This week I've been thinking about the way that Ben and I homeschool. Our kids are young (Ashtyn would be in preschool this year if we were doing traditional schooling), so we have just begun really homeschooling, but I have read and studied about the different types of schooling and the way children learn best. We've decided that a simple homeschooling style will work best for our family and are implementing that now with Ashtyn and Parker.
One thing that I truly believe about simple homeschooling and child led learning is that children are always learning. As we give them the time and support to explore what they're passionate about, their love of learning will not diminish as they reach the age of 5, 6, 7, or 8. They will continue to learn and love learning. And the best way to learn is in natural, every day experiences.
This is something I have believed, but it has been amazing to watch it in the lives of our children. Today, I wanted to write down some of the ways I've seen this happening recently.
One thing that we do is while I do their hair, I'll let them choose something to learn about and find YouTube videos about it. We've learned about things like the history of holidays, math (addition and subtraction), chess, volcanoes, the layers of the Earth's surface, how paper is made, the life cycle of butterflies, etc. There are a lot of great resources for kids' learning on YouTube and it's rare for me to not be able to find a video on the topic that they choose. Some of these topics (like how paper is made) came from a question Ashtyn had the day before. One of the cool things about it is that Ashtyn will tell Ben about the videos at dinner and she remembers a lot of it.
It's cool to them make connections as well. The girls love to choose nonfiction picture books, mostly about animals and bugs, from the library right now. One of the books talked about prey and predators. A week later, we were watching a YouTube video on different fish. Ashtyn realized, "Whales are the predators, and those fish are the prey!"
It's amazing to me how often there are teaching opportunities in the moment. Ashtyn and Parker love to set their water bottles on the counter in the morning to make a rainbow on the wall, as the sun shines through their water bottles. One afternoon this last week, Ashtyn was trying to do it during lunch. She got mad, wondering where the sun had gone. Ben got to show her how the sun moved; we got some toys, set them right by the sun shining on the floor, and then watched as the sun got further and further away from the toys. Then we got to talk about why the sun does that and what it means to orbit, etc.
Another thing I think is amazing is how much kids can learn from one interest they have. We're really seeing that with Ashtyn right now. Ashtyn's biggest passion currently is perler beads. She spends hours everyday making new designs (some she makes up and some she uses a reference on my computer). Doing the perler beads, she is learning patience, spatial awareness, shapes and grids (for example, there are some patterns she can do on a square grid, but others she can only do on her hexagon board), color awareness (she knows her colors, but she gets learn how they look together, the subtlety of the different shades, etc.), counting and how each perler bead represents one unit, creativity, how to make her own pixel art designs that look good (for example, she made a girl the other day and learned that it would look better if the arms were slightly shorter, so then she learned that our arms are shorter than our legs). When it's time for her to learn about graphs, it's going to click for Ashtyn because she's already using graphs. And when she's a little older, she wants to learn to do pixel art on the computer for Ben's games and when she does, she'll have a huge head start because she's been practicing with perler beads for so long.
Even though I already know that kids want to learn and that they can learn so well from the world around them, it's been so fun to begin seeing it in my own children. I am so grateful to get a front seat as they grow and learn and am excited to continue that as they get older!
Sunday, February 23, 2020
Sunday, February 16, 2020
Some thoughts on Teaching Kids to Love to Read
Reading is one of Ben and my top parenting goals.
We want our kids to absolutely love reading. We want them to know that reading is one of the best ways to learn. We want them to enjoy novels. We want them to pick books over things like TV or Facebook when they're older. We want them to grow to love a lot of the books that we love and choose books.
One of the ways we are doing this is by reading to them everyday. When Parker was younger (7 months) she wasn't into books at all (Ashtyn was, so we had that comparison). I remember putting Parker in her high chair with food to get her to hold still while I read to her. I persisted in reading to her (I tried to read to her before her naps and bedtime and sometime during the day, even if I had to distract her with food to do it, each day). We also kept books around at her level. She loved to play with the books and "read' them herself as a toddler. She loves books now; she loves to pick books at the library (her favorite right now are Fancy Nancy and nonfiction books about bugs) and often asks me to read them to her. She also still loves "reading" the books (looking at them and sometimes making up a story with it) herself.
