Kody

I am feeling really sad today.

A few years ago, I was able to go on my stake's trek as an aunt. I was originally supposed to go as a ma, but circumstances changed and they needed me to fill a different role. I was really disappointed by this and hadn't really wanted to actually go any longer. On the bus out, I sat next to one of the kids in my family, Kody. He was seventeen and one of those kids that hadn't wanted to come to trek but was there anyways (because of parents or leaders or whatever). We started talking and during the rest of the trek, I tried to watch out for him. We really seemed to connect.

At the end of trek, he wrote me a note, telling me that he was really glad I'd gone on the trek. He told me he probably would have been a trouble maker and not gotten much out of trek if I hadn't gone. As it was, I'd helped him have a really good experience there. I was so happy.

I sort of tried to stay in touch with him after, but it didn't last long. I only had Facebook as a way of contacting him and most of the time when I'd message him, he wouldn't answer. I did see him a few times and I let him know that I was thinking of him.

Then about a month ago, he messaged me. He was wanting to talk, about the church and different things. He shared some of the hard things he had going on with his life and we would talk on Facebook sometimes. It wasn't very long ago that we talked.

Then today, as I was scrolling through Facebook, I saw that he died. I don't know details, but I have guesses from what I've seen on Facebook. The situation is really sad to me, because when we would talk, it seemed like he was trying really hard to get back on the right track again. I was actually thinking about things from General Conference to talk with him about earlier today. Now, I can't.

It's just so sad. He was so young. I wish I could have done more for him.

I honestly didn't know him for very long or very well. I felt like I knew him well, though; we just sort of clicked in an immediate way. I want to remember him, though. I want to remember how much it meant for us to go through our trek experience together. I want to remember that when he was trying to get his life on a better path, I was one of the people he reached out to. And I want to remember him and do more to reach out to those around me.

Because you never know when one of them will be a Kody, needing your help and your love.