Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie
This was a for-fun book. In December, I read this book called The Woman on the Orient Express. It was a historical fiction about Agatha's life right after her divorce, as she traveled on the Orient Express and was given the inspiration for some of her novels, including Murder on the Orient Express, which really made me want to read it. Then, my brother got it for me for Christmas (without even knowing!). I finished up some of the nonfiction in January and was able to read this one. I really enjoyed it. I want to read more Agatha Christie books.
The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
This is a pretty famous book. The "hold it in your hands and if it doesn't give you joy, get rid of it," book. The KonMari method, the one where you fold the shirts the one way. I've been into watching decluttering and organizing videos on YouTube lately and everyone talks about this book and how much they like it, so I thought I'd give it a try.
To be honest, I didn't like it. First of all, she is wacky. Seriously. She treats and talks to stuff like it's alive, a person. I'm dead serious. She thinks you should empty out your purse every night because it's been working so hard carrying your stuff around for you all day and deserves a break. She says that in the book. And it's a common theme throughout the book. I couldn't get past that plus the fact that she talked on and on and kept repeating herself. I think her book could have literally been half as long as it was, which felt like an annoying waste of time when I was reading it.
However, I did get some stuff out of it. One thing I liked was her focus on getting rid of stuff in one fell swoop before putting away anything or trying to organize. I am a big believer in owning less stuff (though I am a natural collector/hoarder, so it's a work in progress). But reading her book did motivate me to go through our house and make a DI run.
One concept that was common throughout the book was the idea of only keeping things that you like (that bring you joy). I like the intentionality of that. I applied this specifically to our books. I love books and reading and want my kids to grow up to be the same, so I collect books. However, after reading this book (and watching some stuff on twaddle--more on that next month, though, since I'm currently reading a book called The Twaddle Free Education), I decided I had some books that I really didn't like. I'm not going to purge my collection down to 50 books or something, because I love books. I like the ownership. That doesn't mean I should keep a book just because it's a book, though. I should only keep books that I really like, that I really want my kids to grow up reading. So, because of this book, I went through our children's books and got rid of any I didn't actually want but was holding onto because they were books. And I actually got rid of quite a few. Now it's easier to find the books we actually enjoy!
The Read-a-Loud Handbook by Jim Trelease
So this was actually a reread. I read this during the summer and absolutely loved it. I think every parent should be required to read this. I have been working on getting a homeschool blog going and this book was very applicable to that, so I decided to refresh my memory and read it again.
The book focuses on the benefits of reading out loud to our children. There are so many! If you only do one thing for your child's education, read out loud to them. The more you read, the bigger your vocabulary, the greater your context awareness (meaning, you understand things like a forest even if you've never been in a forest), and the better your critical thinking skills, which all add up to make it easier and more enjoyable to read more. And again, the more you read ... Children's listening level is actually a few grade levels higher than their actual reading level, so reading out loud even to older children is very beneficial.
I love everything about this book. It reminds me of a paper my newspaper teacher had us fill out at the end of the year. It was a survey type thing. One of the questions was asking about the first book we read and I talked about how my mom would read to us growing up. He commented on my paper that almost every single avid reader and writer (because you don't become a good writer by writing more, you become a good writer by reading more) began with their parents reading to them as they grew up.
One specific point I wanted to mention that I really noticed during this reading was when Trelease talked about television and screen time. His main focus was not on the harmful effects of TV, but rather on the opportunity loss. A little screen time isn't bad, but whenever the child is watching the TV, he isn't doing something else that is more beneficial. This is especially true when looking at how much time a child watches TV versus how much time they spend reading. I really loved this because I've been working really hard at being very intentional about our screen time and cutting down on how often I turn on a TV show for Ashtyn.
And now, because I'm so excited about reading to the girls after rereading this book, we read all the time. After breakfast, we do our devotional (where we read scriptures) and then we pick a book and read it. It's usually a longer children's book. Sometimes we'll read several shorter ones. Parker usually plays for most of it, but she'll stop occasionally to look at the book. Ashtyn just sits and listens most of the time. Then we put Parker down and some days, Ashtyn and I go to the story time at the library, but a lot of time we'll read together just me and her. She really loves this book we have that's a collection of Golden Time Stories. She has her favorites and almost all of them have good sized paragraphs on each page. She will curl up next me and I'll read almost the entire collection. Every time I ask if she wants to do something else, she'll say, "No. Read the next story." It's amazing. Then I put Ashtyn down and have time with just Parker, so I'll put Parker in her high chair for food and read to her while she's in there and she loves it. After I get Ashtyn from her nap (Parker's usually asleep by then), Ashtyn usually asks me to read to her some more (we used to watch shows when she woke up and we still sometimes do, but if I offer to read to her instead, she always chooses that). And then of course, we read to both of them before every nap/bedtime. I love that we have so much time when we can read and that both my girls love us to read to them. I honestly think it's because we've read to them so much since such an early age. We started (with both of the them) when they were not even a week old and haven't missed a day since Ashtyn was three months old (when I really started doing her bedtime routine with a book). And I love it.
Creating Daily Routines by Dolly Freeman
This was a short eBook that I got for signing up for a homeschooling mom's blog. It was really short, but I liked it. One thing it brought up that I really liked was how routines and schedules differ. A routine gives you more flexibility where schedules, because they impose time constraints, are more demanding. I am a huge schedule and routine person, I like things to happen the way they were planned. Because of that, I got my babies on a sleeping and eating schedule as early as possible (brand new newborns physically aren't capable of that, but you'd be surprised how early they are if you gently try). We literally thrive off our routine. We don't have a super strict schedule excepting nap times and bedtimes. It's rare for me to allow something to interrupt those or even cause them to be late.