We want to keep her love of reading as she grows older. I know that one area we'll have to tread carefully with her is learning to read. With Ashtyn, even as into reading and letters as she is, it's been a learning process.
Ashtyn started to learn to read in the spring of 2019, with sight words and letter sounds. She progressed pretty quickly and then the holidays came at the end of the year and we were not very consistent with having her practice reading each day. In January, we set a goal for her to read to me every day for 25 days and then we would get ice cream. I brought a Henry and Mudge book downstairs for her to read to me. We only read a couple pages, but she got really frustrated. The next day she didn't want to read, but I coaxed her into it and she did a couple pages again. The next day, she didn't want to read again and I couldn't coax her into it. I didn't want to force her, because that would go contrary to our goals. She had me worried as she said things throughout the day like, "I'm never going to read again," and "I hate reading."
As I pondered over what to do, I remembered Ashtyn insisting on reading Green Eggs and Ham to us at bedtime in October (she had to insist because it took her forever, compared to us reading it to her, but we let her because she really wanted to). That night at bedtime, I reminded her of when she liked to read Green Eggs and Ham to us and asked if she wanted to try that one with me before bed. She was very excited to do that and giggled through the whole book. The entire feeling of the experience was opposite of trying to read Henry and Mudge.
I realized that the Henry and Mudge books were too advanced for her still. I talked with her the next day about that, and about how she was so frustrated because she wasn't ready for the books I'd picked. Together, we picked some other Dr. Seuss books and she read them all to me. Now, we pick pre-level 1 books at the library and she reads one a day to me. She knows most of the words in them with a few new words for her to sound out. It's the perfect level because she gets to practice the words she already knows but doesn't know as well as, say an adult, and also gets to enjoy the story without frustration while also getting to practice a few new words.
It was a learning experience for me, but also for Ashtyn. I loved that we got to use this experience as a way to show Ashtyn how to reevaluate her goals and where she is at with them, and also talk about how we progress a little bit at a time and can start at a more basic level to begin with. It turned out to be a really great experience.
Teaching kids to read while keeping their love of reading can be tricky. I know that as we are patient with our kids and let them learn at their level (while making sure we're helping progress when they're ready rather than staying in a comfort zone), and continue to read aloud to them, our kids will continue to love books. They might not read as much as I do as an adult, but I'm confident that they will grow up knowing that they love to read, that they can read to learn, and that we will be able to continue to connect over books.
Sunday, February 9, 2020
The Best Things We've Done For Our Marriage
Ben and I have a great relationship. It isn't perfect and of course there are times when we feel more distanced from each other or have hurt feelings, but overall, we feel connected and have a really close, intimate relationship with each other.
Today, I wanted to share some of the things we've done that I feel have helped strengthen our relationship.
Budget
This is not the first thing most people would think of, when looking at "marriage advice" but it has been huge for us! It has kept us on the same page financially, so we both know exactly what is going on and eliminated any hard feelings or stress we each have about money.
Our system is that I create our budget (on Google Sheets), since I'm the detail oriented nerd and also the one who handles most of the nitty-gritty running of the household stuff. Then on the first of the month, we go over our budget together and talk about any points Ben isn't sure of. We adjust if needed and then I do the finances for Ben's business so we can pay ourselves.
Before we started budgeting each month, I remember there being a strain on us. We weren't making a lot of money and we had heated discussions (we've never yelled at each other, but we do have discussions where feelings are obviously hard) about the undercurrents of our finances. It was hard!
