My Testimony of our Bedtime Routines

I still love our nap and bedtime routine. Most days, it's my favorite part of the day, with both Ashtyn and Parker. The older they both get, the more I love it. It's a time I can connect with them, no matter how crazy or frustrating the day has been up to that point. It makes me feel like a good mom for reading to them everyday (and sometimes, you really need moments that help you realize you're not totally failing as a mom). And the Spirit is so strong, it is my personal reassurance from Heavenly Father that I am doing what He wants with my time here on earth. 

As I've been reading and singing to them lately, I've been pondering what makes this time so special. There are a lot of things. The connection that comes as we read and laugh and enjoy the books together. Them sitting on my lap and snuggling with me. The quiet, the peace, the one-on-one aspect. But one of the best parts is when I sing to them. 

When Ashtyn was young, I started singing songs from the LDS Children's Songbook and hymns, because those were the songs I knew. I have continued that and, as Ben has joined in with the bedtime routine (right now, he puts one girl down and I take the other one), he does that as well. Ashtyn loves them and knows a lot of them, but it has an added benefit for me. 

For me, singing those children's hymns really reinforces to me the fundamentals of the gospel. The songs are so full of simple testimony, it feeds my soul and reminds me how much God loves me and my children. It makes me a better mom. 

When I sing I am a Child of God, I feel how special she is, the little one I hold in my arms. She is loved and watched out for by the greatest being in the world and He has trusted me to take care of her. I will forever be grateful for that trust. 

Teach me to Walk in the Light reminds me that I have a job to do and it extends far and above simply making sure the girls have clothes and food. Right now is the best time for them to begin learning about God's love and His gospel and the way they do that is through me. I can't drop the ball.

Love is Spoken Here fills me with the sweetest desire to make our home a place where the Spirit resides. It is a gentle reminder to continue doing family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. If fills my heart with gratitude for such a loving and spiritually strong husband and that my children will grow up with that in their home. 

I'm Trying to be Like Jesus is often a rebuke for me. "Try to show kindness in all that you do, be gentle and loving in deed and in thought." Those lyrics speak so strongly to me of how I should parent and I'm not always the patient, loving mom I want to be. These words speak to my heart, saying, "Be a better mother. Show Ashtyn (and now Parker) God's love by the way you parent, discipline, and teach". I know that even by trying to act as Jesus did, I will be a better mother. 

I could go on forever. The songs seem endless and every single one of them holds kernels of truth and invite the Spirit to guide and direct me in my role as a mother. I am so grateful for my children, for the opportunity to be their mother. I am so grateful for grace, for the chance to repent when I'm not perfect. I am so grateful for the love of a Heavenly Father and for the beautiful music He has given us and that I get to be the one to share that with my beautiful daughters. 

January 2017 - Books I Read

This is a little late, but I want to start writing a monthly blog post summarizing the books I read during the month and telling what I got out of them. I know that one of the best ways to improve something is by tracking it. I really want to make reading a habitual, natural part of my life and I think this blog would be a great place to track it.

With all that said, I'll just jump right in!

For Him Only 

We got these books for Christmas. This book outlined some things about women that men generally don't understand but that, if men did understand them, would help the relationship tremendously. It was very generic, so we followed the advice at the beginning of the book: I read the book first and underlined things and took notes so that Ben would know better what was most important to me and what might not apply from the books.

It was good for me to read it, because it actually helped me understand myself better. It put into words some things that I feel that I didn't understand before. Both Ben and I read both of these and it brought on a lot of really good discussions about ourselves and our relationship. It was very healthy for our marriage to read these together. I would highly recommend them.

For Her Only 

So, the opposite of For Him Only. This book outlined some things about men that women generally don't understand but that, if women did understand them, would help the relationship tremendously. I loved reading this. It helped me understand why Ben does some of the things he does and helped me know how I can better serve him, as his wife. It also helped encouraged me to see some of the things I already do that fuel Ben's love tank. It definitely warrants a reread occasionally.

Parenting with Love and Logic 

This is a book that my stepfather lent me. I had heard about this program before from other moms, in a positive light. I was excited to read it. I don't know that everything they discussed is exactly how I would do things, but I did get quite a bit from reading through it.

One concept they discussed was parenting with a win-win attitude in mind. I love this idea. For us, the way we do sleep is that way. We let our kids fall asleep on their own. For the first year of life, they might fuss while falling asleep. We let both Ashtyn and Parker cry for a while at one point. It was good for both them and us to do this. For us, it gives us the freedom to put them down and not have to worry about trying to get them to go to sleep. They just do it. It also allows us structure in our schedule, as we know when the girls will sleep and when they'll wake up (for the most part). And, of course, because the girls sleep better, we actually get sleep and free time, which helps us be more patient parents. It helps the girls because they get the rest they need, which helps them learn more effectively and feel better when they are awake. They know what's coming and have the structure of their sleep schedule in their life (that's really important for kids) and they have more patient parents. There are so many different areas that you can apply this concept.

