This is a book on intimacy within marriage. I thought it was well written. It was informative but not in any way vulgar and looked at things from a Christian/biblical perspective. I could tell reading through it that it was a general Christian rather than specifically LDS book, but it was still a good read (if you're looking for a purely LDS read, And They Were Not Ashamed by Laura M. Brotherson is a very, very good read. She also has another book, Knowing Her Intimately, that I haven't read yet since I just found out about it, and is also working on a book about knowing men intimately, as well as some online videos).
One theme throughout the book is that God has told us that men and women have a right to be sexually satisfied. We do not need to feel ashamed about sex or that it is a forbidden or bad subject/action within marriage. It is sacred, but it is ordained for marriage and God wants you and your spouse to enjoy it together.
Another theme throughout was the idea that you should be giving. The woman should be conscious of her husband's sexual needs and vise versa. "An honest desire for the happiness of our partner will bring a surprising degree of happiness into our own lives." It reminds me of the famous quote by Gordon B. Hinkley.
On the flip side of that, it's also important to communicate your needs and desires with your spouse. They shouldn't have to guess what you're thinking and feeling in order to please you and you should never be holding in resentment because you haven't spoken up about something, especially in the bedroom. The more open your communication, the better your intimacy will be. When your partner comes to you with anything, it's important to approach with an open and understanding attitude. Almost any conflict in marriage can be resolved if both parties come to the table with a sincere desire to understand their partner's feelings and thoughts.
It's also important to remember that touch and time outside of the bedroom is so important for a healthy marriage. For Ben and I, in our stage of life, this is something that can be difficult. We get tired and busy and sometimes we put each other on the back burner. It's something we're always working to do better with.
In one part of the book, Gaye suggested that women measure their physical love for their husbands by using 1 Corinthians 13. I love that idea.
This is a book I would definitely recommend, especially to engaged or newly married couples.
Business Boutique by Christie Wright
I loved this book! Christie Wright is a Dave Ramsey personality who focuses on entrepreneurial women, mostly who are starting businesses from home. Some of it didn't apply to me because of the type of business I am doing, but I loved the information in the book, thought she did a great job with the organization, and came away from it fired up to work on my business again.
One thing she touched on was the idea of fear in business. She talks about how everyone is scared in business and that even old hats have things they get nervous about. The ones who succeed just work through the fear. There's no reason to think that because you're nervous, you're on the wrong track. In fact, fear is good, because it means you're actually doing something and pushing yourself.
She also talked about how you don't have to be an expert or have a perfect set up to start. Just start and as your business grows, you'll grow with it! I loved that because I feel like I am not at all ready to start something. One idea she has for pushing past this is talking to yourself instead of listening to yourself. When you have thoughts about not being good enough or not feeling ready, push those away and instead tell yourself that you're ready. When you talk to yourself, you can tell yourself whatever you want.
Once you've pushed past the hardness of starting, you have to actually get to work or your business will never succeed. But also remember that there are different stages of life and you get to choose how much time you're going to devote to your business and how big you want your business to grow. This is really important for me to remember, since my free time is so limited with such small kids to look after. I also know that I want my blog to reach as many people as possible, but I don't ever want my business to grow so big that I hire employees or spend more than ten to twenty hours a week on it.
There was a lot in her book, but the last idea I wanted to touch on was focus. It's really easy in a business to get side tracked and want to go in a million different directions or start a million different businesses. I have felt that already. There are so many other things I want to write about or share on, but I need to stay focused. Those businesses that succeed do so because they have focused on their passion and their audience. They aren't trying to do a million things at once. They've chosen a direction and stuck with it.
I would definitely recommend this book to any entrepreneur and especially to any woman who wants to get into or start a business. I will probably be rereading at least sections of this book.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
I really liked the idea behind this book, but I didn't think the execution of it was very well done. Ben and I read it together and both felt the same way.
I don't know if I can quite put my finger on why I didn't like it. It wasn't exactly what I was expecting. It was a little boring. The experiences from the concentration camp that he shared somehow seemed impersonal, detached in a way that made it not as compelling. The psychological side of it had some interesting parts, but at times, it seemed he was reaching to prove his new theory. This might be the kind of book that would be better to go online and find someone's synopsis of it.
The main idea is that rather than searching for happiness, man should be searching for meaning. If someone can find a meaning for their suffering, they can endure just about anything. If they lose sight of the meaning of it, they will give up. "In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice."
One quote from the book: "If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete."
Another quote: "From all this we may learn that there are two races of men in the world, but only these two--the "race" of the decent man and the "race" of the indecent man. Both are found everywhere; they penetrate into all groups of society. No group consists entirely of decent or indecent people."
And another: "No one has the right to do wrong, not even if wrong has been done to them."
He talks also about the freedom we have that cannot be taken away: that of our attitude in suffering. "It is not freedom from conditions, but it is freedom to take a stand toward the conditions."
The Legacy Journey by Dave Ramsey
This was reread for me, but I thoroughly enjoyed the book (both times). In contrast to his other books, which are more focused on how to get out of debt and the importance of using a common sense, debt free approach to finances, this book focuses more on baby step seven and building wealth.
In the book, Dave Ramsey talks a lot about how it's okay, once you have wealth, to enjoy some of it. Our society looks down on the wealthy and wealth in general, but it's actually a good thing to enjoy the hard work and sacrifice it took to get to where you are. The key is to have a balance between spending, giving, and investing.
They way he recommends you set up your budget, to ensure balance, is through percentages. So once you are out of debt, investing for retirement, have your kids college funds begun, and your house paid off (so no payments or debt of any kind and your future on track to be taken care of), you and your spouse prayerfully decide on an amount your family can comfortably live on. I'll use Ben and I as an example, pretending we're in that position right now. We have a gross income of $110,000. We would both be very comfortable living on $60,000. That leaves $50,000. To keep everything, balanced, you take the leftover (so for us, the $50,000) and apply percentages to it. We set aside about 35% for taxes right off the bat and 10% to tithing. Then we'd choose a percent for investing (maybe something like 35%), giving on top of the tithe (for example, 15%), and then the remaining 5% would be earmarked for lifestyle (things like traveling or anything we wanted to buy for fun that was on top of the amount we had set aside for living off of). These numbers are all just examples. The percentages don't matter, as long as you and your spouse both feel good about it and feel that you are managing it how God wants. Using percentages means that no matter how much or little you make, this method would work and it also means that as your income increases (as most incomes increase over a lifespan), your spending, giving, and saving remain balanced.
I love this book, but I love everything by Dave Ramsey. If you are headed toward the wealth-building part of your life, I would definitely recommend this book (if you want to be but aren't quite there yet, I definitely recommend his book The Total Money Makeover or his FPU course).
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