The main thing I connected with in this book (since we already have a routine that I love set up in our home) was when she talked about "routine robbers". These are things that cause your routines to go out the window. One she talked about was TV. This one is a big one for me. Ben and I have actually talked about this quite a bit, because he isn't as big of a TV person as I am, but I get sucked into it. I can very easily get addicted to TV. There are times in my life when I hardly watch any at all or very little, but once I start watching a little, it's very hard for me to not spend every free second watching it. I have a hard time with moderation, so I actually generally try to just avoid it. When I do get into a TV rut, though, I've noticed I lose motivation to do other things and I end up just doing minimum things (like putting the kids to bed on time and eating something for dinner). It's good to be aware of things like this in our lives.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
My Testimony of our Bedtime Routines
I still love our nap and bedtime routine. Most days, it's my favorite part of the day, with both Ashtyn and Parker. The older they both get, the more I love it. It's a time I can connect with them, no matter how crazy or frustrating the day has been up to that point. It makes me feel like a good mom for reading to them everyday (and sometimes, you really need moments that help you realize you're not totally failing as a mom). And the Spirit is so strong, it is my personal reassurance from Heavenly Father that I am doing what He wants with my time here on earth.
As I've been reading and singing to them lately, I've been pondering what makes this time so special. There are a lot of things. The connection that comes as we read and laugh and enjoy the books together. Them sitting on my lap and snuggling with me. The quiet, the peace, the one-on-one aspect. But one of the best parts is when I sing to them.
When Ashtyn was young, I started singing songs from the LDS Children's Songbook and hymns, because those were the songs I knew. I have continued that and, as Ben has joined in with the bedtime routine (right now, he puts one girl down and I take the other one), he does that as well. Ashtyn loves them and knows a lot of them, but it has an added benefit for me.
For me, singing those children's hymns really reinforces to me the fundamentals of the gospel. The songs are so full of simple testimony, it feeds my soul and reminds me how much God loves me and my children. It makes me a better mom.
When I sing I am a Child of God, I feel how special she is, the little one I hold in my arms. She is loved and watched out for by the greatest being in the world and He has trusted me to take care of her. I will forever be grateful for that trust.
Teach me to Walk in the Light reminds me that I have a job to do and it extends far and above simply making sure the girls have clothes and food. Right now is the best time for them to begin learning about God's love and His gospel and the way they do that is through me. I can't drop the ball.
Love is Spoken Here fills me with the sweetest desire to make our home a place where the Spirit resides. It is a gentle reminder to continue doing family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. If fills my heart with gratitude for such a loving and spiritually strong husband and that my children will grow up with that in their home.
I'm Trying to be Like Jesus is often a rebuke for me. "Try to show kindness in all that you do, be gentle and loving in deed and in thought." Those lyrics speak so strongly to me of how I should parent and I'm not always the patient, loving mom I want to be. These words speak to my heart, saying, "Be a better mother. Show Ashtyn (and now Parker) God's love by the way you parent, discipline, and teach". I know that even by trying to act as Jesus did, I will be a better mother.
I could go on forever. The songs seem endless and every single one of them holds kernels of truth and invite the Spirit to guide and direct me in my role as a mother. I am so grateful for my children, for the opportunity to be their mother. I am so grateful for grace, for the chance to repent when I'm not perfect. I am so grateful for the love of a Heavenly Father and for the beautiful music He has given us and that I get to be the one to share that with my beautiful daughters.
Sunday, February 19, 2017
January 2017 - Books I Read
This is a little late, but I want to start writing a monthly blog post summarizing the books I read during the month and telling what I got out of them. I know that one of the best ways to improve something is by tracking it. I really want to make reading a habitual, natural part of my life and I think this blog would be a great place to track it.
With all that said, I'll just jump right in!
For Him Only
We got these books for Christmas. This book outlined some things about women that men generally don't understand but that, if men did understand them, would help the relationship tremendously. It was very generic, so we followed the advice at the beginning of the book: I read the book first and underlined things and took notes so that Ben would know better what was most important to me and what might not apply from the books.
It was good for me to read it, because it actually helped me understand myself better. It put into words some things that I feel that I didn't understand before. Both Ben and I read both of these and it brought on a lot of really good discussions about ourselves and our relationship. It was very healthy for our marriage to read these together. I would highly recommend them.
For Her Only
So, the opposite of For Him Only. This book outlined some things about men that women generally don't understand but that, if women did understand them, would help the relationship tremendously. I loved reading this. It helped me understand why Ben does some of the things he does and helped me know how I can better serve him, as his wife. It also helped encouraged me to see some of the things I already do that fuel Ben's love tank. It definitely warrants a reread occasionally.
Parenting with Love and Logic
This is a book that my stepfather lent me. I had heard about this program before from other moms, in a positive light. I was excited to read it. I don't know that everything they discussed is exactly how I would do things, but I did get quite a bit from reading through it.
One concept they discussed was parenting with a win-win attitude in mind. I love this idea. For us, the way we do sleep is that way. We let our kids fall asleep on their own. For the first year of life, they might fuss while falling asleep. We let both Ashtyn and Parker cry for a while at one point. It was good for both them and us to do this. For us, it gives us the freedom to put them down and not have to worry about trying to get them to go to sleep. They just do it. It also allows us structure in our schedule, as we know when the girls will sleep and when they'll wake up (for the most part). And, of course, because the girls sleep better, we actually get sleep and free time, which helps us be more patient parents. It helps the girls because they get the rest they need, which helps them learn more effectively and feel better when they are awake. They know what's coming and have the structure of their sleep schedule in their life (that's really important for kids) and they have more patient parents. There are so many different areas that you can apply this concept.
The other main concept I pulled out of this book was to put the responsibility on the kids. This is really important, I think. I loved the "no problem" approach the book took. If the kid is doing something they shouldn't, no problem. There's a consequence for them, but it's not a problem for you. It is a problem for them if they don't like the consequence. I like this because not only does it put the responsibility for decision making on the kid, but it also removes the negative emotions (like frustration or anger) out of the equation for the parent.
The Millionaire Next Door
This is a book that I've been wanting to read for a long time. We are huge Dave Ramsey fans, we really like what he teaches, and he talks a lot about this book. We were trying out Kindle Unlimited (we decided that wasn't worth it for us, just fyi) and I was able to read it for free that way.
It was a very good book. It was interesting and motivated me once again to keep a frugal lifestyle in mind, even when we're making a lot of money. The main premise of the book is that it doesn't matter as much how much money you bring in but how much goes out that determines how wealthy you are. It was full of statistics and examples, which I loved.
Conclusion
So that's what I read in January. It was a good month for books. Stay tuned next month for an update on what I'm currently reading.
With all that said, I'll just jump right in!
