A Needed Reminder

I wanted to share an experience I had yesterday.

Yesterday was a hard day. If I'm honest, pretty much everyday lately has been hard. I have a one-year-old and a two-year-old. Ashtyn is a test boundaries all day long and then throw major tantrums when the boundaries are enforced. This tests my patience and I have to admit that I do not always keep my temper in check. I often yell and get upset when I want to stay calm. This is something we're working on, on both Ashtyn's and my side. Then there's Parker, who is in a stage of getting into everything and puts everything in her mouth. It feels like I have to be ever vigilant watching her and am constantly chasing her around. She's also in a clingy stage, where she cries at least five times every time I set her down to do anything, like get dressed or make dinner.  On top of that, for the past little while, their nap schedules have been flip flopping each other as Parker works her way to one nap. Parker takes a morning nap and wakes up just in time for Ashtyn's nap, who wakes up before I put Parker down for her afternoon catnap. Which means the only kid free time I have is waking up at six in the morning or after we put them down for bed before I go to bed.

I love being a mom and there are plenty of moments that remind me of how grateful I am to be a mother, but that doesn't diminish the hard parts of life right now.

Well, yesterday I was attempting to make dinner. Parker was crying at my feet and Ashtyn was throwing a fit because she wanted to play outside. I had music playing on Pandora, but I changed it to Hilary Weeks station because I felt that we needed a little more peace in the house.

This song (ignore the video, just listen to the song) came on. It was exactly what I needed. Before the song, I was feeling like a failure as a mother. I was thinking of the times I yelled or got impatient. As this song played, though, the Spirit entered my heart so quickly and powerfully. And as it did, I was reminded of all the things I had that day that was building and teaching and nourishing my children.

The time we'd spent reading the Book of Mormon and learning a story from it.
The songs we'd sung together.
The time we'd spent playing in the dirt together.
The moments I'd had with Parker as we took turns giving her doll kisses.
Rocking in the chair with Ashtyn before her nap singing "I am a child of God."
Teaching Ashtyn with magnetic letters on the cookie sheet.

The good moments are there and I know that I do my best as a mother. Sometimes, it really feels like I fall short. It's easy to get lost in the mundane of motherhood. It's important, even when I mess up and am not perfect, to remember that I did a lot of good too.

It reminds me of this video. It's basically my favorite thing right now. It's such a good reminder that where we see ordinary and work and mundane, the kids see time spent with us, magic, and beautiful moments. We would do well to see parenthood through our children's eyes.

So I want to thank my Heavenly Father for sending me a reminder when I most needed it that I am doing a good job as a mother. I still want to be better and will work to be more patient with my children, but as I am, I need to know, I am not failing. My children feel loved, are learning about their Heavenly Father, and are growing and learning daily.

And that, that's the most important thing.