. You sit there in the meeting, trying to keep your child semi-contained, entertained, and as quiet as a child can possibly be for three hours. It involves snacks, which you try to keep as clean as possible, toys, and books as well as let them wander around for some of the meeting, meaning you don't get to just sit and stay in your chair.
Because church is three hours long, it almost inevitably throws off some sort of schedule, especially when they're little. Young babies simply can't go that long without sleeping, so you either have a nap-on-the-go or a really tired, cranky baby. There's food to give them, which when they're little means leaving the meeting to go nurse. This can be hard when you are trying to work around a calling or other children.
I'm really nervous and a little sad that Ashtyn is almost old enough to go to nursery. This is probably a fear that most parents have, but I'm worried she won't let me leave her there without screaming the whole time. She really likes toys, though, so she might be okay.
The funny thing is, the month that she's old enough to go to nursery is the month that I'm due. Which means, we get a break from one baby during Sunday school and Relief Society just in time to have another.
But honestly, I don't mind. Yeah, it's a lot of work and I don't always get as much out of the meetings. It truly is exhausting. But, this is why we're here. For our kids.
And I know there's nothing God would rather have me doing than chasing a baby around Relief Society.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
"Jesus, Jesus!"
As we're preparing to move, I've been making lists for what we're going to need. We've been sharing a lot of things with Melissa or just using hers (like hand soap in the bathroom or freezer bags), so when we get our own place, we're going to need to stock up on those things.
One thing I really want to get (but that we don't need) is a picture of Christ for Ashtyn's room. Right now, in the room she's in, Melissa has one hanging up and Ashtyn loves it. Almost inevitably, as I pull her out of her crib and she snuggles on my shoulder for a minute, she'll see the picture and say, "Jesus!"
I think it's so important for little kids to be surrounded by pictures and paintings of Christ and the temple. Growing up, my mom had many pictures of the gospel and the family around and I think it had a huge impact on the Spirit in our home.
I want the same environment for Ashtyn.
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Babble, Babble, Babble
Ashtyn is talking all the time and it's amazing how quickly she learns things.
She loves animals. She knows pretty much every animal there is and what sound they make. We're now working on teaching her the sings for each animal, which is working pretty well, since she also loves signing.
We've been trying for awhile now to teach her numbers, letters, and colors, but she's not as interested in those. She loves to play with the toys, but she doesn't seem to grasp the concept that each letter has a different name. She'll pick up a P and we'll say, "P!" Ashtyn then proceeds to pick up every letter and say "P!" until we tell her what her new letter is. Then every letter becomes that one. It's cute.
With colors, I think she knows yellow and red, but it can be hard to tell, because she likes to be silly. A lot of times when I'm showing her the colors, she just sits and babbles.
I was telling Ben about this, with Ashtyn sitting next to us, and I said, "She just babble, babble, babbles."
Ashtyn must have been paying attention because she then repeated, "Babble, babble, babble." Ben and I laughed and laughed. Ashtyn grinned, obviously pleased that she'd gotten that reaction out of us but unsure of why we were laughing so hard.
Now she'll walk around saying "babble" and it's pretty much the cutest thing ever.
She loves animals. She knows pretty much every animal there is and what sound they make. We're now working on teaching her the sings for each animal, which is working pretty well, since she also loves signing.
We've been trying for awhile now to teach her numbers, letters, and colors, but she's not as interested in those. She loves to play with the toys, but she doesn't seem to grasp the concept that each letter has a different name. She'll pick up a P and we'll say, "P!" Ashtyn then proceeds to pick up every letter and say "P!" until we tell her what her new letter is. Then every letter becomes that one. It's cute.
With colors, I think she knows yellow and red, but it can be hard to tell, because she likes to be silly. A lot of times when I'm showing her the colors, she just sits and babbles.
I was telling Ben about this, with Ashtyn sitting next to us, and I said, "She just babble, babble, babbles."
Ashtyn must have been paying attention because she then repeated, "Babble, babble, babble." Ben and I laughed and laughed. Ashtyn grinned, obviously pleased that she'd gotten that reaction out of us but unsure of why we were laughing so hard.
Now she'll walk around saying "babble" and it's pretty much the cutest thing ever.
Friday, January 8, 2016
My Heaven on Earth
I am a stressful person. I get stressed over little things easily and have no qualms about publicly showing that stress to anyone who might be around. I know letting the little things go is one of the secrets to having a happy life and I'm working on it, but until then, I try to remember all the little times in my life that are peaceful and happy.
Times like:
Waking up early. There's something so peaceful about being awake when everyone else in the house is asleep. I love getting up early while Ashtyn and Ben are asleep and getting some stuff done and, even though I'm busy doing stuff, it still relaxes me. It's one of my favorite parts of the day.