For Him Only
We got these books for Christmas. This book outlined some things about women that men generally don't understand but that, if men did understand them, would help the relationship tremendously. It was very generic, so we followed the advice at the beginning of the book: I read the book first and underlined things and took notes so that Ben would know better what was most important to me and what might not apply from the books.
It was good for me to read it, because it actually helped me understand myself better. It put into words some things that I feel that I didn't understand before. Both Ben and I read both of these and it brought on a lot of really good discussions about ourselves and our relationship. It was very healthy for our marriage to read these together. I would highly recommend them.
For Her Only
So, the opposite of For Him Only. This book outlined some things about men that women generally don't understand but that, if women did understand them, would help the relationship tremendously. I loved reading this. It helped me understand why Ben does some of the things he does and helped me know how I can better serve him, as his wife. It also helped encouraged me to see some of the things I already do that fuel Ben's love tank. It definitely warrants a reread occasionally.
Parenting with Love and Logic
This is a book that my stepfather lent me. I had heard about this program before from other moms, in a positive light. I was excited to read it. I don't know that everything they discussed is exactly how I would do things, but I did get quite a bit from reading through it.
One concept they discussed was parenting with a win-win attitude in mind. I love this idea. For us, the way we do sleep is that way. We let our kids fall asleep on their own. For the first year of life, they might fuss while falling asleep. We let both Ashtyn and Parker cry for a while at one point. It was good for both them and us to do this. For us, it gives us the freedom to put them down and not have to worry about trying to get them to go to sleep. They just do it. It also allows us structure in our schedule, as we know when the girls will sleep and when they'll wake up (for the most part). And, of course, because the girls sleep better, we actually get sleep and free time, which helps us be more patient parents. It helps the girls because they get the rest they need, which helps them learn more effectively and feel better when they are awake. They know what's coming and have the structure of their sleep schedule in their life (that's really important for kids) and they have more patient parents. There are so many different areas that you can apply this concept.
The other main concept I pulled out of this book was to put the responsibility on the kids. This is really important, I think. I loved the "no problem" approach the book took. If the kid is doing something they shouldn't, no problem. There's a consequence for them, but it's not a problem for you. It is a problem for them if they don't like the consequence. I like this because not only does it put the responsibility for decision making on the kid, but it also removes the negative emotions (like frustration or anger) out of the equation for the parent.
The Millionaire Next Door
This is a book that I've been wanting to read for a long time. We are huge Dave Ramsey fans, we really like what he teaches, and he talks a lot about this book. We were trying out Kindle Unlimited (we decided that wasn't worth it for us, just fyi) and I was able to read it for free that way.
It was a very good book. It was interesting and motivated me once again to keep a frugal lifestyle in mind, even when we're making a lot of money. The main premise of the book is that it doesn't matter as much how much money you bring in but how much goes out that determines how wealthy you are. It was full of statistics and examples, which I loved.
Conclusion
So that's what I read in January. It was a good month for books. Stay tuned next month for an update on what I'm currently reading.
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Potty Training Ashtyn
Well, it's been two weeks of potty training. Ashtyn has been pretty easy and it's still been exhausting. I don't know how moms do it with kids who aren't easy. They are super moms.
I will start by saying I didn't really want to potty train this early. Diapers don't bother me at all (except how much they cost!) and the idea of potty training was very daunting. Somehow, diapers seemed easier to me than the constant threat of accidents. I was totally content to let Ashtyn turn three and them some before we moved away from diapers. She really wanted to, though, and we actually waited quite awhile after she wanted to before beginning.
Before we started, I took Ashtyn to the store and she picked out some princess and Minnie Mouse "undies" (she told Grandpa they were "undies, not panties", though we call them both). She also picked out a Minnie Mouse toy and I had a bunch of "healthier" candy in a jar.
That morning, I got her and took her diaper off. We just went bare bottom at first, as I have heard this is easier. We went downstairs and she kept sitting on her potty, then wanted a treat and her toy. I kept telling her she would get them when she went in her potty. She had a hard time waiting, it was over an hour and a half of staying dry. She either didn't want to let it out because she wasn't in a diaper or she had already let it out in her diaper that morning.
I kept having her drink a bunch of water (I was bribing her with gum, because I've read that it helps if they're drinking a ton of water). She was watching a show, so she was mostly hanging out on her potty. She'd get up and play, but then get back on when she asked for the candy and I reminded her how she got some.
Then she went, in her potty! Yay! She was excited to get her toy and her candy. Then she had two small accidents and that's when she realized she had to in her potty before getting another treat. So she sat on her potty and didn't want to come off. When I asked her if she wanted to get and play until she needed to go potty again, she'd say, "I'm going potty. I'm going to get a treat." And then just sat there. And she went several more times, getting a treat each time.
That's how it went until her nap. She's still currently in a crib, so we do diapers while she sleeps. After her nap, she told me (first thing when I got her) "I need to go potty and get a treat." She really loved getting those treats!
We came down, took her diaper off, and she camped out on her potty from then until almost bedtime. I think she was really nervous that if she got off, she would have an accident. While I was feeding Parker, Ben set up Smash and that lured Ashtyn off her potty chair. After I put Parker down, Ashtyn was sitting on a stool. She realized she needed to go and told us that. We helped her get down and get to her potty and she made it! Another yay!
The next day, Ashtyn didn't just camp out on her chair. She was feeling more confident in her ability to make it to the potty and seemed less interested in the treats (I think she was sugared out). She had one little accident in the morning, I think because she forgot, but no more accidents the rest of the day. She was able to get to her potty by herself without my prompting every time. Whenever she had to go, she'd say, "Oh no! Oh no! The stinky diaper is going to come out!" and then run over to her potty really fast.
The rest of the week was similar. She was really good at going in her potty. We started on a Thursday and that next Monday, we had a SuperSmash birthday party. I wasn't sure if she would stay dry, but I didn't want to put her in a diaper for the whole time, so we tried it out. She did really well, no accidents there.
Now week two is actually harder. The novelty of using the potty is wearing off and she doesn't seem to mind having accidents at all. If I can remind and coerce her into sitting on the potty often enough, we don't have a problem, but it's a constant thing for me. She never wants to sit and try anymore, I have to talk her into it, and she rarely proactively runs to her potty when she needs to go. She still will sometimes, but most of the time she waits until it's too late. I keep telling myself it's normal and that she will move on from this stage. I hope she does quickly.
