As Ben and I have become parents (and tried to blend my go-overboard personality with his more minimalist one), we've had to figure out how to "do Christmas" in a way that works for us. This is especially true of Christmas presents. Today I wanted to share a little bit about our journey to where we are now and what we currently do (which we love!).
The first year we were married, we had hardly any money, so we definitely didn't go overboard. We got each other a small present and were really blessed with generous parents on both sides. The next year, we had Ashtyn, but she was only three months old, we still had no money, and we had another very moderate but blessed Christmas.
The next year was fun because it was the first year Ashtyn was really able to participate in some of the activities (she was 15 months). I got excited and got her a few more presents, but we were really trying to keep our budget tight (we were making more, but saving a TON for our house) and we were living with Ben's sister at the time, so we had very little space for new things. It was another lovely Christmas. This was the year we tried doing three gifts modeled after the wisemen (for gold, something they really want; for frankincense, a more sentimental gift; and for myrrh, something for the body like clothes), but Ben didn't really like it (he felt he was too constrained trying to come up with something for each category.
The next year, we had Parker (who was 6 months) and Ashtyn was 2. I got so excited about Christmas. I started buying presents for Ashtyn in October and I honestly never really stopped. I decided to get her and Parker a new doll and some accessories for their dolls. And anything I could think of that would go with a doll, I got her. She just had so many presents ... On Christmas morning, we went to Ben's parents first, then came home to unwrap presents before driving to West Jordan for my family's party. We weren't rushed, but we also were on a schedule because of driving out. Ashtyn opened two or three presents, and then she just wanted to play. I managed to get her to open a couple more (it was like pulling teeth) and then I just gave up and opened them myself. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I learned it well.
The next year, we consciously scaled way back. Ashtyn was 3 and Parker was 1 1/2. We had just gotten into our house (which was basically Ben and my Christmas!), and I was sick with morning sickness. We got the girls one big gift (we got them each a bike) and stockings from Santa. It was the best Christmas morning we'd had together and I decided that's how I wanted to keep it--one big present for each child plus a gift for all the kids.
These are all the presents we have for this year. The box is about 2/3 way full of stocking stuffers from Santa. We budget about $50 per person for stockings (we do things like our favorite candy, socks or underwear, books, whatever the kids ask Santa for like ballet slippers or a locket, puzzles or games, a few inexpensive toys or crafts that I don't consider too junky. I really try to be intentional about what we put in our stockings and get less good quality items, rather than a bunch of cheap things. Santa also brings each girl a new outfit each year, which is part of the stocking budget).
For the girls' main gift, Ben and I currently budget $50 for each girl. This year, Rylee's gift was cheaper, so we budgeted less. We try to get one big thing (for Parker, we got her more prince and princess figurines because she loves princesses and spends hours playing with things like that), but we actually got two things for Ashtyn. She asked for fairy figurines like Parker's princesses (she says she wants them, but she doesn't play with things like that very well), but I wanted to get her pattern blocks, because she loves things like pixel art or building with blocks. We found one set of each for $25, so we got both (what she thinks she wants and what we want to get her).
We also get one gift for all the girls to share. This year we budgeted $30 for it and got them a map. This is something that they will be really excited for, but I'm also excited for it. They are always asking where places are and now I'll be able to show them on our map! (Last year we gave them Just Dance, for $25, just to give you an idea).
Ben and I decide on our budget for getting each other a gift based off of the rest of the Christmas budget and how much we want to spend. Some years, we've decided on sentimental free gifts. Other years, we've done $100 each. This year, we decided on $50 each. Ben picked out his gift (he wants to get what he wants and enjoys looking forward to getting it without being surprised) and Ben is surprising me (I love the surprise aspect of gifts).
We also do an exchange with a friend in Norway, where we send her Christmas gifts and she sends us some. We each have one to open from her each year plus some candy.
And that's how we handle Christmas in our immediate family. While we have simplified, I don't feel any lack of presents. The girls have just the right amount to open and I still have the joy of finding, wrapping, and watching them open presents. If there's something I really want to give them outside their main gift, I can put it in their stocking, but because of our budget, I don't go overboard in that area either. It's the perfect balance for our family.
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