Down time with Ashtyn. As a mom (and I'm sure all mom's out there can relate), I feel really busy most of the time. There's always food to be made, housework to be done, organizing that never ends, more food to be made, errands to be run, business things to finish (for me, that's all the writing stuff I want to do), and food prep to be prepared. On top of that is your full time job of taking care of kids--make sure they're fed, help them learn to share, change their clothes for the third time that morning, baths and toys and fits to take care of. You have to make sure they don't stick their hand in the toilet while you're cleaning the bathroom and that they don't fall asleep on the way home from the store. I feel busy with Ashtyn and I only have one. I can't imagine what it will be like when we have six! But it all seems worth it during those times when we don't do anything but sit on the couch together and sing nursery rhymes or play tickle games or name our colors (and by that, I mean, I name our colors and Ashtyn babbles about them). It's so fun to just hang out with little ones, in those rare, we aren't doing anything important (but really the most important thing) moments.
Down time with Ben. If you think it's hard to find down time with Ashtyn, it can be harder with Ben. It's easier now that he's only working one job, but I'm still as busy as ever. We schedule times together (like right before bed and date night) that are just for us and I have to just let my to-do list go at those times. It's so nice to just relax together, though. It always leaves me feeling full to the brim.
Our car trips between Vernal and West Jordan. I have to admit, the trip is long and sometimes, it's hard to visit because of that. But every single time we're driving through the canyons, seeing the trees and the winding roads and just how beautiful nature is, I get an overwhelming sense of the Spirit. Ashtyn usually does really well, playing with her toys, eating her snacks, and (hopefully) sleeping some. That leaves Ben and I three hours of time to really slow down together. Some of my favorite memories with Benjamin since we've gotten married have come from our car trips. I love when we talk, listen to music, or play an audio book. I love how connected I feel to him as the peace of our surroundings enter the car and we don't have to worry about his business or making dinner or trying to get Ashtyn to bed on time. I always come out of the trip feeling just a little bit lighter.
These moments are small and simple, but they fill my life with so much joy. They remind me why I do what I do and really strengthen my testimony that we truly have a loving God watching over us. These moments, and many more, are when I catch glimpses of what heaven will be like.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
My Systems
I am a systems person. I love lists. I love organizing. I love schedules and routines. I am the kind of person who does the same thing at the same time pretty much every day.
I have a system for grocery shopping. Sunday is my day for organizing my lists and budgeting, so the first Sunday of the month, I make a monthly meal plan and then create a grocery list from that. I have a system of price lists from different stores, hoping to get the best deal. I try to get all my grocery shopping (minus weekly produce) in one day. I cut up produce while I'm putting it away and I have a spreadsheet of how to store the produce to keep it best longest as well.
On each following Sunday, I take inventory of our food. I make up a list of any produce we need for the following week and other staples (like, if we're low on eggs or milk). As we get closer to the end of the month and our grocery money starts getting low, we have to make do with what we have more. I love the beginning of the month when I have a fresh budget to work with!
I have a system for cleaning. I use an app called Quip and keep to-do lists. I have a list for each day of the week and as the day progresses, I can mark off each item. At the end of the day or week, I can unmark them all so the next week, I can start over. I have certain things, like making the bed or cleaning kitchen, on my list for everyday. Mondays, I get all the laundry through to the dryer and Tuesdays I fold it. I don't know if that system will continue to work as our family gets bigger, but I do a lot better getting it all done at once rather than chipping away at it constantly. Then I have bigger things, like washing the tub or cleaning out the fridge, on different days of the week. Things like vacuuming, I add to my list for the next day as needed.
Because of the recent focus on keeping the Sabbath holy, one thing I've done to help my Sunday seem more restful is to do a lot of my "Sunday work" on Saturday. I make food that can be made ahead (casseroles, crock pot meals, salads) and cut up any vegetables or fruits we will be eating the day before. I make sure to take all the trashes out, wash Ashtyn's hair, shower, clip Ashtyn's and my nails, pack the diaper bag for church, and make sure the house is clean before going to bed, including clearing out the dishwasher so we can load dishes on Sunday as needed with minimal work.
Sunday, I try to relax as much as possible. I don't worry too much about cleaning up after Ashtyn's toys or making sure the kitchen is super clean. I do try to make time for planning the next week (including budgeting, making grocery lists, looking through coupons, and setting goals), but that's actually relaxing to me. I also set aside time to write any letters or notes I want to. Mostly, it's a church and family day and does end up being a nice break (once church is over, church is exhausting with Ashtyn!).
I have a system for mornings. Ashtyn wakes up between 7:30 and 8, so I try to get as much done as possible before then. I wake up at six and do my half hour of Hypnobabies. Then I get lemon water and some food (a necessary addition to my schedule since becoming pregnant) and eat that while I study scriptures and write in my journal. If I can fit it in, I also do a lesson on Duolingo (I'm currently learning Portuguese, but it's way harder than Esperanto). At 7, I do my work out (I use the 21 Day Fix exercises. I love them because they seem really effective and are only a half hour, which is doable for my schedule). Then I get Ashtyn's snack ready, get myself ready for the day, take down any dishes and get more food and my prenatal tea. Usually about this time, Ashtyn wakes up or I need to wake her up, so I give her fruit and a healthier graham cracker while she watches signing time. This gives me time to finish getting ready, make the bed, write my blog post, and sit and read for a minute while I drink my tea.