So, overall, I would say not too bad. I still think it would be easier to just have her in her diapers, but now she's a "big girl." The best part for her is that she wears panties like her cousin now! I'm sure they'll have many a times comparing and talking about it.
I will start by saying I didn't really want to potty train this early. Diapers don't bother me at all (except how much they cost!) and the idea of potty training was very daunting. Somehow, diapers seemed easier to me than the constant threat of accidents. I was totally content to let Ashtyn turn three and them some before we moved away from diapers. She really wanted to, though, and we actually waited quite awhile after she wanted to before beginning.
Before we started, I took Ashtyn to the store and she picked out some princess and Minnie Mouse "undies" (she told Grandpa they were "undies, not panties", though we call them both). She also picked out a Minnie Mouse toy and I had a bunch of "healthier" candy in a jar.
That morning, I got her and took her diaper off. We just went bare bottom at first, as I have heard this is easier. We went downstairs and she kept sitting on her potty, then wanted a treat and her toy. I kept telling her she would get them when she went in her potty. She had a hard time waiting, it was over an hour and a half of staying dry. She either didn't want to let it out because she wasn't in a diaper or she had already let it out in her diaper that morning.
I kept having her drink a bunch of water (I was bribing her with gum, because I've read that it helps if they're drinking a ton of water). She was watching a show, so she was mostly hanging out on her potty. She'd get up and play, but then get back on when she asked for the candy and I reminded her how she got some.
Then she went, in her potty! Yay! She was excited to get her toy and her candy. Then she had two small accidents and that's when she realized she had to in her potty before getting another treat. So she sat on her potty and didn't want to come off. When I asked her if she wanted to get and play until she needed to go potty again, she'd say, "I'm going potty. I'm going to get a treat." And then just sat there. And she went several more times, getting a treat each time.
That's how it went until her nap. She's still currently in a crib, so we do diapers while she sleeps. After her nap, she told me (first thing when I got her) "I need to go potty and get a treat." She really loved getting those treats!
We came down, took her diaper off, and she camped out on her potty from then until almost bedtime. I think she was really nervous that if she got off, she would have an accident. While I was feeding Parker, Ben set up Smash and that lured Ashtyn off her potty chair. After I put Parker down, Ashtyn was sitting on a stool. She realized she needed to go and told us that. We helped her get down and get to her potty and she made it! Another yay!
The next day, Ashtyn didn't just camp out on her chair. She was feeling more confident in her ability to make it to the potty and seemed less interested in the treats (I think she was sugared out). She had one little accident in the morning, I think because she forgot, but no more accidents the rest of the day. She was able to get to her potty by herself without my prompting every time. Whenever she had to go, she'd say, "Oh no! Oh no! The stinky diaper is going to come out!" and then run over to her potty really fast.
The rest of the week was similar. She was really good at going in her potty. We started on a Thursday and that next Monday, we had a SuperSmash birthday party. I wasn't sure if she would stay dry, but I didn't want to put her in a diaper for the whole time, so we tried it out. She did really well, no accidents there.
Now week two is actually harder. The novelty of using the potty is wearing off and she doesn't seem to mind having accidents at all. If I can remind and coerce her into sitting on the potty often enough, we don't have a problem, but it's a constant thing for me. She never wants to sit and try anymore, I have to talk her into it, and she rarely proactively runs to her potty when she needs to go. She still will sometimes, but most of the time she waits until it's too late. I keep telling myself it's normal and that she will move on from this stage. I hope she does quickly.
So, overall, I would say not too bad. I still think it would be easier to just have her in her diapers, but now she's a "big girl." The best part for her is that she wears panties like her cousin now! I'm sure they'll have many a times comparing and talking about it.
Monday, January 23, 2017
A New Year, A New Schedule
I'm forever doing new schedule/routine posts because I am a schedule/routine person, but our little family is always growing and changing, so the schedule tends to change with that.
Here is our current schedule/routine, on an ideal day (because, of course, not every day goes like we expect and sometimes we just don't have the energy).
At 6:00 (on weekdays), Ben and I wake up. This is really hard usually, but we have a wake up streak going, which helps. We have this app called loop track that keeps track of streaks, longest streak if you lose it, and all sorts of stats. We really like it.
We're supposed to shower and get right to work when we wake up. This is my only guaranteed writing time for my business, so I try to use it. Sometimes we just snuggle on the couch, though. Honesty, some days we're too tired and it's so cold. We try though.
Parker usually wakes up by 7:30. I get her and feed her. When she's done, I write in my journal for a few minutes while she plays next to me and we get Ashtyn at 8:00. We change diapers and get dressed and then pick up the upstairs before heading downstairs for breakfast.
Parker and Ashtyn play and watch Signing Time while I make breakfast and clear out the dishwasher. I love clearing out the dishwasher in the morning so that the rest of the day, keeping the kitchen is easy. I'll also do any natural yeast stuff, since it needs to raise for six to twelve hours, so doing it in the morning or night is best.
Then we all eat breakfast (I take breakfast up to Ben and he eats while he works; he works all while I am doing all my morning stuff) and hang out until Parker's nap. She usually goes down between 9:30 and 10:30, depending on when she wakes up in the morning.
During Parker's nap, Ashtyn and I do her homeschool stuff. We start off with a devotional, where we sing a church song, say a prayer, and read a section of our family BOM. This is something that I use the streak app for as well, because I've been trying to do it with Ashtyn for a while now and have not been consistent with it. After our devotional, we count to 20 together (Ashtyn can now count to fifteen, but she still skips sixteen and seventeen) and work on learning the sounds of each letter. She knows all her letters and has for awhile; lately I've been watching videos on YouTube about how to teach kids to read because I've felt that Ashtyn is ready to move on from where she was at with letters and books. We have little flashcards and she loves them. We'll go through them together over and over because she asks to do it again.
After that, I've been trying to consciously spend the time while Parker is asleep with Ashtyn (not on my computer or running errands). We do all sorts of things, but I usually try to do school things still, even if it's not the focus. For example, we'll play with playdough and I'll use the playdough to work on number recognition. Sometimes we sit and color (which works her fine motor in preparation for writing) and we can talk about things like numbers and letters. We do a lot of tracing lines and shapes, sometimes we go to the library story time, sometimes we play in the snow, sometimes we get out busy bags. We just go with what we feel like doing.
