Systems over Goals

Awhile ago, Ben and I learned about the concept of systems. It's a very powerful idea.

The idea behind it is that motivation is fleeting. When you set a goal, even if you write it down and make it specific and all the things you're supposed to do with goal setting, you can't rely simply on motivation to help you reach it. Motivation doesn't last and there are going to be days when you don't want to work on your goal. That's where systems come in.

Systems make working on your goals automatic, if you set them up that way.
Systems help you to make progress even when you aren't feeling motivated.
Systems give you a way to work on your goals.

Here are examples of some goals Ben and I have and systems we put in place to help us reach them:

Goal: Read to the kids everyday. 

We want to instill a love of reading into our kids and the best way to do that is to read to them everyday (besides all the other benefits that reading to them everyday has!). It's actually better to read to your kids for 5 minutes everyday than it is to read to them for 15 minutes three times a week.

System: Read before bedtime 

Since Ashtyn was three months old, we have implemented a bedtime routine of reading a book and then singing a song to our kids before bedtime (and nap time). We try to read to our kids more than this. We read for homeschool. We read when they bring us a book and ask. Sometimes at bedtime we read more than one book. But this system ensures that no matter what happens, they get read to. If we are traveling, if we just had a baby, if we are all sick ... no matter how our schedule is messed up, our kids have to go to bed and before bed, we read them a book.

Goal: Daily scripture study as a family 

We haven't always been the best at being consistent with this and we tried a few different systems that didn't work (such as reading scriptures before bedtime, which we were too tired to do consistently). Our current system isn't perfect, but it works better than others we've tried.

System: Get out the Come Follow Me manual as soon as dinner is over. 

This works well for us because we have really small kids. I have a tendency to want to have things happen perfectly. Sometimes, our kids are engaged during scriptures and it all goes smoothly. Other times, Rylee is crying, Parker wants to play, and Ashtyn isn't interested. At those times, for my sanity and patience, we let it go at simply reading one scripture and being done.

The reason this system does't work perfectly is because there are times our dinner schedule gets put off. We might be trying to leave for Ben's parents' house as soon as dinner is done, or maybe Melissa and her kids are over for dinner (which is always pretty chaotic). There are times, especially during the summer, when we have to squeeze it in at bedtime after all. The system I use for this is having a reminder on my phone. That way, if we don't get cued in at dinner time, we'll be reminded to do it that day still.

Goal: Floss everyday 

This is one that Ben and I were never really consistent with until we learned more about habits.

System: Track habit/Floss in the morning 

Ben and I both have this habit, but we actually use different methods to keep it. Ben started using an app called Loop Habit Tracker. It reminds him everyday and keeps track of his streak. He flosses as soon as he brushes his teeth at night. Now that he's been doing it for so long, he automatically flosses when he brushes and doesn't even have to think about it.

I use a different system. Because I am a morning person, I get really tired sometimes at night. That means, some nights I have no problem doing things like dishes and flossing. Other nights, it's literally a struggle just to brush my teeth and get pajamas on before climbing into bed. So, I floss in the morning. This is super easy for me, since I brush my teeth then anyway, and I'm never tempted to skip because I feel too tired.

Goal: Keeping the kitchen clean 

Ben and I both value a clean, clutter free house. We are higher in orderliness and messes stress us. The kitchen is the hardest room to keep clean because of it's constant use, but we have set up a system together of making it fairly easy to keep up on.

System: Clear out dishwasher in morning, start dishwasher at night 

I am the morning person, so I clear out the dishwasher in the morning. I do this at the same time everyday, before I make myself breakfast. This allows for the girls to do their dishes as soon as they are done with breakfast and gives us a place to put the dirty dishes throughout the day.

Ben is the night person, so he loads any dishes that aren't already in the dishwasher and starts it. It can run while we're asleep and is then ready for me to clear it out in the morning. Ben does this at the same time everyday as well, as soon as we are done putting the girls down to bed.

If you're interested in habits and systems, a great book to read is Atomic Habits by James Clear. 

Ben and I have found systems to be really helpful as we've worked to make our lives better. We are always looking for more ways to better in all the areas of our lives. It's so nice to have the tools to be way able to do that.