Then Ashtyn and I make breakfast together and clean the kitchen. The kitchen is the hardest place in the house to keep clean and I could probably spend every second of my time trying to keep up with it. Instead, I try to thoroughly clean it once a day, after breakfast. I try to clear out the dishwasher as soon as it is finished so that dishes don't pile up in the sink and I make sure to run the dishwasher after dinner to keep our dishes under control.
After breakfast, I give Ashtyn her bath and get her ready for the day. One of my New Year's resolutions was to not check social media before breakfast, so this is when I usually do that as well. Then we're ready to run errands if we need, play together, or do "home school" with learning her letters or colors (she hasn't learned them yet, but we're trying).
Around noon, we make and eat lunch. Then it's Ashtyn's nap time, which gives me more free time. While she's sleeping, I work on my writing projects and building my business. This is also a New Year's resolution. For awhile, I was using her naps to make food, which was nice, but I wasn't getting in what I wanted for my own projects. I feel that I need to prioritize my writing and I do that by setting aside Ashtyn's nap time for it.
After her nap, we hang out. I do some cleaning and cooking, we make and eat dinner, and we usually turn on music to dance to. It's a more relaxed time, because I usually have most of my to-do list done and we just worry about dinner and sometimes visit Ben's family or spend time together.
Then it's Ashtyn's bedtime. I make sure she gets a snack, usually a banana or half a piece of bread. Then we give her a calcium supplement and brush her teeth. She loves everything about brushing her teeth, from the taste of the toothpaste to putting her toothbrush back in the drawer and closing it by herself. Then we get water, give Daddy a kiss, and go in her room. We change into pajama's, change her diaper, and clean up her room. We say a short prayer (because she LOVES folding her arms) and choose some books. After reading and singing to her, I put her in her crib and she snuggles with her stuffed animals. She almost always goes to sleep without fussing.
When she goes down, I get everything ready for the next morning (I fill up my water bottle, set out the weights for exercising, get all the food and supplement stuff set up), go through my to-do list for the next day (marking off anything I know I won't need to do and adding any extras that are specific to that week) and get ready for bed.
I have Ashtyn in bed my 8:30 and I try to be ready by 9. Then it's Ben and my time. We can snuggle, talk, play games, do language flashcards, watch TV, whatever we want. I like to be asleep by ten and fall asleep listening to my Hypnobabies affirmations.
I love my schedule and all my systems. I know it's very much a personality thing. There are principles of time management that I think work for everyone, but within those principles, everyone has a different way they figure out how to get what they feel they want to done. My routine is pretty flexible and I don't always get everything in. Some days are really busy (like grocery shopping days) and other days, I have a lot of down time.
I know that as we have our baby, my entire schedule is going to go out the window and we'll be in survival mode. As the baby gets older, I'll be able to start getting my systems back in place and it will get easier. I don't know what it will be like or how things will change as we add a house and even more kids (plus our other plans like traveling) to our lives.
What I do know is, I am a system person. As all these changes come along, I will find a system that works for our family and for me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
I have a system for grocery shopping. Sunday is my day for organizing my lists and budgeting, so the first Sunday of the month, I make a monthly meal plan and then create a grocery list from that. I have a system of price lists from different stores, hoping to get the best deal. I try to get all my grocery shopping (minus weekly produce) in one day. I cut up produce while I'm putting it away and I have a spreadsheet of how to store the produce to keep it best longest as well.
On each following Sunday, I take inventory of our food. I make up a list of any produce we need for the following week and other staples (like, if we're low on eggs or milk). As we get closer to the end of the month and our grocery money starts getting low, we have to make do with what we have more. I love the beginning of the month when I have a fresh budget to work with!
I have a system for cleaning. I use an app called Quip and keep to-do lists. I have a list for each day of the week and as the day progresses, I can mark off each item. At the end of the day or week, I can unmark them all so the next week, I can start over. I have certain things, like making the bed or cleaning kitchen, on my list for everyday. Mondays, I get all the laundry through to the dryer and Tuesdays I fold it. I don't know if that system will continue to work as our family gets bigger, but I do a lot better getting it all done at once rather than chipping away at it constantly. Then I have bigger things, like washing the tub or cleaning out the fridge, on different days of the week. Things like vacuuming, I add to my list for the next day as needed.
Because of the recent focus on keeping the Sabbath holy, one thing I've done to help my Sunday seem more restful is to do a lot of my "Sunday work" on Saturday. I make food that can be made ahead (casseroles, crock pot meals, salads) and cut up any vegetables or fruits we will be eating the day before. I make sure to take all the trashes out, wash Ashtyn's hair, shower, clip Ashtyn's and my nails, pack the diaper bag for church, and make sure the house is clean before going to bed, including clearing out the dishwasher so we can load dishes on Sunday as needed with minimal work.