Parker usually wakes up between 11:30 and 12:30. Ashtyn and I eat lunch at noon, Ben comes down closer to one for lunch, and I feed Parker when she wakes up. I put Ashtyn down at one and then hang out with Parker until her second nap. They're naps overlap 98% of the time for at least a little bit, so that's nice.
When they're both asleep, I usually do whatever I want. Sometimes there are things I want to get done, sometimes I do writing or crafty things, and sometimes I watch YouTube videos or TV.
I get Ashtyn at 4:00. She's usually awake and playing happily in her crib when I do, but every once in a while I have to wake her up. Parker usually wakes up between 4:00 and 5:00. When I get them, we hang out or do chores and errands. I've separated all my chores and things into different days. Monday I do shopping, Tuesday is a free day, Wednesday I make staple foods (like ketchup or granola bars), Thursday is my laundry day, Friday is my big cleaning day, and Saturday I do all the Sunday prep (making Sunday dinner, baths, preparing lessons, etc), and then Sunday is church.
Around 5:30 or 6:00, Ben comes down from work and we eat dinner and either all hang out or go visit family. Then it's just the stretch until bedtime.
Close to 8:00, I feed Parker while we do scriptures and pajamas for the girls and brush teeth and everything. Then I take one girl and Ben takes the other and we put them down for bed. The time from 8:30 to 10:00 (when we go to bed) is our time together. We play games or watch TV or snuggle and we love that time together. Then we do our bedtime stuff (start the dishwasher, brush teeth, read, whatever).
We reserve Monday for FHE and I've actually made that a streak as well, so that we don't forget about it. Friday is generally date night and we switch off who plans each week. We have some other streaks, with exercise and things, that we try to do throughout the day as well.
Of course, it doesn't always go smoothly. There are messed up naps, snow days when I'm supposed to go shopping, holidays, traveling, sickness, and lazy days, but we try to stick with this. Having my main jobs assigned to different days of the week and the streak app have really helped me stay motivated and do the minimum things when I don't feel minimum.
And I have to say, I am loving this schedule. I love that Parker and Ashtyn are growing and learning, I love that I get to spend so much time with Ben, I love that we are making steps towards being and staying healthy, and I love feeling so balanced with the important things in life. I feel so grateful we are in a place where we can do things like this.
Here is our current schedule/routine, on an ideal day (because, of course, not every day goes like we expect and sometimes we just don't have the energy).
At 6:00 (on weekdays), Ben and I wake up. This is really hard usually, but we have a wake up streak going, which helps. We have this app called loop track that keeps track of streaks, longest streak if you lose it, and all sorts of stats. We really like it.
We're supposed to shower and get right to work when we wake up. This is my only guaranteed writing time for my business, so I try to use it. Sometimes we just snuggle on the couch, though. Honesty, some days we're too tired and it's so cold. We try though.
Parker usually wakes up by 7:30. I get her and feed her. When she's done, I write in my journal for a few minutes while she plays next to me and we get Ashtyn at 8:00. We change diapers and get dressed and then pick up the upstairs before heading downstairs for breakfast.
Parker and Ashtyn play and watch Signing Time while I make breakfast and clear out the dishwasher. I love clearing out the dishwasher in the morning so that the rest of the day, keeping the kitchen is easy. I'll also do any natural yeast stuff, since it needs to raise for six to twelve hours, so doing it in the morning or night is best.
Then we all eat breakfast (I take breakfast up to Ben and he eats while he works; he works all while I am doing all my morning stuff) and hang out until Parker's nap. She usually goes down between 9:30 and 10:30, depending on when she wakes up in the morning.
During Parker's nap, Ashtyn and I do her homeschool stuff. We start off with a devotional, where we sing a church song, say a prayer, and read a section of our family BOM. This is something that I use the streak app for as well, because I've been trying to do it with Ashtyn for a while now and have not been consistent with it. After our devotional, we count to 20 together (Ashtyn can now count to fifteen, but she still skips sixteen and seventeen) and work on learning the sounds of each letter. She knows all her letters and has for awhile; lately I've been watching videos on YouTube about how to teach kids to read because I've felt that Ashtyn is ready to move on from where she was at with letters and books. We have little flashcards and she loves them. We'll go through them together over and over because she asks to do it again.
After that, I've been trying to consciously spend the time while Parker is asleep with Ashtyn (not on my computer or running errands). We do all sorts of things, but I usually try to do school things still, even if it's not the focus. For example, we'll play with playdough and I'll use the playdough to work on number recognition. Sometimes we sit and color (which works her fine motor in preparation for writing) and we can talk about things like numbers and letters. We do a lot of tracing lines and shapes, sometimes we go to the library story time, sometimes we play in the snow, sometimes we get out busy bags. We just go with what we feel like doing.
Parker usually wakes up between 11:30 and 12:30. Ashtyn and I eat lunch at noon, Ben comes down closer to one for lunch, and I feed Parker when she wakes up. I put Ashtyn down at one and then hang out with Parker until her second nap. They're naps overlap 98% of the time for at least a little bit, so that's nice.
When they're both asleep, I usually do whatever I want. Sometimes there are things I want to get done, sometimes I do writing or crafty things, and sometimes I watch YouTube videos or TV.
I get Ashtyn at 4:00. She's usually awake and playing happily in her crib when I do, but every once in a while I have to wake her up. Parker usually wakes up between 4:00 and 5:00. When I get them, we hang out or do chores and errands. I've separated all my chores and things into different days. Monday I do shopping, Tuesday is a free day, Wednesday I make staple foods (like ketchup or granola bars), Thursday is my laundry day, Friday is my big cleaning day, and Saturday I do all the Sunday prep (making Sunday dinner, baths, preparing lessons, etc), and then Sunday is church.
Around 5:30 or 6:00, Ben comes down from work and we eat dinner and either all hang out or go visit family. Then it's just the stretch until bedtime.
Close to 8:00, I feed Parker while we do scriptures and pajamas for the girls and brush teeth and everything. Then I take one girl and Ben takes the other and we put them down for bed. The time from 8:30 to 10:00 (when we go to bed) is our time together. We play games or watch TV or snuggle and we love that time together. Then we do our bedtime stuff (start the dishwasher, brush teeth, read, whatever).