The other main concept I pulled out of this book was to put the responsibility on the kids. This is really important, I think. I loved the "no problem" approach the book took. If the kid is doing something they shouldn't, no problem. There's a consequence for them, but it's not a problem for you. It is a problem for them if they don't like the consequence. I like this because not only does it put the responsibility for decision making on the kid, but it also removes the negative emotions (like frustration or anger) out of the equation for the parent.

The Millionaire Next Door 

This is a book that I've been wanting to read for a long time. We are huge Dave Ramsey fans, we really like what he teaches, and he talks a lot about this book. We were trying out Kindle Unlimited (we decided that wasn't worth it for us, just fyi) and I was able to read it for free that way.

It was a very good book. It was interesting and motivated me once again to keep a frugal lifestyle in mind, even when we're making a lot of money. The main premise of the book is that it doesn't matter as much how much money you bring in but how much goes out that determines how wealthy you are. It was full of statistics and examples, which I loved.

Conclusion

So that's what I read in January. It was a good month for books. Stay tuned next month for an update on what I'm currently reading.

Potty Training Ashtyn

Well, it's been two weeks of potty training. Ashtyn has been pretty easy and it's still been exhausting. I don't know how moms do it with kids who aren't easy. They are super moms.

I will start by saying I didn't really want to potty train this early. Diapers don't bother me at all (except how much they cost!) and the idea of potty training was very daunting. Somehow, diapers seemed easier to me than the constant threat of accidents. I was totally content to let Ashtyn turn three and them some before we moved away from diapers. She really wanted to, though, and we actually waited quite awhile after she wanted to before beginning.

Before we started, I took Ashtyn to the store and she picked out some princess and Minnie Mouse "undies" (she told Grandpa they were "undies, not panties", though we call them both). She also picked out a Minnie Mouse toy and I had a bunch of "healthier" candy in a jar.

That morning, I got her and took her diaper off. We just went bare bottom at first, as I have heard this is easier. We went downstairs and she kept sitting on her potty, then wanted a treat and her toy. I kept telling her she would get them when she went in her potty. She had a hard time waiting, it was over an hour and a half of staying dry. She either didn't want to let it out because she wasn't in a diaper or she had already let it out in her diaper that morning.

I kept having her drink a bunch of water (I was bribing her with gum, because I've read that it helps if they're drinking a ton of water). She was watching a show, so she was mostly hanging out on her potty. She'd get up and play, but then get back on when she asked for the candy and I reminded her how she got some.

Then she went, in her potty! Yay! She was excited to get her toy and her candy. Then she had two small accidents and that's when she realized she had to in her potty before getting another treat. So she sat on her potty and didn't want to come off. When I asked her if she wanted to get and play until she needed to go potty again, she'd say, "I'm going potty. I'm going to get a treat." And then just sat there. And she went several more times, getting a treat each time.

That's how it went until her nap. She's still currently in a crib, so we do diapers while she sleeps. After her nap, she told me (first thing when I got her) "I need to go potty and get a treat." She really loved getting those treats!

We came down, took her diaper off, and she camped out on her potty from then until almost bedtime. I think she was really nervous that if she got off, she would have an accident. While I was feeding Parker, Ben set up Smash and that lured Ashtyn off her potty chair. After I put Parker down, Ashtyn was sitting on a stool. She realized she needed to go and told us that. We helped her get down and get to her potty and she made it! Another yay!

The next day, Ashtyn didn't just camp out on her chair. She was feeling more confident in her ability to make it to the potty and seemed less interested in the treats (I think she was sugared out). She had one little accident in the morning, I think because she forgot, but no more accidents the rest of the day. She was able to get to her potty by herself without my prompting every time. Whenever she had to go, she'd say, "Oh no! Oh no! The stinky diaper is going to come out!" and then run over to her potty really fast.

The rest of the week was similar. She was really good at going in her potty. We started on a Thursday and that next Monday, we had a SuperSmash birthday party. I wasn't sure if she would stay dry, but I didn't want to put her in a diaper for the whole time, so we tried it out. She did really well, no accidents there.

Now week two is actually harder. The novelty of using the potty is wearing off and she doesn't seem to mind having accidents at all. If I can remind and coerce her into sitting on the potty often enough, we don't have a problem, but it's a constant thing for me. She never wants to sit and try anymore, I have to talk her into it, and she rarely proactively runs to her potty when she needs to go. She still will sometimes, but most of the time she waits until it's too late. I keep telling myself it's normal and that she will move on from this stage. I hope she does quickly.

So, overall, I would say not too bad. I still think it would be easier to just have her in her diapers, but now she's a "big girl." The best part for her is that she wears panties like her cousin now! I'm sure they'll have many a times comparing and talking about it.