This happened awhile back, but I wanted to share it, because it had a big impact on me. This past month, I've had a few weeks that have been a bit of a struggle. I don't know if it was the stress of building our house (which is fun but also a big stress), hormonal imbalance (which is what it felt like), some sort of burn out, or a combination of all of that. I'm past it now, but it was hard.
Anyways, I was sitting in church a few weeks ago and during the sacrament hymn, I was struggling with my emotions. The morning hadn't been a good one. I had lost my temper with Ashtyn while trying to get ready for church and ended up yelling at her. I hadn't felt like a very good mother or wife and I didn't know what to do to make it better.
The song we were singing really hit me and I was feeling my Savior's love strongly. I felt the reality of forgiveness and mercy and the chance to try to be better tomorrow.
During the talks, the girl in front of me (she has two boys, both younger than Parker and Ashtyn but with a similar age difference between them) turned around and whisper asked if she could talk to me in the hall. I nodded, not thinking much of it, but then she said, "right now?" I nodded again, surprised.
I followed her out, wondering what in the world this could be about.
When I got out there, I was amazed when she turned to me, tears in her eyes, apologizing.
"What for?" I asked, bewildered.
She took a breath. "Did you see over my shoulder?"
"No," I said, even more confused than before.
"Oh," she said, with a little laugh. "Well, I'm still sorry. Let me explain."
During the sacrament hymn, Ben had been singing with gusto. He loves they hymns and has a beautiful singing voice. We can't go anywhere without some little old lady coming up and telling him how much they loved hearing him sing. This girl had known Ben since childhood and had sent a text to her mom that said, "Ben Anderson is sitting behind me. He's singing like he's in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir."
She hadn't meant it in a mean way, was going to turn around and tell him how much she enjoyed his singing. But she had turned around right after that and had seen the tears in my eyes. She was worried I had seen it and taken it the wrong way. She kept apologizing, saying that she shouldn't have sent the text.
I understood. I hadn't seen the text, but I knew she hadn't meant it in a mean way and wasn't upset about it when she told me. Then I opened up and told her how rough my week and morning had been, that I was struggling with being a good mom.
She listened and told me about the time two nights ago when she'd struggled to hold her temper with her boy. We swapped how the stages our kids are in right now are hard and she really understood what I was feeling. We stood in the hallway crying with each other and it was honestly the best thing for me. Telling someone what I was going through and having them really understand helped me, in the next few weeks, get through what I was feeling and be a better mom through it all.
I am so grateful she had the courage and compassion to pull me out in the hallway. It started off as a misunderstanding, but to me, it was the answer to a prayer.
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