We reserve Monday for FHE and I've actually made that a streak as well, so that we don't forget about it. Friday is generally date night and we switch off who plans each week. We have some other streaks, with exercise and things, that we try to do throughout the day as well.
Of course, it doesn't always go smoothly. There are messed up naps, snow days when I'm supposed to go shopping, holidays, traveling, sickness, and lazy days, but we try to stick with this. Having my main jobs assigned to different days of the week and the streak app have really helped me stay motivated and do the minimum things when I don't feel minimum.
And I have to say, I am loving this schedule. I love that Parker and Ashtyn are growing and learning, I love that I get to spend so much time with Ben, I love that we are making steps towards being and staying healthy, and I love feeling so balanced with the important things in life. I feel so grateful we are in a place where we can do things like this.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Benefits of Frugality
I've been reading The Millionaire Next Door. It's really interesting and it has got me thinking a lot about why Ben and I want to build wealth. We've talked a lot about it and the three main reasons for us are to put it back into Ben's business (for example, he wants a really nice computer that he's waiting to buy until after our house is paid off or someday he'd like to make his own game engine, when we have enough money that he can dump the time and money into that), so we can travel all the time, and so we can do some of the really fun giving things that we want to do.
Reading the book, though, reminded me of something I used to think about back when we were first listening to Dave Ramsey. Dave Ramsey's big thing is to live like no one else now so that later you can live and give like no one else later. Even though I believed in that principle, I didn't actually know why. I thought, if you are using debt to do the things you want already want (Ben and I weren't, I was just trying to logic it out from someone else's point of view) then aren't you already living the good life?
This book has really helped me see the benefits of living frugally to build wealth that you are later able to enjoy more fully. These are just some that come to mind.
Peace
Financial peace. You aren't worried that you aren't going to have enough left on your credit card to fill up your car with enough gas to get home. You're never panicked when you buy food for your family that you just spent the money to pay the light bill. Money becomes something you are in control of and when your life is in control, you feel more peace.
I honestly think this is one of the biggest pros of sticking to a budget and staying out of debt. Life is stressful enough without us unnecessarily adding more stresses because of our lack of self control.
Security
When you are out of debt and in control of your money, you suddenly have money! And you can do things like save three to six months in case something happens and start investing so your wealth grows and you'll be able to actually retire. When that happens, you feel a whole lot more secure.
Imagine it: you have no payments (including your house). You have enough money in the bank that you could live for six months without any sort of income. You have the right kind of insurance and your retirement is ahead of schedule--you're on track to be a millionaire. In this kind of situation, how do you feel if you lose your job? You hate your job and want to take a lower paying job? You want to start your own business? Your car gets totaled? Someone gets really sick? Taxes go way higher? The price of gas or milk skyrockets?
In all of these scenarios, the more secure your finances are, the better off you are. When life is going great, people with debt and no savings can get along fine and think they are doing okay. But when life goes badly, it's going to go much more badly for those type of people because they aren't prepared.
Knowing that if life takes a turn for the worse, you are going to be okay financially because you prepared brings a sense of security that debt will never bring. The book has a case study of two highly specialized doctors, one who is wealthy and one who has almost nothing except his income. The first man is at peace, because the stresses of things like increased taxes or inflation do not press heavily on his day to day life. Those same sort of issues, however, are huge stressors for the second man, because he's one step away from disaster.
You may have to give up some lifestyle things to live below your means and have enough to save/invest, but isn't it worth it, simply for the security of knowing that you can handle whatever life throws your way?
Better relationships
You will have better relationships if you are good with your money. This is especially true of your marriage.
That's because, when you get control of your finances, you're not only eliminating the stress between the two of you that comes from not being sure if you'll be able to pay the next bill, but to be really in control, you have to get on the same page. Doing so brings a sense of unity that might not have been in your marriage before. Ben and my relationship is so strong and I know a huge part of that is the feeling of unity we have in finances and our shared goals and dreams when it comes to our future finances.
Ability to give
This one is so huge. Everyone wants to give, I think. It's an innate thing. Some people are naturally better at it than others (for example, most spenders are more naturally givers than most savers), but everyone likes to give and wants to help others. The problem is, how in the world are you supposed to help others if you can't even keep up with your own life and family? You can't. A drowning person cannot save another. They have to learn to swim first.
The great thing about this, the more wealth you have, the more you're able to give. And as you get out of debt and continue budgeting, you will begin to build wealth.
Of course, you want to be giving all through the process. But at first, it might simply be tithing and not much else as you work to get yourself stable. Ben and I are still working on buying and paying off a house, so we don't give a ton right now. We're not ready financially. We do pay tithing, though, and when we see a need, we try to give as much as we feel we can. We can't wait until our house is paid off, though, and our wealth continues to build. We have so many plans with how we want to give. Right now, we're living like no one else, but soon, we'll be able to give like no one else.
Freedom
Money is just money, right? Nope. If you borrow money, you are literally in bondage. You have to pay that debt back and that is going to influence so much of what you do. Being out of debt with savings and investments, achieved by living below your means, creates freedom.
You have the freedom to choose a job you like. You have the freedom to stay home with the kids. You have the freedom to retire when you want. You have the freedom to travel, to give, to buy nice things without any sort of guilt or worry attached.
About two years ago is when Ben and I first listened to Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover. His parents had given us a really old copy that they'd listened to years before. We were driving from Orem to Vernal and decided to go ahead and listen.
We loved it. We both already agreed with the principles in the book, it just gave a more black and white view of debt and a step by step plan for handling your money. We were being frugal and didn't have a lot of debt (we had $5,000 in student loans, but no credit cards or car loans or anything) but we weren't on a budget and we weren't making very much money at all.
When we listened to it, we were in a transition from making $18,000 a year (with us both in school and me six months pregnant with Ashtyn) to making $40,000 a year. Our Dave Ramsey conversion seriously couldn't have come at a better time. We felt like we got a double raise because we got a raise and we started budgeting. We felt loaded!
We went through the baby steps really quick. I think we listened for the first time in July. We paid off my student loans before I even graduated and had our emergency fund funded by the end of January (Ashtyn was born in October there). Then we started saving for a down payment on a house.