Sunday, I try to relax as much as possible. I don't worry too much about cleaning up after Ashtyn's toys or making sure the kitchen is super clean. I do try to make time for planning the next week (including budgeting, making grocery lists, looking through coupons, and setting goals), but that's actually relaxing to me. I also set aside time to write any letters or notes I want to. Mostly, it's a church and family day and does end up being a nice break (once church is over, church is exhausting with Ashtyn!).
I have a system for mornings. Ashtyn wakes up between 7:30 and 8, so I try to get as much done as possible before then. I wake up at six and do my half hour of Hypnobabies. Then I get lemon water and some food (a necessary addition to my schedule since becoming pregnant) and eat that while I study scriptures and write in my journal. If I can fit it in, I also do a lesson on Duolingo (I'm currently learning Portuguese, but it's way harder than Esperanto). At 7, I do my work out (I use the 21 Day Fix exercises. I love them because they seem really effective and are only a half hour, which is doable for my schedule). Then I get Ashtyn's snack ready, get myself ready for the day, take down any dishes and get more food and my prenatal tea. Usually about this time, Ashtyn wakes up or I need to wake her up, so I give her fruit and a healthier graham cracker while she watches signing time. This gives me time to finish getting ready, make the bed, write my blog post, and sit and read for a minute while I drink my tea.
Then Ashtyn and I make breakfast together and clean the kitchen. The kitchen is the hardest place in the house to keep clean and I could probably spend every second of my time trying to keep up with it. Instead, I try to thoroughly clean it once a day, after breakfast. I try to clear out the dishwasher as soon as it is finished so that dishes don't pile up in the sink and I make sure to run the dishwasher after dinner to keep our dishes under control.
After breakfast, I give Ashtyn her bath and get her ready for the day. One of my New Year's resolutions was to not check social media before breakfast, so this is when I usually do that as well. Then we're ready to run errands if we need, play together, or do "home school" with learning her letters or colors (she hasn't learned them yet, but we're trying).
Around noon, we make and eat lunch. Then it's Ashtyn's nap time, which gives me more free time. While she's sleeping, I work on my writing projects and building my business. This is also a New Year's resolution. For awhile, I was using her naps to make food, which was nice, but I wasn't getting in what I wanted for my own projects. I feel that I need to prioritize my writing and I do that by setting aside Ashtyn's nap time for it.
After her nap, we hang out. I do some cleaning and cooking, we make and eat dinner, and we usually turn on music to dance to. It's a more relaxed time, because I usually have most of my to-do list done and we just worry about dinner and sometimes visit Ben's family or spend time together.
Then it's Ashtyn's bedtime. I make sure she gets a snack, usually a banana or half a piece of bread. Then we give her a calcium supplement and brush her teeth. She loves everything about brushing her teeth, from the taste of the toothpaste to putting her toothbrush back in the drawer and closing it by herself. Then we get water, give Daddy a kiss, and go in her room. We change into pajama's, change her diaper, and clean up her room. We say a short prayer (because she LOVES folding her arms) and choose some books. After reading and singing to her, I put her in her crib and she snuggles with her stuffed animals. She almost always goes to sleep without fussing.
When she goes down, I get everything ready for the next morning (I fill up my water bottle, set out the weights for exercising, get all the food and supplement stuff set up), go through my to-do list for the next day (marking off anything I know I won't need to do and adding any extras that are specific to that week) and get ready for bed.
I have Ashtyn in bed my 8:30 and I try to be ready by 9. Then it's Ben and my time. We can snuggle, talk, play games, do language flashcards, watch TV, whatever we want. I like to be asleep by ten and fall asleep listening to my Hypnobabies affirmations.
I love my schedule and all my systems. I know it's very much a personality thing. There are principles of time management that I think work for everyone, but within those principles, everyone has a different way they figure out how to get what they feel they want to done. My routine is pretty flexible and I don't always get everything in. Some days are really busy (like grocery shopping days) and other days, I have a lot of down time.
I know that as we have our baby, my entire schedule is going to go out the window and we'll be in survival mode. As the baby gets older, I'll be able to start getting my systems back in place and it will get easier. I don't know what it will be like or how things will change as we add a house and even more kids (plus our other plans like traveling) to our lives.
What I do know is, I am a system person. As all these changes come along, I will find a system that works for our family and for me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Hypnobabies: My Thoughts
This is my second time around doing Hypnobabies and I really love it. I used Hypnobabies with Ashtyn and I honestly don't know if I could have gotten through the labor without having done that. The thing that helped me the most was the focus on relaxing and the ability to do that.
However, I didn't use it enough, both prenatally and during labor, for it to be as effective for me as it is with others. I was really busy at the time trying to get school done before Ashtyn came and didn't put as much of a priority on practicing the techniques Hypnobabies teaches.
Hypnobabies can be really powerful if you put the work in and allow your mind to open about.
Hypnobabies teaches you how to relax your entire body and any part of your body. It teaches you to create natural anesthesia, which is basically just teaching your brain to keep the pain from transmitting. It works because your brain is so powerful.
The healthcare community actually uses this same technique for a lot of different procedures. They have specialists who work with children, especially, who needs to get a shot or go through a procedure. It helps them feel like they have a sense of control over a hard situation. I've also heard of dentists using it for people who are allergic to anesthesia.
