A Christmas Thought

One of my favorite parts of Christmas since having kids is singing Christmas hymns to them before bedtime. This is especially true of Silent Night. Holding a baby, singing that song at Christmas time, brings me such an overwhelming feeling of peace. 

Last night, I was holding Rylee and she was laying on my shoulder. I was singing Silent Night, my favorite Christmas song, and feeling so grateful. 

As she lay on me, I thought about two years ago at Christmas time. I had just found out that I was pregnant with really. She was a surprise and neither Ben nor I were thrilled with the timing. We were moving, it was Christmas, and we had a cruise we had been planning on taking before having our next baby. 

Yet, there I was, pregnant and very, very sick. So sick that I simply couldn't enjoy Christmas. We did the minimum--set up the tree, wrap presents. We didn't do any of our other traditions. I didn't put up any other decorations. I felt miserable and couldn't really enjoy the Christmas season. 

The worst for me, though, was how horrible I felt while singing to the girls at night. I would hold them close and sing the same songs, but instead of peace, I just felt sick. Instead of loving Christmas and snuggling, I just wanted to finish getting them in bed so I could go rest. 

At the time, it was a really hard thing for me. It felt like a huge sacrifice. 

Now, I'm so grateful for that sacrifice and every other sacrifice I've made as a mother. I'm grateful for the pregnancy discomfort and the labor pains. I'm grateful for the sleepless nights and the nights spent cleaning up throw up. I'm grateful for the monotonous day in and day out that comes with having three such little kids. Even now, when I'm in the midst of it. 

Holding Rylee close, I couldn't help but think of those sacrifices and how grateful I am for each of my three daughters. And I thought of my Savior. 

My Savior, who sacrificed for me. 

I'm so grateful for motherhood. It has made me more like the Savior than I thought was possible. And I know that I have a long way to go. But I'm sure that motherhood never stops stretching, and I know that as I turn to my Heavenly Father and strive to be a Christlike mother, they will strengthen me in ways I can't even imagine now. 

I'm so glad we have Christmas, so we can remember the Savior. I'm so grateful for my kids, and that I can share Christmas magic with them. And I'm so grateful for the help I've received, the strength I've been given, in my journey as a mother.