And boy, it seemed like we would never have enough. Since I was done with school and we were starting our family, we both really wanted a house. But, Ben is the patient one and he helped me be patient, because we really wanted to buy a house when we were ready and be smart about it.
It turns out, waiting to buy a house and getting ourselves secure financially was one of the biggest blessings. A few months later (May of that same year) our landlords' daughter got married and they wanted to live in the basement apartment we were in, so we had to find a new place to live. We decided to take the chance and move to Vernal (where it was way cheaper to live at the time) and take Ben's business from part time to full time.
It was a huge leap. He was currently making $30,000 ish a year from his book. We were confident he could raise his income, but we weren't sure how quickly he could do it. We actually moved in with his sister while we figured it out. It only took a few months for him to get our income up dramatically. His goal for the year with his business was $40,000 and he hit almost $70,000. But that initial leap of faith was scary.
We never could have done it if we'd had any debt, had a house, or didn't have the savings in the bank as a backup. And we never would have done any of that if we hadn't started budgeting. Doing that changed our lives forever. Because we were able to do that, we are living our dream already. We are on track to do live the kind of life we want for the rest of our lives, but we are so happy with where we are at right now. Ben gets his dream job. He loves it. He loves getting up in the morning to work. He loves working in pajamas and showering after lunch if he wants. And he loves how he is in control of his business. I love that I get to be a stay-at-home mom. It's the biggest blessing to me. I love that Ben works here; I can take him food or get his help whenever I need it. We can do date night during the girls' afternoon nap and have him work later if we want, or have him take the day off for holidays. Once we get in a house, we have so many plans for traveling together. We're going to homeschool and Ben can help with things like teaching our kids how to program.
We love our situation and it never would have been this way if we weren't in control of our money. And for that, I will be eternally grateful.
Reading the book, though, reminded me of something I used to think about back when we were first listening to Dave Ramsey. Dave Ramsey's big thing is to live like no one else now so that later you can live and give like no one else later. Even though I believed in that principle, I didn't actually know why. I thought, if you are using debt to do the things you want already want (Ben and I weren't, I was just trying to logic it out from someone else's point of view) then aren't you already living the good life?
This book has really helped me see the benefits of living frugally to build wealth that you are later able to enjoy more fully. These are just some that come to mind.
Peace
Financial peace. You aren't worried that you aren't going to have enough left on your credit card to fill up your car with enough gas to get home. You're never panicked when you buy food for your family that you just spent the money to pay the light bill. Money becomes something you are in control of and when your life is in control, you feel more peace.
I honestly think this is one of the biggest pros of sticking to a budget and staying out of debt. Life is stressful enough without us unnecessarily adding more stresses because of our lack of self control.
Security
When you are out of debt and in control of your money, you suddenly have money! And you can do things like save three to six months in case something happens and start investing so your wealth grows and you'll be able to actually retire. When that happens, you feel a whole lot more secure.
Imagine it: you have no payments (including your house). You have enough money in the bank that you could live for six months without any sort of income. You have the right kind of insurance and your retirement is ahead of schedule--you're on track to be a millionaire. In this kind of situation, how do you feel if you lose your job? You hate your job and want to take a lower paying job? You want to start your own business? Your car gets totaled? Someone gets really sick? Taxes go way higher? The price of gas or milk skyrockets?
In all of these scenarios, the more secure your finances are, the better off you are. When life is going great, people with debt and no savings can get along fine and think they are doing okay. But when life goes badly, it's going to go much more badly for those type of people because they aren't prepared.
Knowing that if life takes a turn for the worse, you are going to be okay financially because you prepared brings a sense of security that debt will never bring. The book has a case study of two highly specialized doctors, one who is wealthy and one who has almost nothing except his income. The first man is at peace, because the stresses of things like increased taxes or inflation do not press heavily on his day to day life. Those same sort of issues, however, are huge stressors for the second man, because he's one step away from disaster.
You may have to give up some lifestyle things to live below your means and have enough to save/invest, but isn't it worth it, simply for the security of knowing that you can handle whatever life throws your way?
Better relationships
You will have better relationships if you are good with your money. This is especially true of your marriage.
That's because, when you get control of your finances, you're not only eliminating the stress between the two of you that comes from not being sure if you'll be able to pay the next bill, but to be really in control, you have to get on the same page. Doing so brings a sense of unity that might not have been in your marriage before. Ben and my relationship is so strong and I know a huge part of that is the feeling of unity we have in finances and our shared goals and dreams when it comes to our future finances.
Ability to give
This one is so huge. Everyone wants to give, I think. It's an innate thing. Some people are naturally better at it than others (for example, most spenders are more naturally givers than most savers), but everyone likes to give and wants to help others. The problem is, how in the world are you supposed to help others if you can't even keep up with your own life and family? You can't. A drowning person cannot save another. They have to learn to swim first.
The great thing about this, the more wealth you have, the more you're able to give. And as you get out of debt and continue budgeting, you will begin to build wealth.
Of course, you want to be giving all through the process. But at first, it might simply be tithing and not much else as you work to get yourself stable. Ben and I are still working on buying and paying off a house, so we don't give a ton right now. We're not ready financially. We do pay tithing, though, and when we see a need, we try to give as much as we feel we can. We can't wait until our house is paid off, though, and our wealth continues to build. We have so many plans with how we want to give. Right now, we're living like no one else, but soon, we'll be able to give like no one else.
Freedom
Money is just money, right? Nope. If you borrow money, you are literally in bondage. You have to pay that debt back and that is going to influence so much of what you do. Being out of debt with savings and investments, achieved by living below your means, creates freedom.
You have the freedom to choose a job you like. You have the freedom to stay home with the kids. You have the freedom to retire when you want. You have the freedom to travel, to give, to buy nice things without any sort of guilt or worry attached.
About two years ago is when Ben and I first listened to Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover. His parents had given us a really old copy that they'd listened to years before. We were driving from Orem to Vernal and decided to go ahead and listen.
We loved it. We both already agreed with the principles in the book, it just gave a more black and white view of debt and a step by step plan for handling your money. We were being frugal and didn't have a lot of debt (we had $5,000 in student loans, but no credit cards or car loans or anything) but we weren't on a budget and we weren't making very much money at all.
