At first, it wasn't too bad. I was pregnant with Parker and Ashtyn would go to nursery. After Parker was born, the other teacher taught for me for almost two months. Then it became harder for me and I developed a really bad attitude about it. I would say things like, "I don't understand why they call people with kids into primary," and talk all about why I was so picked on to have that calling right now. And, in all honesty, it was hard. It was a lot of work and we were often juggling kids to make sure we could both make it to our callings and I would come home exhausted.
After the women's conference in the spring, I realized that God had given me this calling for a reason and that I needed to change my attitude about it. I began to try doing that, but it was hard. I put more into my calling again, but I still didn't like it. I still struggled with my own feelings of resentment and I still dreaded church.
I began praying for help with it. Shortly after that, I found a book called "It's Okay Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules" by Heather Shumaker and it seriously changed my life. It's my favorite parenting book. It's changed the way I look at how Ashtyn behaves, it changed how I interact with the kids, and has made me more patient overall.
What I didn't expect, however, is how it would change my view of my calling. After I read the book, I went to church to teach (I was a team teacher, so I didn't teach every week). I saw the kids in a new light. I saw their wiggles and normal child behavior in a new light. I tried to incorporate many of the ideas that I'd learned in how I interacted and taught. I was able to talk with the mother of one particularly exuberant child and tell her honestly how much I loved him and how many good qualities he had and even talk with her about what I'd learned in the book. It was a total 360 for me.
The next few weeks, we were traveling and sick and had family things, so I didn't teach and when we got back in town, I was called in to talk with a member of the bishopric member. They released me and gave me a new calling (gospel doctrine teacher).
I know it seems normal and coincidental, but to me, I feel God's hand in this. I know God called me to something that would be really hard for me. But as He worked on me and through me, I felt His love for me and finally for those primary children. I know it is no coincidence that God waited until I was able to find that love for them to release me. And I will forever be grateful for that.
After the women's conference in the spring, I realized that God had given me this calling for a reason and that I needed to change my attitude about it. I began to try doing that, but it was hard. I put more into my calling again, but I still didn't like it. I still struggled with my own feelings of resentment and I still dreaded church.
I began praying for help with it. Shortly after that, I found a book called "It's Okay Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules" by Heather Shumaker and it seriously changed my life. It's my favorite parenting book. It's changed the way I look at how Ashtyn behaves, it changed how I interact with the kids, and has made me more patient overall.
What I didn't expect, however, is how it would change my view of my calling. After I read the book, I went to church to teach (I was a team teacher, so I didn't teach every week). I saw the kids in a new light. I saw their wiggles and normal child behavior in a new light. I tried to incorporate many of the ideas that I'd learned in how I interacted and taught. I was able to talk with the mother of one particularly exuberant child and tell her honestly how much I loved him and how many good qualities he had and even talk with her about what I'd learned in the book. It was a total 360 for me.
The next few weeks, we were traveling and sick and had family things, so I didn't teach and when we got back in town, I was called in to talk with a member of the bishopric member. They released me and gave me a new calling (gospel doctrine teacher).
I know it seems normal and coincidental, but to me, I feel God's hand in this. I know God called me to something that would be really hard for me. But as He worked on me and through me, I felt His love for me and finally for those primary children. I know it is no coincidence that God waited until I was able to find that love for them to release me. And I will forever be grateful for that.
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