I am really excited to see how well it works for me this time around, now that I'm putting more effort into it and also am more open to the idea of it helping.
However, I didn't use it enough, both prenatally and during labor, for it to be as effective for me as it is with others. I was really busy at the time trying to get school done before Ashtyn came and didn't put as much of a priority on practicing the techniques Hypnobabies teaches.
Hypnobabies can be really powerful if you put the work in and allow your mind to open about.
Hypnobabies teaches you how to relax your entire body and any part of your body. It teaches you to create natural anesthesia, which is basically just teaching your brain to keep the pain from transmitting. It works because your brain is so powerful.
The healthcare community actually uses this same technique for a lot of different procedures. They have specialists who work with children, especially, who needs to get a shot or go through a procedure. It helps them feel like they have a sense of control over a hard situation. I've also heard of dentists using it for people who are allergic to anesthesia.
I am really excited to see how well it works for me this time around, now that I'm putting more effort into it and also am more open to the idea of it helping.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Sharing a House: The Good and Bad
For the past seven months, we've been so blessed to stay with Ben's sister, Melissa. She and her husband own a house, but their family is still fairly small. When we moved in, they had a three-year-old toddler and now also have a five month old baby boy.
We've been staying in their upstairs, which has a very large room, which is Ben and my bedroom, living room, and Ben's office. There's plenty of space. There's also a bathroom and an additional room for Ashtyn. We share the kitchen with Melissa.
We feel both very blessed to have been able to stay here for so long and to be moving into our own apartment soon.
The good of sharing the house:
-Adam and Melissa are the perfect people to share a house with. They are accommodating and laid back. Melissa is always making food and treats for us to eat and we don't feel like invaders in their own home.
-I have someone to talk with during the day while Ben's working, without having to go anywhere at all. All I need to do it go downstairs and Melissa and I can sit and talk all we want (as long as our kids are playing nicely, ahem).
-I haven't had to make dinner or do the dishes everyday, because Melissa and I split the load. (On a side note, Benjamin does help with dishes a lot as well, both while we've been living here and when we weren't).
-We've been able to park in the garage, which was nice when it was hot outside and is especially nice with the snowy weather. When we move, we'll be parking outside again until we buy our own house.
-We have access to Melissa's deep freezer. This is really nice, because I like to put a lot of food in the freezer, especially since we're smoothie people.
-Our living space is really nice. They built their house only a few years ago, so we couldn't have asked for nicer living quarters. Our new apartment is really nice as well, though, as opposed to every other apartment we looked at, so we're excited for that.
-We're literally less than five minutes from Ben's parent's house as well.
-We were able to here while Adam has been traveling for work, which I think was nice for Melissa. We were also able to help right after she had her baby (though looking back, we probably could have helped quite a bit more).
-We're in the same ward as Melissa. She and I are visiting teaching partners and have the same visiting teachers, which is nice living in the same house.
-Our rent is ridiculously low. When we first moved in, while Ben was moving his business from part time to full time and our income was still a little lower, they let us stay here for free. Once we started paying, it was probably less than half of what we'd be paying somewhere else and that has been really helpful as we have been putting everything we could toward our house.
The ... harder parts:
-It's someone else's house. It's not my kitchen and I still don't always feel comfortable just making whatever because it's Melissa's kitchen and not mine. Melissa has been so nice about it, but that's just how it is, I think, when you live with someone else.
-Because it's not my house, I don't get to do things like organize it certain ways or use things like the washing machine just whenever. We've worked it out really well, but it's definitely something that makes me really excited to have my own home again.
-I don't have very much control over how much noise happens during Ashtyn's nap. Being in the upstairs, their isn't as much noise, but there are still things (such as the garage, the wheat grinder, laundry, chairs scraping, the three-year-old playing, the baby crying, etc) that make noise and have potential to wake Ashtyn up. I know this is something I just need to get used to, as we have more kids, but it will be nice to not need to worry about it for the few months between getting our own apartment and having the new baby.
-Because we're in the same ward, sacrament meeting can be harder with Ashtyn and Elizabeth wanting to play with each other and being quite loud.
-Elizabeth and Ashtyn sometimes play together really well, but most of the time, it's hard with our living arrangements. Anytime I want to do something downstairs and bring Ashtyn, Elizabeth doesn't want to share any of her toys, it's a pain to bring Ashtyn's toys up and down the stairs all the time, Ashtyn tends to screech at her (which is bad when Thomas is sleeping) and sometimes I feel like I just don't get anything done because I spend all my time down there mediating the two girls. It makes me feel like I can't just do stuff in the kitchen or get food whenever, but I really need to. This is probably the hardest part of living together for me.
I understand that when we have more kids, we'll have to work these sort of problems out as well, it's just a little different because they're not actually siblings. They don't have the same toys, so having them share can be difficult. I'm not Elizabeth's parent, so she doesn't respond to me the same. It's doesn't seem like a big difference, but I think it really makes a difference that they're not actually siblings.