When we started budgeting, it simply put us on the same page BEFORE the money was spent. I remember one Christmas, I wanted to spend quite a bit on a few different things and Ben was feeling stressed about our income. I had put the budget together and sent it up to him to look at. He came down and we talked about the budget. It was an emotionally charged discussion, because the things I wanted seemed really important to me. Once I realized how Ben was feeling, though, we were able to compromise and cut back our Christmas budget to something we were both happy with. That discussion would never have happened if we didn't have the budget. I probably would have just spent the money and then Ben would have been unhappy about it and it would have created tension in our marriage.
I'm so grateful for our budget and the way it has helped us be a team!
Read marriage books together
This is one that has been fun throughout our marriage. We aren't always reading a relationship book, but we're always on the lookout for a good one. Sometimes we revisit our favorites as well.
This has helped us to learn about ourselves (or just think about ourselves so that we can articulate things), learn about each other, and has opened up discussions about our relationship that we might not otherwise have had. It has helped us learn how to show love to each other in better ways, taught us what is really important to each other, and improved the intimate side of our relationship.
Some of our favorite marriage books: For Men Only/For Women Only, The Five Love Languages, Knowing Her Intimately
Make physical intimacy a priority
This one hasn't always been easy! We got pregnant with our first near the end of our first year of marriage and then had three kids in four years. Having young kids is exhausting and busy, which can really make this side of marriage hard. As we've learned and struggled to keep this an important part of our marriage, though, we've been truly blessed for it. I know this is a vitally important part of marriage, that brings us closer not only to each other but also to God.
Learn how we each want love shown to us
One of the things that we've had to do is learn about ourselves and what makes us feel loved. It can be tricky to figure out! We started with the base knowledge we learned from the 5 Love Languages book and then continued to have discussions about what makes us personally feel loved.
For a long time, I thought my top languages were quality time and words of affirmation. I still believe quality time is my number one, but I realized words of affirmation isn't. I thought it was, because I love receiving notes and things like that. Then I realized, my second is actually gifts. I had discarded gifts before because someone buying me something at the store wouldn't really fill my love language. But I realize now, I LOVE gifts that have a lot of thought and meaning behind them. It can be bought from the store as long as I know it's meaningful. This was an important break through for me and how I feel about the way Ben shows me love. Now he has the knowledge he needs to make events (like our anniversary) meaningful for me, which really helps in the way I feel about him and our relationship.
One thing Ben and I have done as well is sit down and talk about what we both feel would help strengthen the romance in our relationship. We're both still working on implementing those on a day to day basis, but the knowledge we now have about each other has already strengthened that side of our relationship.
Talk to each other when we're upset
This is one that has been really hard for us (especially me) to learn. Our first year of marriage was our hardest, because it was the year we had to learn this the most. We're both the type of the people to avoid conflict and just not say anything when we're upset, but then still be upset about it. Because of this, we've had to learn how to talk to each other.
One thing I've learned is to say it right away. The longer I go without saying something, the more I feel I "missed my chance" with it. Then I'm mad, but I don't want to say anything, but every little thing Ben does makes me more mad. If I talk about it right away, it pretty much always ends up being a misunderstanding, which is easy to work through. If it's a difference of opinion, that can be harder, but we still work through it until we both feel understand and have a plan for how to act better the next time that situation comes up.
There are obviously a lot more things we've done and worked through to become close, but those are some of the big things. I am so grateful to have a husband who cares so much about me and about our marriage. We may never have a perfect relationship in this life (because we are imperfect people), but I know that we will both always continue to work on making it better.
Today, I wanted to share some of the things we've done that I feel have helped strengthen our relationship.
Budget
This is not the first thing most people would think of, when looking at "marriage advice" but it has been huge for us! It has kept us on the same page financially, so we both know exactly what is going on and eliminated any hard feelings or stress we each have about money.
Our system is that I create our budget (on Google Sheets), since I'm the detail oriented nerd and also the one who handles most of the nitty-gritty running of the household stuff. Then on the first of the month, we go over our budget together and talk about any points Ben isn't sure of. We adjust if needed and then I do the finances for Ben's business so we can pay ourselves.
