Sunday, January 12, 2020

The Beauty of being a Tired Momma

We had an incident this week where Parker had diarrhea and a really full diaper. It leaked out all over the living room floor, onto Ben's new shoes, and then there were footprints of it through the kitchen as Parker came to tell me what happened.

Luckily, because it wasn't on carpet, it was a fairly easy clean up, and Parker was happy because she got to play in the tub. And Ben was happy, because I was actually supposed to be running an errand when it happened, but luckily happened to be home, so he didn't have to clean it up.

The incident got me thinking. There are hard moments as a mom ... as in really, really hard moments. Labor, waking up in the night, cleaning up throw up all day long, potty training and potty training regressions, cleaning up the room when kids draw in their poop all over everything. I've had hard days and harder nights.

But the thing is, the hard moments, for me usually, aren't what make parenting so hard. Sometimes the day in, day out, is what makes it so draining, so exhausting, so overwhelming.

When you get your kids food first, then get yourself food, and before you're even finished getting yours ready, they're clamoring for more.

When you have to get three kids' shoes and jackets on, and then load them into the car, trying to actually get them into their car seats (this get infinitely harder as they learn to walk and climb into the car on their own), and buckle them up.Then you have to undo all their buckles when you get to the store or the bank, keep track of them while trying to do your errand, and then get them all in the car again, in their car seats again, and buckled again. It's honestly the most exhausting part of my day when we run errands.

There are many moments like this, but honestly the hardest part of motherhood is the constancy of the kids' needs. They need someone to get them up and out of their rooms, give them food, get them ready if we're going anywhere, give them some sort of attention, give them more food, clean them up, give them more food, give them a nap and a chance to rest, give them more food, give them more attention, give them more food, more attention, and then put them to bed. And that's the bare minimum. That's not including things like, scriptures and gospel learning, reading together, homeschool, fun activities like baking and playing outside, play dates, crafts, keeping the house semi-clean. And that's just the day to day stuff. It doesn't include the hard days of being sick, traveling, trying to find a babysitter for date nights, or the hard stages like potty training or trying to get a three year old not to whine or chasing a toddler around.

No wonder parenthood is exhausting! No wonder motherhood is so hard! And don't get me wrong, I really love being a mother. I love my children so much it hurts. I am proud of the sacrifices I make for them and am always wanting to be a better mother and find better systems to handle the things I talk about in this blog post. I do love it and I do appreciate the small moments that make all of it worth it.

Just today, I'm feeling tired. But maybe that's part of the beauty of motherhood.

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