While the pros outweigh the cons, we're still very excited to have our own place again. But even more excited for when we can finally buy our house!
We've been staying in their upstairs, which has a very large room, which is Ben and my bedroom, living room, and Ben's office. There's plenty of space. There's also a bathroom and an additional room for Ashtyn. We share the kitchen with Melissa.
We feel both very blessed to have been able to stay here for so long and to be moving into our own apartment soon.
The good of sharing the house:
-Adam and Melissa are the perfect people to share a house with. They are accommodating and laid back. Melissa is always making food and treats for us to eat and we don't feel like invaders in their own home.
-I have someone to talk with during the day while Ben's working, without having to go anywhere at all. All I need to do it go downstairs and Melissa and I can sit and talk all we want (as long as our kids are playing nicely, ahem).
-I haven't had to make dinner or do the dishes everyday, because Melissa and I split the load. (On a side note, Benjamin does help with dishes a lot as well, both while we've been living here and when we weren't).
-We've been able to park in the garage, which was nice when it was hot outside and is especially nice with the snowy weather. When we move, we'll be parking outside again until we buy our own house.
-We have access to Melissa's deep freezer. This is really nice, because I like to put a lot of food in the freezer, especially since we're smoothie people.
-Our living space is really nice. They built their house only a few years ago, so we couldn't have asked for nicer living quarters. Our new apartment is really nice as well, though, as opposed to every other apartment we looked at, so we're excited for that.
-We're literally less than five minutes from Ben's parent's house as well.
-We were able to here while Adam has been traveling for work, which I think was nice for Melissa. We were also able to help right after she had her baby (though looking back, we probably could have helped quite a bit more).
-We're in the same ward as Melissa. She and I are visiting teaching partners and have the same visiting teachers, which is nice living in the same house.
-Our rent is ridiculously low. When we first moved in, while Ben was moving his business from part time to full time and our income was still a little lower, they let us stay here for free. Once we started paying, it was probably less than half of what we'd be paying somewhere else and that has been really helpful as we have been putting everything we could toward our house.
The ... harder parts:
-It's someone else's house. It's not my kitchen and I still don't always feel comfortable just making whatever because it's Melissa's kitchen and not mine. Melissa has been so nice about it, but that's just how it is, I think, when you live with someone else.
-Because it's not my house, I don't get to do things like organize it certain ways or use things like the washing machine just whenever. We've worked it out really well, but it's definitely something that makes me really excited to have my own home again.
-I don't have very much control over how much noise happens during Ashtyn's nap. Being in the upstairs, their isn't as much noise, but there are still things (such as the garage, the wheat grinder, laundry, chairs scraping, the three-year-old playing, the baby crying, etc) that make noise and have potential to wake Ashtyn up. I know this is something I just need to get used to, as we have more kids, but it will be nice to not need to worry about it for the few months between getting our own apartment and having the new baby.
-Because we're in the same ward, sacrament meeting can be harder with Ashtyn and Elizabeth wanting to play with each other and being quite loud.
-Elizabeth and Ashtyn sometimes play together really well, but most of the time, it's hard with our living arrangements. Anytime I want to do something downstairs and bring Ashtyn, Elizabeth doesn't want to share any of her toys, it's a pain to bring Ashtyn's toys up and down the stairs all the time, Ashtyn tends to screech at her (which is bad when Thomas is sleeping) and sometimes I feel like I just don't get anything done because I spend all my time down there mediating the two girls. It makes me feel like I can't just do stuff in the kitchen or get food whenever, but I really need to. This is probably the hardest part of living together for me.
I understand that when we have more kids, we'll have to work these sort of problems out as well, it's just a little different because they're not actually siblings. They don't have the same toys, so having them share can be difficult. I'm not Elizabeth's parent, so she doesn't respond to me the same. It's doesn't seem like a big difference, but I think it really makes a difference that they're not actually siblings.
While the pros outweigh the cons, we're still very excited to have our own place again. But even more excited for when we can finally buy our house!
Monday, January 4, 2016
Stages: The Whining Stage
Ashtyn is in a whine/fit throwing stage. And it's getting real old real fast.
When she's frustrated because she can't get a toy to do what she wants, she whines.
When she wants me to do something, she whines.
When she drops something she's holding, she'll start whining and crying.
When she thinks I'm taking something away, she screeches.
When Elizabeth (her three-year-old cousin) does something she doesn't like (which is often), she screeches.
When we're in the car and she decides she's bored (usually about two minutes into any drive anywhere), she starts screeching as loud as she can.
When I say no (usually this happens if she wants up on the bed with me in the morning and I'm doing something she can't have), she throws a nice little fit.
We are doing our best to teach her to ask for things, because all the whining was literally driving me out of my mind. And it's working pretty well.
She knows please, both verbal and the sign, as well as more, food, water, and up (although she does mix up the words up and down sometimes). And most of the time, if she wants something, she'll say please first. If she really wants something, she says, "pease pease pease pease" and uses both hands to sign quite vigorously. It's too cute to resist.