Before we started budgeting each month, I remember there being a strain on us. We weren't making a lot of money and we had heated discussions (we've never yelled at each other, but we do have discussions where feelings are obviously hard) about the undercurrents of our finances. It was hard!
When we started budgeting, it simply put us on the same page BEFORE the money was spent. I remember one Christmas, I wanted to spend quite a bit on a few different things and Ben was feeling stressed about our income. I had put the budget together and sent it up to him to look at. He came down and we talked about the budget. It was an emotionally charged discussion, because the things I wanted seemed really important to me. Once I realized how Ben was feeling, though, we were able to compromise and cut back our Christmas budget to something we were both happy with. That discussion would never have happened if we didn't have the budget. I probably would have just spent the money and then Ben would have been unhappy about it and it would have created tension in our marriage.
I'm so grateful for our budget and the way it has helped us be a team!
Read marriage books together
This is one that has been fun throughout our marriage. We aren't always reading a relationship book, but we're always on the lookout for a good one. Sometimes we revisit our favorites as well.
This has helped us to learn about ourselves (or just think about ourselves so that we can articulate things), learn about each other, and has opened up discussions about our relationship that we might not otherwise have had. It has helped us learn how to show love to each other in better ways, taught us what is really important to each other, and improved the intimate side of our relationship.
Some of our favorite marriage books: For Men Only/For Women Only, The Five Love Languages, Knowing Her Intimately
Make physical intimacy a priority
This one hasn't always been easy! We got pregnant with our first near the end of our first year of marriage and then had three kids in four years. Having young kids is exhausting and busy, which can really make this side of marriage hard. As we've learned and struggled to keep this an important part of our marriage, though, we've been truly blessed for it. I know this is a vitally important part of marriage, that brings us closer not only to each other but also to God.
Learn how we each want love shown to us
One of the things that we've had to do is learn about ourselves and what makes us feel loved. It can be tricky to figure out! We started with the base knowledge we learned from the 5 Love Languages book and then continued to have discussions about what makes us personally feel loved.
For a long time, I thought my top languages were quality time and words of affirmation. I still believe quality time is my number one, but I realized words of affirmation isn't. I thought it was, because I love receiving notes and things like that. Then I realized, my second is actually gifts. I had discarded gifts before because someone buying me something at the store wouldn't really fill my love language. But I realize now, I LOVE gifts that have a lot of thought and meaning behind them. It can be bought from the store as long as I know it's meaningful. This was an important break through for me and how I feel about the way Ben shows me love. Now he has the knowledge he needs to make events (like our anniversary) meaningful for me, which really helps in the way I feel about him and our relationship.
One thing Ben and I have done as well is sit down and talk about what we both feel would help strengthen the romance in our relationship. We're both still working on implementing those on a day to day basis, but the knowledge we now have about each other has already strengthened that side of our relationship.
Talk to each other when we're upset
This is one that has been really hard for us (especially me) to learn. Our first year of marriage was our hardest, because it was the year we had to learn this the most. We're both the type of the people to avoid conflict and just not say anything when we're upset, but then still be upset about it. Because of this, we've had to learn how to talk to each other.
One thing I've learned is to say it right away. The longer I go without saying something, the more I feel I "missed my chance" with it. Then I'm mad, but I don't want to say anything, but every little thing Ben does makes me more mad. If I talk about it right away, it pretty much always ends up being a misunderstanding, which is easy to work through. If it's a difference of opinion, that can be harder, but we still work through it until we both feel understand and have a plan for how to act better the next time that situation comes up.
There are obviously a lot more things we've done and worked through to become close, but those are some of the big things. I am so grateful to have a husband who cares so much about me and about our marriage. We may never have a perfect relationship in this life (because we are imperfect people), but I know that we will both always continue to work on making it better.