When we listened to it, we were in a transition from making $18,000 a year (with us both in school and me six months pregnant with Ashtyn) to making $40,000 a year. Our Dave Ramsey conversion seriously couldn't have come at a better time. We felt like we got a double raise because we got a raise and we started budgeting. We felt loaded!
We went through the baby steps really quick. I think we listened for the first time in July. We paid off my student loans before I even graduated and had our emergency fund funded by the end of January (Ashtyn was born in October there). Then we started saving for a down payment on a house.
And boy, it seemed like we would never have enough. Since I was done with school and we were starting our family, we both really wanted a house. But, Ben is the patient one and he helped me be patient, because we really wanted to buy a house when we were ready and be smart about it.
It turns out, waiting to buy a house and getting ourselves secure financially was one of the biggest blessings. A few months later (May of that same year) our landlords' daughter got married and they wanted to live in the basement apartment we were in, so we had to find a new place to live. We decided to take the chance and move to Vernal (where it was way cheaper to live at the time) and take Ben's business from part time to full time.
It was a huge leap. He was currently making $30,000 ish a year from his book. We were confident he could raise his income, but we weren't sure how quickly he could do it. We actually moved in with his sister while we figured it out. It only took a few months for him to get our income up dramatically. His goal for the year with his business was $40,000 and he hit almost $70,000. But that initial leap of faith was scary.
We never could have done it if we'd had any debt, had a house, or didn't have the savings in the bank as a backup. And we never would have done any of that if we hadn't started budgeting. Doing that changed our lives forever. Because we were able to do that, we are living our dream already. We are on track to do live the kind of life we want for the rest of our lives, but we are so happy with where we are at right now. Ben gets his dream job. He loves it. He loves getting up in the morning to work. He loves working in pajamas and showering after lunch if he wants. And he loves how he is in control of his business. I love that I get to be a stay-at-home mom. It's the biggest blessing to me. I love that Ben works here; I can take him food or get his help whenever I need it. We can do date night during the girls' afternoon nap and have him work later if we want, or have him take the day off for holidays. Once we get in a house, we have so many plans for traveling together. We're going to homeschool and Ben can help with things like teaching our kids how to program.
We love our situation and it never would have been this way if we weren't in control of our money. And for that, I will be eternally grateful.
Thursday, December 22, 2016
My Love of Motherhood
I read a post the other day that made me so sad. It was about mothers who regret having children after having them. It broke my heart, for both the mothers and the children in the article. Someone commented on it, though, about each of us having different gifts and the love of motherhood was a gift she'd been given.
That really spoke to me, because I have the same gift. I love being a mother. I have always wanted to be a mom and even when it's hard, I don't regret having kids or having kids so early in our marriage. I have hard days and there are days (particularly when I don't get enough sleep because of children) where I tell Ben half seriously that we aren't having any more kids. But those times pass and I love the rest of it.
I love coloring with Ashtyn and having her grab my hand to bring me from the couch to play with her.
I love the way Parker's face lights up when she sees me, with a grin so big you wouldn't think it actually fits on her face.
I love hearing Ashtyn negotiate how many toys she can bring in the car and listen to her sing "Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, won't you shine down on me!" at the top of her lungs.
I love watching Parker try so hard to crawl and how much she loves being on the ground able to try to crawl now.
I love hearing everything that Ashtyn says (sometimes it is SO funny) and how much she loves Parker.
I love this time of year with kids. Ashtyn is only two and she already loves everything about Christmas. That makes me so happy. Making them happy is so easy, but it brings so much joy.
I really love everything. I love the big things, like watching them open birthday presents and get excited about every single one, and I love the quiet moments of snuggles that come throughout the day. I honestly wouldn't want to be doing anything else with my life.
I don't know the solution for the moms who regret it. Maybe they need to find a better balance in their life, maybe they need to learn contentment, maybe they really should never have had kids to begin with. I don't know. I just know that I would never trade being a mother for anything in the world--a career, more travel, more freedom. None of it would be worth missing out on what I have right now.
There are sacrifices that come with having children. Some are short term, while they are so little and need you for everything and some never go away. I've felt that and there have been times when I have wished to be free of the responsibility so Ben and I could spontaneously go to a movie or take a cruise whenever we wanted. I also know, though, that it's worth. I understand, down to my very core, that what I'm doing is the most important work out there. And I really, really love doing it.
And for that, I will be eternally grateful.
That really spoke to me, because I have the same gift. I love being a mother. I have always wanted to be a mom and even when it's hard, I don't regret having kids or having kids so early in our marriage. I have hard days and there are days (particularly when I don't get enough sleep because of children) where I tell Ben half seriously that we aren't having any more kids. But those times pass and I love the rest of it.
I love coloring with Ashtyn and having her grab my hand to bring me from the couch to play with her.
I love the way Parker's face lights up when she sees me, with a grin so big you wouldn't think it actually fits on her face.
I love hearing Ashtyn negotiate how many toys she can bring in the car and listen to her sing "Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, won't you shine down on me!" at the top of her lungs.
I love watching Parker try so hard to crawl and how much she loves being on the ground able to try to crawl now.
I love hearing everything that Ashtyn says (sometimes it is SO funny) and how much she loves Parker.
I love this time of year with kids. Ashtyn is only two and she already loves everything about Christmas. That makes me so happy. Making them happy is so easy, but it brings so much joy.
I really love everything. I love the big things, like watching them open birthday presents and get excited about every single one, and I love the quiet moments of snuggles that come throughout the day. I honestly wouldn't want to be doing anything else with my life.
I don't know the solution for the moms who regret it. Maybe they need to find a better balance in their life, maybe they need to learn contentment, maybe they really should never have had kids to begin with. I don't know. I just know that I would never trade being a mother for anything in the world--a career, more travel, more freedom. None of it would be worth missing out on what I have right now.
There are sacrifices that come with having children. Some are short term, while they are so little and need you for everything and some never go away. I've felt that and there have been times when I have wished to be free of the responsibility so Ben and I could spontaneously go to a movie or take a cruise whenever we wanted. I also know, though, that it's worth. I understand, down to my very core, that what I'm doing is the most important work out there. And I really, really love doing it.
And for that, I will be eternally grateful.
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