She still whines sometimes and I have to remind her to say please. She also will sometimes start whining or screeching if I don't get whatever she wants (usually if she's screeching for it, it's food) fast enough. And I have no idea what to do about the car. We try to give her snacks and toys, but she honestly just hates being constrained.
And the fits? I figure, I'll say yes as often as possible, especially when she says "peeeease" in her darling little girl voice. But I guess she'll also learn at an early age that sometimes the answer is no and if she needs to throw a fit to deal with it, then for now, that's what we'll let her do.
After all, she's only one. We have plenty of time to teach her.
When she's frustrated because she can't get a toy to do what she wants, she whines.
When she wants me to do something, she whines.
When she drops something she's holding, she'll start whining and crying.
When she thinks I'm taking something away, she screeches.
When Elizabeth (her three-year-old cousin) does something she doesn't like (which is often), she screeches.
When we're in the car and she decides she's bored (usually about two minutes into any drive anywhere), she starts screeching as loud as she can.
When I say no (usually this happens if she wants up on the bed with me in the morning and I'm doing something she can't have), she throws a nice little fit.
We are doing our best to teach her to ask for things, because all the whining was literally driving me out of my mind. And it's working pretty well.
She knows please, both verbal and the sign, as well as more, food, water, and up (although she does mix up the words up and down sometimes). And most of the time, if she wants something, she'll say please first. If she really wants something, she says, "pease pease pease pease" and uses both hands to sign quite vigorously. It's too cute to resist.
She still whines sometimes and I have to remind her to say please. She also will sometimes start whining or screeching if I don't get whatever she wants (usually if she's screeching for it, it's food) fast enough. And I have no idea what to do about the car. We try to give her snacks and toys, but she honestly just hates being constrained.
And the fits? I figure, I'll say yes as often as possible, especially when she says "peeeease" in her darling little girl voice. But I guess she'll also learn at an early age that sometimes the answer is no and if she needs to throw a fit to deal with it, then for now, that's what we'll let her do.
After all, she's only one. We have plenty of time to teach her.
Sunday, January 3, 2016
The Perfect Apartment
This is a follow up to my previous post, about deciding last minute not to move into an apartment. I feel that finding our new apartment was somewhat of a miracle to us.
Here are some facts you should know:
Ben and I wanted something really nice.
We were supposed to move on the second of January. I really, really wanted to.
Currently, our room also doubles as our living room and as Ben's office.
Having his own office will make working for himself a lot easier and probably add to his productivity, increasing our income.
We share a kitchen. Melissa is so nice and hospitable and laid back and we couldn't ask for someone better to share a house with, but if you're a mom, you understand what it means when I say that for the last seven months, I haven't had my own kitchen.
I already packed all our stuff, except clothes and toothbrushes. We've been living out of boxes for the past few days.
So needless to say, we were very excited to be moving right now. We are very ready for our own place again (me for my own kitchen and Ben for his own office, especially). So when our moving date didn't work out, I was bound and determined to find an apartment we could move into as soon as possible.
In Vernal, I didn't think that would be too hard. Because Vernal's economy depends so much on the oil fields and because the oil fields are currently way slow, all the apartment buildings we've looked at have been half empty and the prices are definitely 'renters' market' prices.
I was searching and searching online. I found a few that seemed to be viable options, though of course, not perfect apartments.
I was scrolling through and saw KSL. I checked KSL a few months back, when we were toying with the idea of moving, and there wasn't anything in Vernal posted. Since then, I hadn't gone back. Desperate, or maybe prompted, I clicked it open.
I put in our maximum price and that we wanted a dishwasher (you'd be surprised how many apartments don't actually have a dishwasher) and washer/dryer hookups.
Only one apartment came up.
The owner had posted it three days before. It was $25 less than what we were going to pay at the previous apartment and the outside picture looked really nice. Trying not to get too excited, I opened it up to an new page.
I clicked through the pictures, very impressed with how it looked. I scrolled down to read what they said and started getting really excited.
"Ben," I said. I was sitting on the bed, Ben at his desk. "Come look at this apartment. I looks really nice."
He came and knelt by the bed, turning my computer so he could look. I watched his face as he flipped through. I could tell he was impressed. "Wow," he said, obviously surprised, "these look really nice."
"I know," I said, grinning. "I'll call them right now."
The next day, we set up an appointment to go look at them. They were just as nice as they had looked in the pictures and we fell in love instantly. We hadn't even left the apartment before we agreed that these were what we wanted.
The catch? We can't move in until February 1st. An entire month before we can move.
But, we feel it's worth. I know that the Lord has a hand in our lives, even with things like finding an apartment. The fact that we found these perfect-for-us apartments at just the right time is amazing to me.
So, I guess maybe we can be patient for another month or so.
Here are some facts you should know:
Ben and I wanted something really nice.
We were supposed to move on the second of January. I really, really wanted to.
Currently, our room also doubles as our living room and as Ben's office.
Having his own office will make working for himself a lot easier and probably add to his productivity, increasing our income.
We share a kitchen. Melissa is so nice and hospitable and laid back and we couldn't ask for someone better to share a house with, but if you're a mom, you understand what it means when I say that for the last seven months, I haven't had my own kitchen.
