ALL feelings are okay. NOT all actions are.

It's been really sad, getting on any social media or news site this weekend. Between the terrible death cause by a policeman to the riots that everyone and their dog is condoning, my heart is just sick.

The death is a tragedy. A murder. A terrible act committed. I am so sad that things like that can happen in the world. I understand why people are frustrated, angry, sad, and even scared.

And those emotions are okay.

What I don't understand and cannot justify is the rioting and burning others' property. That is never okay.

One of my favorite parenting books teaches a principle that is very applicable here: ALL feelings are okay. I repeat, ALL feelings are okay. NOT all actions are.

The rioting is sad to see, but the worst part of that for me is how many people feel it's "justified". How else are they supposed to get people's attention? How else can they make a change happen?

Well, I'll tell you, not this way.

This is counterproductive for what they are trying to achieve. They want less force from the police? This is going to cause more? They want better lives for minorities? They are literally looting and burning stores and restaurants that belong to minority members of their community.

And will this get the government's attention? Sure, in a very brute force way until the riots are squashed and then not only is it back to square one, it's back to square -3, because now the government is less likely to be open to listening or change, and also they are showing people that they actually act the way they say people are racist for believing they act.

And while I desperately hope and pray that no one else gets hurt--either during the actual riots or while people are trying to stop the  riots--I do think that the government has a right to stop the riots by force.

Because, as that parenting book teaches, It's okay as long as it's not hurting PEOPLE or PROPERTY. Once it starts hurting someone or something, it's not okay anymore. NO MATTER THE REASON.

One person acting badly doesn't justify you to act badly in response.

People are saying things like, well what about the Boston Tea Party? Was that wrong?

Actually, yes. I'm grateful for my country and it's founding, and I know the founding fathers were led by God to give us a place we can worship freely, but there were mistakes made. On both sides. Including our side. And destroying other people's property is never okay.

Destroying people's property is never okay.

They have the right to protest. They have the right to work towards change. I would love to see systemic changes that help with the problems in our country, including that of racism (which is a very broad and generalized term here).

The thing is, most people believe that racism is bad. Most people agree we don't want it in our country. But all people favor those most like themselves--in any way, not just race, though most differences like religion, culture, world views, can be traced back eventually to race. It's built into us and we need to find ways to overcome that, each as an individual. The system we're in can help or hinder that, depending on how it's set up. But that's when it gets tricky, because it's a very complicated issue.

One that I think we need to be talking about.

But rioting and looting and burning cars and buildings? That's not going to help anyone.