Tuesday, February 4, 2020
January 2020 - Books I Read
January was a pretty good reading month for me. My goal is to read between 10 and 12 books (no more than that, so that I can put energy towards other things) and I read 11.
Here are the books I read, with some thoughts of what I thought. For more in depth reviews, you can check out my Goodreads page.
The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Here are the books I read, with some thoughts of what I thought. For more in depth reviews, you can check out my Goodreads page.
The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This turned out to be one of my favorite Agatha Christie's that I've read so far! I loved the perspective of the person we were following and I was taken totally by surprise by the twist at the end.
Marilla of Green Gables by Sarah McCoy
⭐⭐⭐
This is one I've had my eye on for awhile and Santa brought it to me. It was pretty good, but I didn't absolutely love it. I felt that there were major parts of the book that didn't fit well with Marilla's character. It was still a fairly enjoyable read, though, and I enjoyed revisiting Green Gables.
The Life of Abraham Lincoln by Henry Ketcham
⭐⭐⭐⭐
I listened to this (narrated by Brian Troxell, who did an excellent job) and loved it. It wasn't unbiased, as Ketcham obviously held Lincoln in very high regard, but I still felt it was well done and I loved learning more about one of my favorite presidents. If Ketcham has more books, I want to read some more by him.
Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I am rereading the three Cosmere books this year in preparation for the fourth one, Rhythm of War, that comes out in November. I love Way of Kings and my reread reminded me of how brilliant it is. It is one my favorite endings of all time. Kaladin's character arc is so great and really delivers at the end. I cry every time I read it. I also will never get over Dalinar at the end of this, I love his character so much. I'm excited to reread the other two!
Batman: Year One by Frank Miller
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Ben and I watched all the Marvel movies last year in a marathon and it got me wanting to read some comic books (I've read graphic novels, but never comic books, especially super hero ones). I got some recommendations from my brother and started here. I loved it! I really appreciated the way Batman has to learn and makes a lot of mistakes as he's starting out. I also enjoyed how much of a focus we got on Gordon. I'm looking forward to reading the next one.
Everyone's an Aliebn When You're an Aliebn Too by Jomny Sun
⭐⭐⭐⭐
This was a cute little graphic novel with cool artwork and inspirational quotes throughout. It was enjoyable.
The Mysterious Affair Styles by Agatha Christie
⭐⭐⭐⭐
I think this is the first book Christie published and it was pretty meh for me. I enjoyed it, but it definitely wasn't my favorite by her.
To Con a Gentleman by Sarah Adams
⭐⭐⭐⭐
This is regency romance about a con woman, who ends up trying to con the wrong person and, of course, they start to fall for each other. I thought it was well done over all and will be watching for more books by this author.
The Princess and the Fan Girl by Ashley Poston
⭐⭐⭐⭐
This is the sequel to Geekerella and follows one of the side characters from that book. It's also a retelling of The Prince and the Pauper. Overall, I really enjoyed it and loved the characters. It was more of a fluff read, but it has a lot of deeper issues throughout and really focuses on the fan girl aspect, which was fun.
The Borden Murders by Sarah Miller
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I had read a historical fiction by Sarah Miller last year and loved it, so I wanted to try more books by her. This is a true crime, which I had never read any of before, but I ended up loving it! It was like a detective book (which I love) but about a ... well, true crime. I thought the information was presented in a very fair way, and I'm still frustrated at the way the case was handled because now we'll probably never know who actually committed the crime. I was worried about how gory it would be, since the victims were butchered, but they were briefly described in a more detached way and it didn't bother me at all.
Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This is the last book I finished, reading a little bit at a time throughout the month. This is one that my mom recommended (I believe it's her favorite of Bradbury's) and I can see why. The writing is poetic, the characters feel very real, and the story--while slow paced--is immersive. I loved the experience of reading this.
What did you read last month? What was your favorite book from January? Let me know in the comments below!
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