I already packed all our stuff, except clothes and toothbrushes. We've been living out of boxes for the past few days.
So needless to say, we were very excited to be moving right now. We are very ready for our own place again (me for my own kitchen and Ben for his own office, especially). So when our moving date didn't work out, I was bound and determined to find an apartment we could move into as soon as possible.
In Vernal, I didn't think that would be too hard. Because Vernal's economy depends so much on the oil fields and because the oil fields are currently way slow, all the apartment buildings we've looked at have been half empty and the prices are definitely 'renters' market' prices.
I was searching and searching online. I found a few that seemed to be viable options, though of course, not perfect apartments.
I was scrolling through and saw KSL. I checked KSL a few months back, when we were toying with the idea of moving, and there wasn't anything in Vernal posted. Since then, I hadn't gone back. Desperate, or maybe prompted, I clicked it open.
I put in our maximum price and that we wanted a dishwasher (you'd be surprised how many apartments don't actually have a dishwasher) and washer/dryer hookups.
Only one apartment came up.
The owner had posted it three days before. It was $25 less than what we were going to pay at the previous apartment and the outside picture looked really nice. Trying not to get too excited, I opened it up to an new page.
I clicked through the pictures, very impressed with how it looked. I scrolled down to read what they said and started getting really excited.
"Ben," I said. I was sitting on the bed, Ben at his desk. "Come look at this apartment. I looks really nice."
He came and knelt by the bed, turning my computer so he could look. I watched his face as he flipped through. I could tell he was impressed. "Wow," he said, obviously surprised, "these look really nice."
"I know," I said, grinning. "I'll call them right now."
The next day, we set up an appointment to go look at them. They were just as nice as they had looked in the pictures and we fell in love instantly. We hadn't even left the apartment before we agreed that these were what we wanted.
The catch? We can't move in until February 1st. An entire month before we can move.
But, we feel it's worth. I know that the Lord has a hand in our lives, even with things like finding an apartment. The fact that we found these perfect-for-us apartments at just the right time is amazing to me.
So, I guess maybe we can be patient for another month or so.
Saturday, January 2, 2016
The Saving Difference
Ben and I definitely have different approaches to situations. He's very patient, I'm very much a just-jump-in (you could say, impatient). Ben really likes to step back and think and I very much like to just jump right in.
I love that in marriage, it's so easy to see how your differences complement each other and work together to make life better.
Yesterday, this was painfully obvious to us.
For the past seven months, we've been blessed to stay with Ben's sister in her upstairs. While it's had its challenges (living with anyone, even your spouse, does), it's been a huge blessing, in more ways than financial. We feel so grateful for their hospitality.
With the upcoming new addition to our family, however, we've realized it's time for us to get our own place again and have been apartment shopping for a little over a month.
Because we want to stay with the midwife we've found in Vernal, that's where we've been looking. And I have to say, it's been a little rough. None of the apartments we looked at were quite what we were wanting. Some of them were so bad, we left thinking, we would never live there.
Then we found what I thought was the perfect apartment. I loved the kitchen. It had a pantry. I loved how open it was. I loved the glass door to the kitchen. I loved the layout, that Ashtyn's room was away from the bathroom so I could shower while she was sleeping. It had three bedrooms, so Ben could have his own office.
I thought it was perfect. I fell in love on the spot and immediately got the ball rolling so we could move in.
Ben, however, wasn't so sure. He wanted to keep looking. We didn't want to move in until the new year anyway, so I agreed. We looked at a couple more and almost changed our minds, but we ended up deciding to move into my apartment.
I was so excited.
I packed everything I thought we wouldn't need before we left town for Christmas. When we got back, I packed everything else except clothes and our toothbrushes. I printed off the lease agreement and we both signed it. We got the information for payment and told everyone when we were moving so they could come help.
Today was the day we were going to move.
I was stoked. Ben was excited too, to have our own place again. He just had a nagging feeling about the apartment.
So, he asked if we could take another look at the apartment, before we moved in. We still had the lease agreement, so we weren't locked in. Yesterday, we drove over during Ashtyn's nap and walked through it again.
It was nice, but not as nice as we had remembered. And we noticed quite a few things that we didn't actually like. We talked with the lady who lived upstairs and she brought up a few things we hadn't realized that were deal breakers for us.
We left, both of us knowing, that apartment wasn't what we wanted.
It was very disappointing and emotional for me. I was so sad the apartment wasn't what I had thought, or remembered. And I really just want to move. Not moving today changed all my plans and that's never an easy thing.
But, I feel so grateful that we didn't just jump into something we were going to regret later. It's like Ben said, when we were talking about it later, if it were up to him, we'd never get into an apartment. If it were up to me, we'd end up somewhere we didn't really want to be. But working together, we're able to find and move into the perfect apartment for us.
We are currently trying to find an apartment we can move into as soon as possible (because, remember, all our stuff is already packed) but we will hold out until we find the apartment.
And you know what? It's looking quite hopeful at the moment.
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